http://dickipedia.org/index.php?title=PilgrimsThe Pilgrims is the name commonly applied to a particular group of seventeenth-century European colonial dicks. They settled in present-day Plymouth, Massachusetts. They were a religious congregation, which is not the only reason they were dicks, though it is, nevertheless, one of the reasons. The Pilgrims had originally fled a volatile political environment in the East Midlands of England for the Netherlands. But once in the Netherlands, the Pilgrims’ level of dickishness was such that they couldn’t live even in the Netherlands. Many have asked, what kind of dick would find the Netherlands too intolerant or too constraining? The answer is the Pilgrims.
Afraid of losing their cultural identity through misdickination, or intermarriage between themselves and non-dicks, the colonists decided to form a new colony in North America, securing funding from English investors. Historians often note that virtually every dick situation can ultimately trace its start back to investment bankers.
The colonists faced many challenges, from disease to internal conflict to the people whose land they had stolen. Fortunately, they were able to withstand the former and slaughter the latter, and went on to become the second successful English settlement in what would later become the United States of America, and their dick spirit became an important force in American cultural identity.
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