Santa and his elves

[Archae]

SOME LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT SANTA'S ELVES.

Santa's elves are really subordinate Clauses. As they make toys, they sing "Love Me Tender." That's why they're known as Santa's little Elvis. They feel that all their strenuous efforts getting ready for Christmas are just like a day at the office. They do all the work, and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit. And anytime he wishes, Santa can give them the sack. A group of rebellious elves -- along with their elf uncles and elf aunts -- have banded together to protest the terrible conditions they've been working under. They are known as the Santanistas -- and they're striving for higher elf esteem.

But wait! There's more!

What's red and white and black all over? Santa Claus entering a home through a chimney. He loves sliding down chimneys because it soots him. But he actually has a fear of getting stuck. That fear is called Santa Claus-trophobia. The way to get him out of the chimney is to pour Santa Flush on him. Occasionally, Santa falls down a chimney. Then he's Santa Klutz. Since Santa has to go up and down a wide variety of chimneys on Christmas, should he have a yearly flue shot?

:D