At the Christmas party I went to last night, a friend of mine

[Midlodemocrat]

brought his new girlfriend. Pretty nice, except it is kind of obvious that she doesn't like his eleven year old daughter who was there as well.

I hate that. This kid is really a sweetie.

[Darth_Kitten]

1. Why was it obvious?

I say this doesn't bode well. :(

[Midlodemocrat]

2. At first I thought it was just me, but I just called the hostess

to thank her and she kind of tip toed around it and confirmed what I thought. And, my husband commented on the way home.

It was obvious in the fact every time she came up to talk to one of us, mind you, I've known this little girl for six years and really, really like her so she talks to me when she sees me, this woman got a sour sucking lemon face and once even rolled her eyes when I asked this child what she wanted for Christmas.

Kind of bothered me. Obviously, an adult Christmas party is the last place a child wants to be, but she was playing on the computer and making the best of it (her dad didn't want to leave her home because he's in the process of moving) and she is a delightfully pleasant kid.

So, yeah, kind of bothered me. I didn't see any real 'warmth'.

[Darth_Kitten]

29. If you can't accept somebody's kids, you really shouldn't be with them...

The girlfriend sounds like she's got a lot of growing up to do. :(

[Gormy Cuss]

3. Maybe the light will dawn on the father soon.

When the contempt for a child is that obvious it usually gets ugly.

[Midlodemocrat]

5. The thing is, he's really, really lonely.

His marriage went sour, and he's just been looking for someone to spend some time with.

I hope he comes around, but I just found out that a neighbor of mine is marrying the man that she had an affair with that broke up her marriage and her kids hate this guy, so I guess love is often blind.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

4. what a crappy dad to not put an end to that.

[Midlodemocrat]

6. Like I said to Gormy, I don't know if he notices.

Actually, I hope he doesn't. That would be a good excuse for this. If he does notice and still keeps seeing this woman, (who was perfectly pleasant in every other way) that would truly suck.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

9. the thing is if you noticed it over a dinner as did your husband

he probably does too, but either wont acknowledge it or is praying it will go away.

[Midlodemocrat]

10. That's what I am afraid of.

And, it bothered me a lot that this woman, whom I just met, felt comfortable not being nice to this child in my presence. This kid and I have a history and she should have been falling all over this kid to impress her dad's friends.

Didn't happen.

[Critters2]

19. If she's like this in public, I wonder how she is in private.

Or how she'll become, if things get serious with the father.

Some reason for concern, istm.

[AlCzervik]

7. I wonder if she's nice when the Dad's around? Anyhow thats unfortunate.

My parents got divorced when i was 5 and my Dad had a string of girlfriends, some were really nice and some were pretty awful and we knew pretty quick which ones didn't want us around. I feel bad for that girl because i was her and it really hurts when you know someone doesn't wasnt you around.

[Midlodemocrat]

8. It was hard to watch.

But, I'm hoping he comes to his senses. This little girl truly deserves better, she's a doll.

Actually, every little girl deserves better.

[AlCzervik]

13. if it continues and the Dad is oblivious to it i would bet that the girl will start

making excuses n ot to see her Dad and honestly i wouldn't blame her at all. Does the Dad see what's happening?

[Midlodemocrat]

14. I don't know. It kind of threw me.

I mean, I could *kind* of see it if the kid was being really pesty. But she kept asking ME to help her with the Webkinz site and she asked my friend if she could roast marshmallows (the host had a fire pit going)

So, it wasn't like this woman was being put out with all kinds of requests from her child after working a long day (like me who was at the wrestling tournament from 7AM-5:30PM) and was looking for a night out.

This little girl is a friend of BabyMidlo and a friend of the hostess' son, so she felt comfortable talking to me and the hostess and asking us for help. No big deal. It's a fucking CHRISTMAS party. Have a little Holiday spirit.

[AlCzervik]

18. i forgot to ask, is this a new relationship for the dad?

and do you think the girl already knows that the girlfriend doesn't like her?

