How to wash the cat.

[ohiosmith]

1. Open a door to the outside.

2. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

3. Pour 1/4 cup of detergent in the toilet water and lift both lids.

4. Obtain the cat and soothe it as you approach the bathroom.

5. In one smooth movement place the cat in the toilet quickly closing both seat and lid. Stand on the lid to prevent the cat from escaping.

CAUTION: Do not get any of your body parts close to the seat or lid edges as the cat will be searching for any openings.

The cat will self-agitate creating enough suds for a thorough cleansing. Ignore the noises the cat makes, it is enjoying the experience.

6. Flush the toilet several times. This provides a power wash and a very effective rinse.

7. Ensure that there are no obstructions - especially people - between the toilet and the door opened to the outside.

8. Stand as far behind the toilet as you can and quickly lift the lid and seat.

9. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet racing outside to dry.

Sincerely,

The Dog

[bahrbearian]

1. I was going to try it till I read that the Dog ,thought it Up.

[Az]

2. Cats are not natural life forms

I know this through painful first hand experience.

Once I tried to throw a cat in a lake (not deep and I was a kid at the time, not something I would do now, particularly with what I now know). Let us just say this. Step 5 in the process above will not work. A cat cannot be thrown into water. I found this out when the cat in question latched onto my arm with its claws (this was a 30 pound cat). They won't go in the water. Its practically supernatural how they can avoid it.

Rocket is an understatement. Cats do not normally move in any way suggesting their top speeds. Their top speed violates several laws of physics. This was discovered when we were sitting around playing some cheap ass games (no really, that is the name of the company). We had brought the games over in some plastic bags. The cat began exploring the plastic bag and got his head through the handle. It was at that moment that the bag rustled. The cat freaked causing the bag to make more noise. So the cat did what came naturally to it and entered ludicrous speed. From that moment on we only knew the location of the cat by sound. There was a faint outline of a cat in a bag visible but like an electron we could only know its speed or its location at any given moment. We knew it was going fast. Hence we never could get a lock on it. It was in several different rooms at the same time. Much of the furniture was rearainged. When the cat finally came out of warp the bag had been descimated in ways that cannot be described. The cat after a few moments attempted to pretend the incident had never occurred.

[cosmicaug]

3. In my experience, cats make very strange noises when bathed.

In my experience, cats make very strange noises when bathed; however, unlike what "The Dog" contends, I have my doubts that these noises are an expression of their enjoyment of the bathing process.

[LynneSin]

4. My cat is curious about the bathtub.....

...especially when I'm in it. I took a bubble bath yesterday and Abbie kept testing the water with his paw. Not sure if I wanted a wet cat in the tub with me

:shrug:

[Az]

5. No

There is never any reason to desire the presense of a wet cat. Neither you or the cat will enjoy it.

[LynneSin]

6. Then why does he keep trying to get into the tub

Seriously, after testing the water he jumps up on the side of the tub. I really thought he was going to come splashing in with me

:shrug:

[Az]

8. Curiousity

can not only kill the cat, but often times it comes with collateral damage. Trust me on this one. The only cat you want to get wet is a Turkish cat (one of the few swimming cats).

[La Lioness Priyanka]

11. also bengal cats

[bahrbearian]

7. My Rat Terriers will jump in shower with me

I take advantage of that to bath them, I couldn't imagine being naked with a Cat.

[Butterflies]

9. My rat terrier fights getting wet

I can't imagine him willingly getting into a shower. Are your dogs kind of timid when it comes to new experiences? That's how my rat terrier is, and I thought they all had similar personalities.

[bahrbearian]

10. Yes they are a bit timid.

But I have an Alpha female that has never been afraid of anything. She climb's the ladder to my above ground pool and swims a lap then climb's out to chase anything moving and it's rubbed off on the other's.

[Pithlet]

12. I tried to bathe a cat once.

Never again.

That's an oldie but goodie.