DU Men and Women.............Do ladies talk too much?

[Lostmessage]

I love to talk and recently I have been thinking about breaking off a friendship of a person that I care about because I was told that I talk too much.

Do women talk too much? Do men talk too much?

Is it better to talk or be silent?

[afraid_of_the_dark]

1. It's ok to talk...

but you just have to make sure that you're also listening (and saying that you are while you are talking doesn't count - make sure you're letting others have a turn to talk too).

[bloom]

2. well that is quite the generalization

"You" may talk too much - or not - depending on personal preference.

As far as "ladies" - that cannot be said.

[blondeatlast]

3. No. It's better to dump disrespectful friends.

:evilgrin:

Seriously, I'm a woman and I hate to talk, especially on the phone.

Typing appears to be another matter entirely!

[Lostmessage]

8. I am too shy to talk on the phone

Two times a week and I talk too much means that the person doesn't want to talk at all.

I love people and I think that I am too caring.

[3rdParty]

4. Actually its better to listen for a change...

Instead of shooting the messenger, listen to the message. And use it as an opportunity to improve yourself.

[Lostmessage]

9. I do listen

Someone tells you they love you and doesn't want to talk to you means they have problems on their end as well.

[Loonman]

5. It's not a big deal, men or women

Men have a technique known as the Smile&Nod© that triggers with certain verbal cues and tonal variations.

If done effectively it is foolproof.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

6. It's best to apply thought before speaking,

and best to listen to what someone is saying before giving the matter thought.

[tarheel]

7. I was always

of the mind that "Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt".

That being said, I run my moouth all the time....way too much for my own good !!!! :crazy:

[prolesunited]

10. I thought you posted the other day

that you breaking off the relationship because he stood you up for going on a trip?

It is obvious by the number of posts you make in the Lounge that you enjoy talking and being the center of attention. Probably not the right fit for you. :shrug:

As for your question, I think it promotes a sexist stereotype. Some women talk too much. Some men talk too much. It has nothing to do with their gender.

[Lostmessage]

11. We talked again

He's from the old school and he thinks that women are to be seen and not heard.

[prolesunited]

13. Well if he stands you up on a trip

and makes statements like that, why on earth would you want to remain friends with him?!?!?

Better to be alone than allow someone to treat you like crap.

[Bunny]

20. True words, prolesunited!

I don't think the fit is right,lostmessage. You do tend to flood the lounge with posts, many perseverating on the same topics, nearly all requesting attention and reassurance. Frankly, if you communicate in person the way you communicate on this Board, I would have a very hard time being around you for very long. I am not surprised that your boyfriend says you talk too much.

This may seem harsh, but I mean these words kindly. Listen to what your boyfriend and others here are saying. There just may be some wisdom therein. I wish you well.

[Lostmessage]

27. You can hit a button

Ignore right?

[CatWoman]

37. um

Bunnyj does make an excellent point here.

Maybe you should look inward, rather than lash outward :shrug:

[truthspeaker]

12. in general, yes BUT

It's such a broad generalization, with so many exceptions, it's not very useful (or very nice).

Personally I think most people talk to much. I try only to speak when I have something to say. Some people seem to use speech as a way of maintaining relationships with people, rather than as a means for conveying information. I wish those people would shut the fuck up and let me think.

But that's just me.

[Logansquare]

14. Is this the F*CKER who told you size 10 was too big?!!

Lose this sack of shit...NOW!! There are actual real men out there to love.

[GOPisEvil]

17. Thank you. Quit wasting your time with this idiot.

He's already proven that he isn't worth the effort.

[Lostmessage]

32. Thanks

:loveya:

[Lostmessage]

21. No he is not

.

[prolesunited]

22. He's not the same one

Or he's not a loser. Judging by what you've posted about him, he's no good for you. Why would you stay with him?

[Lostmessage]

23. I am lonely & too old to meet someone else

I have to go to work and deal with a kid.

Thanks I won't post that much anymore.

[truthspeaker]

25. not a good reason to stay with someone who doesn't respect you

It's better to be lonely than to be treated badly. And I know there are older single men out there. Don't disrespect yourself by letting someone else disrespect you.

[prolesunited]

26. What does going to work and dealing with a kid

have to do with it. Is this the one that wants to show you his "schlong"?

That's a clear case of harassment in the work place. Document it and report it. Don't allow it to continue.

People will treat you with the level of respect that you command and demand. Stop being such a doormat for men and stand up for yourself.

My advice would be to break up the that idiot and spend some time getting to know and like yourself better. Read some books. Develop some hobbies and interests. Go places. When you venture out into dating again, it will be with a new sense of confidence and self worth.

Then, when a guy starts treating you like crap, you won't hesitate to walk away. You have better things to do with your time.

Just because you're alone doesn't mean you have to be lonely.

[Lostmessage]

28. Thanks

I started to go to the movies and museums alone.

The kid is another story at work. I am thinking about buying a bullhorn and hitting it when he talks about his you know what.

[blondeatlast]

39. VOLUNTEER TO GET *it* OUT OF OFFICE--

Work with the Dems, your favorite candidate, MoveOn, your union, the ACLU--I'm sure DUers can think of many opportunities.

