Ways to help a bereaved family- any ideas?

[LeftyMom]

It looks like our friends and neighbors are going to lose a family member tonight or maybe tomorrow. They don't need meals, a few different fraternal, veterans and charity organizations they're involved with took care of that. But we're trying to think of something practical we can do to help them get through, because we know after a long hospitalization they're under a lot of stress. Any ideas?

[fizzgig]

1. maybe offer to tidy up the house or do dishes

if they have kids, offer to take them for a bit or walk the dogs, if they have them

that's the best i can come up with

[KitchenWitch]

2. Maybe see if Merry Maids or someone like that does gift certificates

or alternatively buy them a family pack of movie tickets and concessions vouchers. Or some other type of mental escape via entertainment thing.

[LeftyMom]

3. That's a good idea.

I'm sure they do, and the dying gentleman's wife and grown daughter are both disabled, so I'm sure the help would be a load off for them.

[MonkeyFunk]

4. I remember one of the nicest stories

from years ago. A mother of a few kids had died. The husband was, of course, distraught, and struggling to get through the funeral preparations. Many people had brought meals and flowers, and the usual.

But one friend showed up with some polish and a rag, and polished everybody's dress shoes. It was just something that a grieving father wouldn't think to get taken care of, so that all would look good at the funeral.

So not saying you should polish their shoes, but see if you can't find some task that might fall through the cracks, but would mean something to them if you could take care of it. Are relatives coming in for the funeral? Maybe offer to pick them up.

[lizziegrace]

7. I agree

sweep the walks, maybe see if you can wash the cars, clean up the lawn? :shrug:

[yellowdogintexas]

5. be certain someone is in the house during the visitation and funeral times

often robberies occur during these times because it is in the paper. A couple I know lost a baby and some of our Sunday School class members enlisted a group of our best high school age boys to occupy that house while the family was at the services. They were instructed to be sure it was very obvious there were people in the house: keep the TV on, walk around a lot in front of the windows, etc.

and yard work, if any needs doing, laundry, clean out refrigerator, etc.

[Fire Walk With Me]

6. Show up and just sit with them.

Good idea from the excellent film "Lars and the Real Girl".

[Bullwinkle925]

8. Just being there for them - offer to run errands.

A gentle hug, listening ear. Speak of the loved one in the present tense rather than the past tense.

[Xipe Totec]

9. It's not what you can do now that matters,

It's what you can do later.

When the crowds have left, and nothing is left but fading memories.

When others, feeling their obligation fulfilled, leave.

When they are alone.

Then, and only then, can you really help them by offering your company and your memories.