Something Important to remember as you face the day-

[Beaker]

If you're on the elevator, or on the bus, or sitting at your desk...and you smell that someone farted-

it means that molecules that just came out of their hairy, feces-encrusted ass just went into your nose...:9

have a nice day. :D

[liberalhistorian]

1. EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

YUCK! Geez, thanks for that wonderful way to start the day, lol! But what about if WE'RE the ones who farted?

[Beaker]

6. think of it as recycling-

or, as Fat Bastard put it:

"everyone likes their own brand."

and btw- don't think that we don't notice you sniffing your finger all day long...nobody has a nose that itches that much.

[Loonman]

2. BTW, your keyboard is the filthiest and most germ-laden item

in your cubicle.

[liberalhistorian]

4. Bingo!

And don't forget doorknobs and telephones, either, they're just as disgustingly filthy and germ-laden.

[blondeatlast]

3. Guess why I take the staff elevators at the library where I work?

[latebloomer]

5. Why, are staff butts less feces-encrusted?

than the general population?

(I'm glad I didn't have breakfast yet.)

[Burma Jones]

7. I used to live a block from a crematorium

The crematorium had a contract to cremate the remains of the indigent in Washington, DC. I was living in Silver Spring, right at the border with Takoma Park - Gist Avenue. Gist Avenue was also the address for Root Boy Slim and Dave Grohl...

Sometimes I would wonder who the hell was grilling at 8:00 in the morning. The funny thing is that a huge commercial bakery was about a quarter mile away, so sometimes I would smell Cinnamon Buns and then smell the indigent departed.

[TXlib]

8. That's just wrong...

They fire up the crematorium, and you're thinking, "Mmmm, barbeque!"

[Burma Jones]

13. Not Mmmmm, BBQ, but, What??? BBQ?

After I learned what was creating that smell, I was a little more respectful....

[Beaker]

10. i worked on a two-year construction project at a sewage treatment plant-

and you could always tell when flu season started.

[TXlib]

9. My ass isn't feces-encrusted.

I wash it every time I go.

[Interrobang]

11. Wow, what a lot of germophobes!

I take the normal precautions, and wash, of course, but I like to think of things in terms of risk assessment. There are a lot more dangerous things out there than a few possible germs from healthy individuals...

If you stopped doing everything that was even nominally dangerous, you'd have to die.

[Loonman]

12. I used to work with a guy we called "scratch n' sniff"

After we caught him on the loading dock scratching his balls and sniffing his fingers.