So I finally drove a Hummer H2 today

[DainBramaged]

Yeah, the big, black ugly little dick wanna be car of Bush's tax break dreams (they were GVW at 6001 lbs, which qualified them for a 100% depreciation deduction if you owned a farm or small business a couple of years ago. It was Bush's thank you to his "small" donors, and GM capitalized on it).
22,000 mile 2003 well cared for and maintained. Was traded for a (get this) 2500 Silverado crew cab diesel, worth about $54,000.

It drove like shit. Shitty acceleration, feels like you are driving a giant coffin because there is terrible interior room, rattles and squeaks, but it seems that's part of the "panache" of these dinosaurs.


The worst part, a guy saw me drive into the dealership with it and came in to see if he could get it "cheap" (under $20K, assuming no one would want it). The actual as traded value is $27,000. And some "moran" will buy it when we clean it up service it and put it on display.


People will not learn.

[Ghost in the Machine]

1. I wouldn't have one....

you can't take them in the woods like a regular 4 wheel drive.. they're too wide and too bulky and they get stuck on small hills.

I bet a guy $100 that I could pull him all over a parking lot with my Jeep Grand Cherokee... he wouldn't take the bet. I would have embarrassed his big bad overpriced ego inflater..

[Robeson]

2. But did it make you feel like you had a larger penis?...

...I mean, isn't that what they're really for?

[DainBramaged]

5. No, I had the window open to air it out

I forgot to mention the owner smoked too, gag me right out so I didn't have a chance to think about my penis.

[RetroLounge]

30. "didn't have a chance to think about my penis"

now we know you're fibbin' :rofl:

:hi:

RL

p.s. I'd rather have my old GMC Suburban back any day...

[DainBramaged]

56. Come to think of it, I don't think about my penis much anymore

[quip]

6. Please

that's what Porsches, Corvettes, and Ferraris are for!

[DainBramaged]

9. No, just because you like fast cars doesn't mean you have penis envy

I will not fight about it either, it's fact.

[quip]

11. Likewise with off-road vehicles

:hi:

[DainBramaged]

12. Real off road vehicles are rock crawlers and mud boggers

:toast:

[quip]

14. Bring on the mud and the rocks

come to think of it, make my drink on the rocks, too! :toast:

[CRF450]

44. I'v argued about that bullshit in another thread in the breaking news section

The hell is it with DU'rs here about that crap?? I own an 01 Trans Am WS6, and people here are gonna say that I'm compensating for a tiny dick?! I find that down right offensive!

[DainBramaged]

52. Nice ride

[CRF450]

57. Gotta love the f-bodies, even though they're built like crap, there awsome to drive!

Mine is all black, cant say I like yellow paint job on the Collector Editions,I do like those decals though. My next car will probably be a Pontiac G8.

[DainBramaged]

60. We picked up a 2004 GTO off lease at auction this year

We had it all of 3 days before it was sold. People may have hated the "new" GTO, but when you can buy one for 20 large with under 20K.......


The G8 looks like big fun. Both versions. We pick up G6's all the time at GM auctions and they are wonderful cars in the GT version.

[CRF450]

61. People hated the bland look of the GTO

Alot of "it looks like another Grand Prix" complaints. They didn't sell much, then again it was a low volume car imported from Australia.

[appal_jack]

3. well, at least the 2500 diesel is a step-up in function

If the guy who bought it actually plans to do some work, the 2500 diesel is a nice truck. My Dad has a 2004-year 2500 Duramax/Allison Crewcab, and man it is a dream on wheels. He has hauled full pallets of stone in the bed, towed a 10,000 lb.-loaded trailer, and assorted other heavies, and the truck just purrs through it all. I tow my tractor (roughly 9,500 lbs. once on the trailer) with a '96 F-250 Powerstroke, and my truck doesn't haul nearly as smoothly as Dad's.

OTOH, since your guy traded-in an H2, his new 2500 is probably just a penis-extender curb ornament. That's OK too. When diesel hits $10 a gallon, we farmers will be able to buy the used ones cheap (even if we can only afford to drive them 1x per week!).

-app

[DainBramaged]

10. People 'round here buy Dualies for serious work

His replacement truck was window dressing. You tell me in the suburbs of NJ, where a crew cab diesel with an 8 foot bed is going to be useful if his H2 only had 20+K miles on it.