[Midlodemocrat]

27. I think about six months.

And, I do think the little girl knows because she didn't engage this woman if she could ask someone else.

[Madrone]

11. I HATE that kind of behavior.

Especially when it comes from women that have kids of their OWN.

For example - there's a small, local pet shop in my small, local town. The woman that owns it has 3 kids (I think?) all older teenagers/early 20's. She got divorced from her husband, and almost immediately hooked up with another guy that has two small children from his former marriage. His former wife is a REAL piece of work, from what I understand. Anyway - pet shop lady resents the HELL out of his kids. They're just LITTLE kids. So the mom's a whack job who uses the kids to play games with HER boyfriend - SO WHAT. Not the kids fault.

Every time I talk to her and she's unable to contain her irritation and disgust for the kids I find myself wondering how different her viewpoint would be if it was HER with the little kids and some guy wanted her to put HIM before her children. I suspect her attitude would be pretty opposed to what it is now.

[Midlodemocrat]

12. In all honesty, I was so repulsed by this woman's behavior

that I didn't want to get to know her. I don't know if she has kids of her own. Anyone who could be that dismissive to the child of the man you are dating and 'presumably' care about is an ass.

[Madrone]

15. Agreed 100%

If you date someone with kids, the kids are, will always be, and SHOULD REMAIN the priority. Not you. Ever.

[Midlodemocrat]

16. It amazes me how many adults don't get that.

And, are willing to leave their kids in the dust for the sake of a new relationship.

[ThomCat]

17. I really wonder about adults who clearly don't like kids.

Yes, kids can be loud and uncontrollable at times, but's they're basically really adorable little people who have huge amounts of cuteness, trust, and energy.

One of my sort-of-regrets in life is that I was never in a position to have/foster/adopt kids.

[AlCzervik]

20. kids i like, some of their parents....not so much.

[ThomCat]

21. That's true. The times I don't like kids it's usually because

they act like their parents. And it's much more common for me to like the kids but dislike the parents.

[AlCzervik]

22. i was a girl scout troop leader (yes me, i know) for about 4 years and the girls were great

but some of the parents i wanted to throttle, half of them had no idea what wonderful children they had.

[Midlodemocrat]

26. Man, you hit a nerve with me today.

I arranged for about 15 adults to help supervise yesterday at the Wrestling tournament and over half of them didn't show. Not only didn't they show, they never bothered to tell me that they weren't coming, so I was stuck at the whole damned thing.

And, there was one wrestler who screamed 'Fuck You' at an opposing coach because he lost, and his mother came flying out of the stands to defend the kid. :wow:

That coach came over to get some coffee after it was over and he was so upset. Knowing that mom, I told him that if she behaved that way, was it any wonder the child felt it was acceptable to use that language to an adult when the child was clearly in the wrong.

(Turns out, too, this coach just lost his full time job and is really having a hard time, so we had a ton of food left over that I sneaked to him. At least he'll eat for a few days.)

[Midlodemocrat]

25. I don't understand it either.

Hell, I volunteer in a school where I don't even have any kids because the SPEd class there is so amazingly chock full of little sweeties I get a totally full heart.

And, it's never too late, you know. Things happen in the strangest manners. I had two foster children when I was in my early 20s. :wtf:

It just happened. Sometimes things just happen.

[lizziegrace]

23. So I'll ask the question before my mother does...

"Is he married???" Gotta love my mother. :eyes:

Oh, and to the girlfriend part she's ask "are they serious?"

I feel terrible for his daughter. :(

[supernova]

24. Once dated a guy who resented his 7 yo son

Much of the time we spent together he found ways, large and small, to say how much he resented being a parent.

Even though I don't have children, I really disliked the idea that this guy resented having to take care of his own son. The kid is a teen now or nearly so. I bet Steve has his hands full. P

edit: I hope your friend figures out what his date is up to. That's really sad.

[Skittles]

28. not right

if you take on a partner with children it's a box set - yes INDEED