The adventures of Bush and Rove

[scottcsmith]

The Adventures of Bush and Rove
Tonight's episode: Election Fever

Bush and Rove, Bush and Rove
Two wacky guys on the political road
Bush and Rove, Bush and Rove
One is stupid, the other is Rove
Bush and Rove, Bush and Rove
Lowerin' taxes for millionaire row
Bush and Rove, Bush and Rove
Buddies forever
Oh yeah!

We are inside the Oval Office. George W. Bush, PRESIDENT, is sleeping on the floor.
There is a knock on the door and Karl Rove, Chief Political Adviser, enters Oval Office. He stops and looks over the office.

Rove: Mr. President? Are you here?

From the floor: muffled snores.

Rove: Sir? Where are you?

ROVE walks over to the president's desk. He spots BUSH sleeping. Rove SIGHS, walks over to Bush, and pushes the sleeping president on the shoulder.

Rove: Sir? We have a meeting. Are you awake?

Bush: (mumbling) No...Clinton...ugha...mommy...

Rove: Mr. President?

Bush: (groggily) Uh...who is it? Karl?

Rove: Yes, sir.

Bush: (extends hand) Can you help me up, Karl.

Rove helps Bush stand up. He returns to his desk, and motions for Rove to sit down.

Rove: Sir, may I ask you a question?

Bush: Shoot.

Rove: Why were you asleep?

Bush: I needed a nap, Karl. Nothin' wrong with that.

Rove: But it's 9:15. Laura told me you were up at 8:45.

Bush: And?

Rove: Well...there's a whole country to run and all...

Bush: Ah, Karl, don't you know by now? Delegatin'. That the secret to bein' a good CEO. You hire good people and let them do their jobs. I learned that gettin' my MBA. Clinton didn't have a MBA, and people think I'm stupid.

Rove: Well, Clinton was a lawyer, so he had the equivalent of a doctorate.

Bush: Doesn't matter. Say, Karl, I thought for sure someone would have told me by now, but did I win?

Rove: Win what, sir?

Bush: The election.

Rove: What election?

Bush: The big election. Last night. I'm still president, right? That was easy! I didn't even have to campaign!

Rove: Sir, that wasn't the presidential election.

Bush: You sure 'bout that, Karl?

Rove: Sir, the presidential election is in November.

Bush: It is? This November?

Rove: Yes, sir.

Bush: So what happened last night? Did the Vice President get elected? Where is Dick, anyway?

Rove: Sir, it was primaries and caucuses for the Democrats last night.

Bush: I'm not following you.

Rove: The Democrats are in the process to select a candidate.

Bush: For what?

Rove: President, sir. The person you'll be up against.

Bush: Whoa there, professor. Do you mean to tell me I have to run against someone? I thought you got the second term if you managed to make it through the first one without a speeding ticket. And I've passed almost all of my drug screening tests.

Rove: Don't you remember 2000? You ran against Al Gore.

Bush: Al Gore, eh? So that's who is running?

Rove: No, sir. It might be Senator John Kerry, or it might be Senator John Edwards. Maybe even Gov. Howard Dean.

Bush: Dean. I've heard of him. Short guy, right? Invented the slip knot?

Rove: What??

Bush: Dean. I read about him back in college. He invented the slip knot, and was the first man ever to eat a television.

Rove: Sir?

Bush: All this talk. I'm tired. Bush YAWNS.

Rove: Some other news you might want to hear.

Bush: Ooh, is it a story about lions? I like 'em. Fierce.

Rove: No, sir. It's about Massachusetts.

Bush: What the heck is a Massachewzit?

Rove: Sir, the state.

Bush: Right, right, I'm pullin' your leg.

Rove: Their high court just ruled on gay marriages.

Bush: Uh oh.

Rove: And it looks like there will be gay marriage soon.

Bush: Holy crap!

Rove: Needless to say, Conservatives are worried.

Bush: Holy crap!

Rove: Do you want me to prepare a statement?

Bush: Oh, man, can we just stop them?

Rove: Sorry, sir. Unless the Supreme Court makes some sort of ruling.

Bush: I can't take much more of this. Can you head out, Karl? I'm kind of stressed.

Rove: Certainly, sir.
ROVE exits the Oval Office

Bush (pulling out a Game Boy Advance from his desk drawer): Ah, Pokemon, we meet again. Prepare to meet your maker.

TO BE CONTINUED

[scottcsmith]

1. Uh oh

My hard work, unnoticed! What's wrong with it? Does it need more COW BELL??

[murielm99]

2. Not unnoticed!

I was highly entertained!

Where is chapter two? Continue, already!

[scottcsmith]

3. Soon

I usually write an episode every other week. Gotta keep the kids in suspense.

[terrya]

4. I hope you're working on chapter 2!

Very entertaining. You have Bush down to a T! :-)

Nice writing.

Terry