[appal_jack]

15. I agree

Dad & I both own SRW's instead of duallies since 4 tires are expensive enough to replace instead of six at a time. For us, the diesel-srw setups are just heavy-duty enough for what we tow & carry (sometimes barely so, but we manage and keep the loads @ legal weights...). If the farm ever gets really successful, I'll buy a 4500 Duramax-Allison-Dumpbed, but for now, I just pay others when a dump truck of compost/gravel/chicken litter/etc. is needed.

As for Mr.-suburban-NJ-former-H2 owner, I'd say you've hit the nail on the head.

-app

[DainBramaged]

16. I want me an SS Trailblazer

And the money to mod the shit out of it.

[appal_jack]

25. nice ride for NJ...

...but hauling chicken litter in that would be really stinky! Heck, hauling potatoes would get it too dirty. So not for me.

Good luck saving for mods (& gas - those things are thirsty too!)

-app

[rocktivity]

46. It's not a dualie unless you're NOT using it for serious work

Otherwise it's a pickup truck with four back wheels because you NEED a pickup truck with four back wheels.

I have no problem with people who drive such vehicles because they NEED to go off-road or haul what regular cars can't. It's the people who use them as expensive toys and penis substitutes who are causing the problem.

:headbang:
rocknation

[DainBramaged]

49. We know that, it's what the conversation is about.

[EstimatedProphet]

4. Serious question...

I buy that it is a penis enlarger. No argument there. So why do so many women drive them?

[Robeson]

7. Penis envy?...

...:shrug:

[Faygo Kid]

69. That's it exactly.

[DainBramaged]

8. They think they are "safe" because of the size

Here in Morris County NJ, a Rethug stronghold (one of only 2 Rethug counties in NJ) there are lots of them, but the "womenfolk" are downsizing because so many hassles trying to park, load shit in them, put up with people giving them the finger, they get keyed a lot, and everything on them is just HEAVY.

[EstimatedProphet]

13. Exactly my point

Everything you listed is the "appeal" of them (except the finger/keying stuff). Someone wanting it to show how macho they are would eat up the fact that it's hard to drive and park - that actually becomes a selling point.

[DainBramaged]

70. You really are a merchandising genius, aren't you?

You have no idea since you don't have anyone in your circle of friends who owns one.

[LynneSin]

35. When I was house shopping, one of the houses i rejected....

...was because the neighbor owned a Hummer. Mind you this is down-town Wilmington and some of these residential streets are one-way and very narrow. I saw the Hummer there when I did the house tour and 2 days later I do drive bys of the potential houses and the hummer was still there.

I don't want a neighbor who feels that somehow they need this massive piece of shit to survive living in downtown Wilmington.

[DainBramaged]

39. What if he owned a Ferrari or Bentley, would you change your mind?

You gave up a great house because of a Hummer for a neighbor?


Stupid is as stupid does.

[LynneSin]

43. If Hitler got the democratic nomination would you still vote party line?

Big difference between a Hummer and a Bentley/Ferarri.

First thing is price. There's a better chance of a family being able to purchase a Hummer over cars like Bentley/Ferarri. Hell, I have 3 Hummer Dealerships within 20 mile drive but I think I have to drive all the way to New Jersey or mainline if I want any of those high-end cars. So, as a girl who bought a downtown city rowhome where parking can be a pain in the ass - it's highly unlikely I'd see Ferrari's and Bentleys parked out there on the street.

Finally, again as part of downtown parking my car is parked on the street. And city streets can be very narrow and parking spaces can be tough to find especially if you live in a neighborhood where there are at least 5 very top-end restaurants within a 5 block radius. So when some asshole parks their oversized SUV on my street - it takes up 2 spots and sometimes makes it near impossible for me to get my car pass it on these narrow one-way streets.

So seriously - if Hitler got the democratic nomination......

:eyes:

[DainBramaged]

48. On edit

Fuck it

I cannot believe you thought using the Hitler card would be acceptable in any conversation. You know the answer, but then again, I don't know you any more.

[LynneSin]

68. I used it because you asked a question that was very very unlikely to happen

when I'm looking at homes that cost the price of a Bentley or Ferrari it's highly doubtful that I'm going to be purchasing a home where the neighbor has one. I used the Hitler question for one reason only - your question was basically one that was very highly unlikely to ever happen so it really has no answer. Perhaps if I was a millionaire many times over I could answer that question but since that seems very unlikely - I have no rich relatives and I don't play the lottery, then the situation you describe will very likely never happen (just like Hitler will never get the nomination for the dem party).

[doc03]

17. I never thought I would ever read a reveiw like this

about a GM UAW made vehicle from the guy that is always touting the virtues of Union made American products.



