Wally Cleaver speaks truth to power!
15 is a GOOFY Age,
Dig Magazine, April, 1960
You're seen Tony on ABC-TV's Leave It To Beaver. He plays Wally, the older brother. Tony just turned 15, and he's found that there're a lot of things about this age that he just doesn't DIG. Here, for the very first time, he tells you what these things are. Do you feel the same way...or did you, when you were 15?
- I don’t dig guys just one or two years older than you who think you’re still a dumb kid
- I don’t dig being "too old" to gripe when I fall over some darn thing and practically kill myself.
- I don’t dig fifteen year old girls who think it’s "square" to date us "children"
- I don’t dig still not knowing exactly what to say and do on a first date with a new girl.
- I don’t dig watching what I eat all the time so my face won’t break out and all that stuff
- I don’t dig the way I get embarrassed sometimes. It’s embarrassing, or have I already said that?
- I don’t dig the hair that’s starting to grow on my chest (It wouldn’t be so bad if there was more than one!)
- I don’t dig people who’re always reminding me I’m too young to smoke. So who’s smoking anyway?
- I don’t dig being told what time to come in at night. I know when I’m supposed to be home.
- I don’t dig not having as much time to spend on staying in shape, and swimming and things like that.
- I don’t dig paying "adult" prices a the movies and not being able to go to "adult" pictures.
- I don’t dig trying to convince people there’s a big difference between fourteen and fifteen.
- I don’t dig being told that something like eggplants tastes good when I’m perfectly capable of telling that it doesn’t!
- I don’t dig not being "allowed" to know what’s happening because I’m "just too young." Oh brother!
- I don’t dig having to get up extra early in the morning so I’ll have time to make with the razor.
- I don’t dig those "funny" remarks when my voice cracks a little. I’m not trying to be a comedian!
- I don’t dig little kids coming up to me and asking me to play cops and robbers with them.
- I don’t dig being called Anthony by certain people. I won’t mention. It makes me feel kind of goofy.
- I don’t dig people who say "well, he’s only fifteen" like it was some kind of a disease.
- I don’t dig the way some people have started expecting me to get dressed up every time I go somewhere.
- I don’t dig those cheesy grins some so-called "adults" get when I trip on a rug or something like that.
- I don’t dig having to stop riding my bike just because people think I’m kind of a nut when I do.
- I don’t dig having so much more homework to do now than I had last year. Boy, do they pour it on!
- I don’t dig not being "old enough" to have the car I’m saving for right now. Like how far can a guy walk?
- I don’t dig growing out of all the sharp clothes I bought last year.
- I don’t dig getting razzed off the face of the earth when I date a sixteen year old girl. So what?
- I don’t dig the weird feeling I get when I think about being "out on my own" in a couple of year.
- I don’t dig going to some fancy party when I’d a lot rather go to the show, or just listen to records.
- I don’t dig people who tell me to act grown up and then treat me like my diapers are coming unpinned.
- I don’t dig not being able to mess around as much as I used to because it isn’t "dignified." Who needs it?
That poor bastard. If only he'd been born 40 years later he could be 15, pregnant, and living with K-Fed as his legal guardian by now!