It's a winning situation from the get-go; you are surrounded by people with a shared goal and hence, a common interest. You start off with plenty to talk about and you are kept very busy. And they will love you; everyone loves volunteers (I supervise a couple who are not so terribly talented, but we love them to pieces).

They are grateful for anything you can offer, too. Honestly, I can't wait to volunteer again; if it wasn't for my schedule I would have been with the 20 year olds at ASU beating the drum for Dennis K already. Once my kid is on summer break, I AM THERE!

Edit: let's just say I'm old enough to be their mother, ALMOST.

[prolesunited]

40. That is NOT

the appropriate way to deal with the situation.

Here's a couple of links for you with appropriate responses and information:
http://www.chicagolegalnet.com/sex.htm

http://www.nolo.com/lawcenter/ency/article.cfm/ObjectID/0E020B2A-F7D9-40C2-AB52398DFAAFDC6F/catID/57153B2E-F39E-48DA-830ADA31F5A23325

[blondeatlast]

36. Things won't IMPROVE from this point on--heed ProlesUnited.

The most "social" fun I ever had was working on campaigns--you start off with a common interest and a shared goal and that's a damn good way to find friends and beyond, don't you think?

[EV1Ltimm]

15. women also blink 400% more than men do too...

it's just one of those things.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

16. I'm a woman, and I agree women talk too much...

Well, some do...I think there's a time to talk and a time when it's not necessary (like when I'm trying to watch ER...When I turn up the volume, it's not so you can talk louder, bitch. Sorry, This happened at the end of last semester and I'm still bitter. lol). If you are truly friends with someone, you can sit and not talk. It's ok. My BF and I can sit in silence for hours. Both of us know it's ok, and the other's not pissed off or upset. Sometimes those are the best conversations. But I only have a few women friends because I don't like most women. They make me insane.
Duckie

[Lostmessage]

18. My Mother was a Mennonite

I have to break everything that she instilled in me. Like you serve men and woman are here to have babies, etc.

I can't live like that and I want someone to appreciate me. I do talk allot but I am not sure if it's too much.

[supernova]

19. Never been accused

of talking too much. :shrug:

I'm not much of a chatter in off-line life. I mostly talk if I think I have a point to make. Other than that, I mostly listen.

If you only talk to this person 2x a week and he thinks it's too much.... well, hrmmmm.... something else is going on there entirely. I think he's the one with the problem. I would seriously retink your relationship with this person.

[Obamarama]

24. Well, at least the two women I share office space with do....

Me and the other guy barely say a peep...nose to the grindstone...you know, actually WORKING!?!

These two...oy vey...yap, yap, yap. And never about anything intelligent or important. Stupid, mundane SHIT all day long.

Among the things they tend to discuss is how they never have any time to get their jobs done. Small surprise there. It's called CAUSE AND EFFECT!!!

Okay...rant over.

[buddhamama]

29. what's too much? and no, women and men do not talk too much

what we have here is a generaliztion that certainly doesn't apply to all, and it can't factually be answered because it is too subjective.

i being the more silent type might say that person "X" talks too much. however, person "B" might be even more "talkative"(by my definiton) than person "X" causing person "B" to label person "X" not talkative enough, and me a wallflower. :eyes:

[Lostmessage]

31. One night I posted too much

We were all up real late and I posted a bunch of links that some of us were having fun on.

I like to post cute pictures but that's too much i guess.

I talk too much and I feel so bad about this.

[buddhamama]

42. don't feel bad about being who you are

the nite you describe, people were having fun, no?

if they were then why should you feel bad. there is always going to be people who either like you, don't like you or are indifferent.

you can't please everyone, and that is a fact. don't take criticism or negative comments directed at you to heart, unless you are sure the person speaking truly cares and has your best interest in mind and not their own. embrace those who appreciate you for You, and leave the others alone.

[Raven]

30. Nope. That's all I have to say about that.

Except, do you really dress your cats up ????? :-)

[Lostmessage]

33. Yes they are my boys

I love my boys what can I say.

[Raven]

34. You taught them to smoke too???

Wow!

[Lostmessage]

35. Yes and drink

They have catnip tea on a regular basis. I am a bad mom right?

[GOPisEvil]

38. At least they're potty-trained.

:evilgrin:

[SOteric]

41. In general: no. In specific: sometimes yes, sometimes no.

I recall reading about an experiment in grad school that randomly filmed several thousand group interactions involving both genders. On average the men spoke close to 70% of the time the women close to 30%. Additionally men interrupted anothers speech more often than did women.

What does this prove? I dunno. Possibly nothing. In the general sense I do not believe women talk too much. With regard to specific individuals, I believe it's possible and probable that some people talk too much.

I've met a few people who seem to disgorge every single thought that enters their minds. I admit, it's irritating to attempt listening to them and my mind seeks to tune out the irrelevant chatter.

Others simply monopolise the conversation to the point where no feedback, statements or contrasting opinion is possible.

Then, too, sometimes "you talk too much" is just a way to say "you've shared information in an indiscrete manner, or told my secrets when I'd expected you to keep them."