"It drove like shit. Shitty acceleration, feels like you are driving a giant coffin because there is terrible interior room, rattles and squeaks, but it seems that's part of the "panache" of these dinosaurs."

[DainBramaged]

18. Not everything we make is a winner, and I am realist

A piece of shit is a piece of shit.

[doc03]

33. I am amazed at the people who buy the

things, one guy up the road has one, I have never seen a spot of mud on it as far as I know he is not any great outdoors-man. He is our Superintendent of Schools, maybe it's just a penile extension in his case.

[DainBramaged]

38. Or hairpiece for the insecure

[A HERETIC I AM]

62. Well, since it isnt made by General Motors.....

You still have yet to read a review like this.

http://www.amgeneral.com/vehicles.php
Hummer H1 & H2 are made by AM General. A totally separate company and not a division or subsidiary of General Motors, Corp.

Of course, expecting a knockoff of a military vehicle to handle much better than its original is expecting too much.

[Fenris]

19. Goddamn those roof pillars are THICK.

[DainBramaged]

21. It also had the tire mounted INSIDE the luggage (HAHAHAHAH) area

SO you lost almost half your rear view through the window of the "hatch", which weighs about 500 lbs.


This thing is practical as a planter.

[SammyWinstonJack]

20. Wahwah wah! Whatever! How about all those old muscle cars/tanks of our parents' generation?

How about that the big three auto makers put the stop on fuel efficient vehicles way back when? How about the "Tucker Torpedo" Fuel efficient and safety efficient? Who put him out of business?

[DainBramaged]

22. Uh, that's my generation

I'd have a garage full if I hit the Powerball, and I'd have a garage full of tires JUST so I could burn them off at a moment's notice.

[SammyWinstonJack]

23. Just saying that SUVs are now our supposed monster fuel gobblers. Our parents' land sharks

gobbled up massive oil and it wasn't a problem, then. But now we rip on SUV owners like they are sourly responsible for depleting our oil and contributing to global warming. :wtf:

[Orsino]

28. The rules change.

When a corporation is becoming a monopoly, we (rightly) restrict its behavior. When the oil starts to run low, we similarly point fingers at conspicuous consumption.

And we pretend to be holier than other drivers just because we realized sooner that big cars aren't sustainable. Neither are any others that burn fossil fuels. Too many of us regard cars as symbols of power, and as with our guns, we will fanatically resist any attempt to restrict them--or to suggest that they aren't holy relics.

[DainBramaged]

29. I'd love a battery powered car with 500hp motors at each wheel

Go fast is not necessarily a bad thing. And preserving our history through muscle car restoration is not treason or herasy, it is to keep us mindful of what was was and what will be is.

[Orsino]

31. We can afford to keep a few holy relics around.

It's definitely important to understand the fallacies that led us to worship unsustainable transportation.

Solar energy is free--once we build a huge infrastructure--and we could have all the horsepower we want/need.

[DainBramaged]

32. Everyone understands the fallacies, you miss one vital point

Who has basically been in charge of the government since 1981?

[Orsino]

34. Which vital point is that?

That Big Oil's been running things for decades? I think everyone understood that, too.

[Oeditpus Rex]

24. Meh

As the first hot rodder I ever knew once told me, "Scratch looks good and sounds good, but it's got nothin' to do with winnin' a race."

:P

[SammyWinstonJack]

26. Yeah it's about the horse power, right?

[DainBramaged]

27. ABSOLUTELY

http://www.hotrod.com/index.html

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

66. Horsepower? Nah ...

I think it's about TORQUE. Driveshaft-twisting foot-pounds, and lots of 'em.

But what do I know? My ride only has 6 cylinders, and not very big ones either.

:rofl:

[DainBramaged]

67. You are right, but the more horsepower you make the more torque you make

(The love you make is equal to the love you take?)


:toast:

[CGowen]

36. You can tune them, but for that money you could buy a Ferrari

598 hp / 440 kW, 780 Nm and 225 km/h on 26-inch wheels

598 hp / 440 kW maximum power, 780 Nm of maximum torque, a top speed of 225 km/h and huge multi-piece 26-inch light alloy wheels: geigercars.de turns the Hummer H2 into an off road car of the most exclusive and ultra-powerful kind.

The heart of the all-wheel drive vehicle is the geigercars.de supercharger engine, which is available in two different versions: The Kompressor 780 version gets its type designation from its peak torque of 780 Nm, which is delivered at 4,700 rpm by the supercharged six-litre V8 engine. The maximum power of 598 hp / 440 kW is available at 5,200 revs.

The engine conversion based on the Hummer H2 motor costs 25,900 Euros and doesn't only contain the supercharger and the intercooler but also a lot of work on the inner life of the engine. The modifications include the machining of the two cylinder-heads, the installation of a sport camshaft and a reinforced valve gear and special exhaust manifolds, metal-bed catalysts and a high performance exhaust system.

...

geigercars.de alternatively provides complete cars or customizes Hummer H2 cars. The geigercars.de Kompressor 780 car with Orange Pearl special paint, which is shown on the photos, costs 144,092 Euros.

http://www.worldcarfans.com/7041125.001/hummer-h2-tuning-by-geigercars.de

[DainBramaged]

37. Sorry American Iron only here (I know)

[no name no slogan]

40. Best H2 web site

http://www.fuh2.com

Juvenile, tasteless, etc. but still kind of funny

[Blue Fire]

54. I do!!!!!

Every time I see one of those fucking waste of material sand fuel comin' at me, I roll down the window and fly 'em the bird!

[judaspriestess]

41. that is one ugly vehicle

I was parked next to an h3 the other day and it sounded like crap. Everything was rattling.

[gbate]

42. The only person I know who owns one of these is

a tiny little woman, about 4' nothing, 90 lbs wet.

And her co-workers think her big yellow monstrosity is "cool." Blech!!

[rocktivity]

45. One of them bit off my tail light two years ago

Fortunately, I was in the far right lane with no traffic around me, so I had enough time to not only notice that a Hummer was careening toward me from across the median, but to wonder whether it would be smarter to swerve or hit the gas. I chose the latter, heard rather than felt the impact, and slowed down and pulled over once I realized I was not going to lose control. I used to regret that I hadn't been a split second faster, but now I realize that if the Hummer had missed me completely, it would have gone over the right lane railing. The driver behind me had to have the roof cut off his car to be taken the the hospital via helicopter. It turned out the the perp was the girlfriend of a 19-year-old who got the Hummer as a graduation gift--for pulling straight D's, probably.

:eyes:
rocknation

[SacredCow]

47. I've never driven an H2....

but my sister owns an H3, and you can pretty much ditto everything you said about the H2. It's underpowered for the size, so the acceleration is pathetic... The interior is MOST awkward and uncomfortable.... It's quite new (an '06) and it rattles and squeaks like crazy.

They traded an F-150 King Ranch for it, and are regretting the choice. My guess is that they'll soon trade it in on a Cayenne or something similar very, very soon.

[Blue Fire]

50. My niece and her hubby just got a h2.

The big, fuel-wasting, air-polluting, road-hog piece of despicable shit. Can't wait to harass 'em when they visit this next summer.

Edited to say H2. Thats the huge piece-o-shit, right?

[DainBramaged]

51. H3 is based on the Chevy Colorado truck chassis

And if Chevy released it as the new Blazer. hundreds of thousands would be sold because the old V6 Blazers (mine included) struggled to get 20 MPG. And because 20MPG is more acceptable than 10MPG the masses would be happy. Ask anyone driving a Jeep Cherokee or Ford Escape. Or Toyota RAV4 or Honda lunch box for that matter.

[Blue Fire]

53. They get 6 MPG in town

and rolling downhill in neutral maybe 12 MPG on the highway. Personally, I have no respect for anybody who drives a large SUV....Hummer, Escalade, Excursion, or any other oversized, fuel wasting, air polluting, global warming piece of artificial testosterone. Greta and I want to get a few more years from our V-6 Windstar (It's paid for. Nice not having a monthly car payment!) and then see what's on the market for hybrids. Ford's new Edge looks kinda nice!

Think I mixed up the H2 and H3.

[DainBramaged]

55. Yes, the H3 is small, the H2 is a lump and it servers no purpose in today's world

Or any other for that matter. But when we put it (the one I drove) up for sale, it will draw the fools like a magnet in iron dust.

[CRF450]

58. You might have, cause the H3 is half the gas guzzler than the H2.

[CRF450]

59. Do they really weigh just 6,000lbs??

My 04 Dodge Dakota 4x4 quad cab (4 door) weighs right at that much and its smaller:shrug:

[DainBramaged]

63. 6001 with 5 gallons of gas

And you can feel every one of those pounds

[CRF450]

65. Man, thats just though to believe.

Is it just the horrible aerodynamics and size of the body that cuts the fuel milage? My Dakota almost gets 16mpg strickly driving in town and the route that I drive it in for my summer job. On the highway it'll get just over 20mpg.

[Initech]

64. Here is what is sad - I could lease a Hummer H2 for less than what I'm paying for my Altima.

:eyes: