Lightning may hit my house on Friday night - a female gamer is joining our D&D group

[NewJeffCT]

My Friday night D&D group will have one of those almost mythical female gamers starting in a few days.

Granted, she is joining the group with her husband... but, it actually seems to be happening.

The group seems to be fairly normal, though. Three of the five guys in the group now are married with kids (including me), one other guy is fairly recently married with no kids, and the other guy is single.

[distantearlywarning]

1. We've been lucky.

Half of my group is female (including me, the host).

[DarkTirade]

2. I've actually known more girls who played D&D than guys.

Mostly because the guys who play D&D without girls tend to be such losers that I just don't ever get to know them... :P

Seriously though, I do know a fairly large amount of female gamers. And yet I've never actually played D&D... 'tis quite odd.

[NewJeffCT]

4. I've gamed with a couple of women over the years

very few & far between, though.

Had a great campaign that lasted about a year in real life from '98-'99 where a woman was one of the gamers (her boyfriend was in the group & she came aboard later) - she was the one female in a group of 10, though. Of the 9 guys, there were a few that were not all that adept, socially, though. (for example: we had one guy that briefly joined the group, but we booted him out because he was leering at the poor woman and making her uncomfortable - and, she's not the type to lightly complain.)

[DarkTirade]

7. I've known girls who were in groups of mostly girls before

maybe that's because they avoided guys like that. :P

There's a wide range of people who play nowadays. It's not as stigmatized as it was before. But with those who are socially inept like that, they'll often scare away any potential girl gamers.

[NewJeffCT]

9. I had asked about that on here over the summer

see my reply below - do women have that image of D&D players as pasty-faced and socially inept males who live in their parent's basement.

[DarkTirade]

12. That reputation is changing, but slowly.

And unfortunately, like many groups, the most noticable ones tend to be the ones who fit the worst stereotypes. The average people who happen to have a gaming hobby on the side aren't the noticable ones. The best way to change that perception is by using the normal ones and the quirky/geeky but not socially inept people (like myself) as examples. :)

[Crazy Dave]

3. My wife is the gamer

I'm a news and political geek

[underpants]

5. I think you can relax

I'm pretty sure God created D&D players to give him something funny to look at from time to time

:spank:

[MedleyMisty]

6. I don't do tabletop

but I do play MMORPGs.

There's plenty of female gamers. There'd be even more if the game industry would throw us a bone and have strong independent decently clothed and realistically proportioned female characters.

Actually most of the guilds I've been in during my time in WoW had more than a few married couples. Horde characters will sometimes flirt and kiss with any elf female characters I make but that's the worst gender-based treatment I get.

In our current guild it seems like most of the married couples also have small children.

A few weeks ago someone started trolling guild chat about "Why do adults with kids play this game?" and stuff. They got booted out of the guild pretty quickly. People like to troll the Sims 2 site like that too. I don't know if it's really little kids who think that as soon as you turn 18 you're not allowed to do anything fun ever again or if it's just sad little troll people with nothing better to do.

I don't get why people stereotype and look down on people who play RPGs or videogames or whatever, but then humans just suck like that and stereotype and look down on all kinds of groups.

I'd like to see some demographics on game players - I have a theory that it's mostly people around my age who grew up with Nintendo and Super Nintendo who just continued with their hobby.

[NewJeffCT]

8. I started a thread over the summer about gamers & women

It was related to another thread on the Wizards of the Coast forums (The company that makes the main D&D products) about female gamers based on a book called (I think) Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress - I can't check to D&D forums at work, though, since it's blocked. (the link is in Reply #11, though, if you're interested)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=6862987

a lot of the women that responded on the D&D forums made comments about the clothes/clothing as well. Or, lack of clothing, I should say.

[Marrah_G]

16. I sorta like the bad-ass skimpy outfits.....

[NewJeffCT]

19. In that thread I had linked to

One woman made a good point when some guys were whining about art depicting women as not being in cleavage-baring chainmail bikinis...

Some of the guys were saying how it would distract men on the battlefield, but a woman shot down that argument saying that would female soldiers in Iraq wear revealing body armor to distract insurgents, or would they be just as armored up as the men? Kind of shot down the guys on that one.

[NewJeffCT]

21. you mean like this?

or is this what you had in mind?


I can't say that I mind them...

but, I understand why women would.

[Marrah_G]

22. I like them! I know others get upset but most of the female gamers I know have no problem with it

Now Lineage 2, that had some killer costumes.

[NewJeffCT]

26. I'm not really into online games

I'd probably become too addicted and never see my wife & daughter and I'd look up one day and my beard would be down to the floor and they'd have moved to China a decade ago.

[DarkTirade]

11. Oh yeah, most heavy duty gamers are kids of the Nintendo generation.

And MMOs do tend to attract more women than many other genres.

I have a long-standing thing that started back in the days of first person shooters, where I always have at least one female character. Just kind of a running gag. How did it start? Well, first time I played Quake 2, I looked at the character choices. We had male: big as a tank. Female : about the size of your average twig. Hmm... if you're gonna be getting shot at, which one would you rather be? I picked the one with the smaller cross-section. And it came in handy because everyone else played a male, so if I shot somebody in the face, they knew it was me even before the 'You have been killed by Tirade' message popped up. :) Nice to have a signature appearance. So ever since then I have at least one female character in any game, even if it doesn't make any difference gameplay-wise.

Anyhow, long story short, the female characters in MMOs I've enjoyed the most were the ones that didn't look like medieval prostitutes. In EverQuest, my Froglok paladin. A female necro/warrior (clothing covered her head to toe) in Guild Wars. When I played a female elementalist in Guild Wars (short skirts and low-cut tops), some fifteen year old kid tried to hit on me. 'Twas somewhat amusing, but a bit annoying. And I can certainly see how that might get annoying to a real girl.

[yellowdogintexas]

24. I have never played D & D but I play Heroes of Might and Magic and WOW

and enjoy them both. Our whole family plays them actually

[Orsino]

10. I think any long-running group benefits from diversity.

The only role-playing I get to do these days is with a mostly-female group. They had a good vibe going, but extended trust to me and to one other guy. It's good.

[NewJeffCT]

20. Save having women at the table

the groups I've gamed with have been fairly diverse in terms of ethnicity. The last time I gamed regularly before these past few months was with a group that had two African-American gamers and one guy of Hispanic descent.

And, that group had a few gay men previously, and a few Asian guys as well.

Just women had been hard to come by...

[Beer Snob-50]

13. guys who play d&d get women

must be pity sex.

[NewJeffCT]

18. Like I say

I think my wife lost a bet or something.

My ex-wife, too.

[Marrah_G]

14. HEY!

I am a female gamer- I just don't play paper and dice anymore due to location and time. But I used two and there was another wopman in y group too!@

We are real dammit! ~WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~

:cry:

[ThomCat]

15. How about openly gay games.

:(

I've games with lots and lots of people, and it's standard roleplaying for the horny straight boys to play characters that flirt with every female NPC and find the brothel in every town. But I simply wrote on my character sheet that my character wasgay, even if there was no sign of it in the game, people get defensive.

:wtf:

It often seems like roleplaying is supposed to be a hobby for straight boys only.

[NewJeffCT]

17. My old group had a few gay gamers before I joined up

I don't think they were openly gay at the gaming table in real life and there characters didn't really exhibit sexual tendencies one way or the other in-game.

They also had a guy that gamed with them full-time until he joined the priesthood. Kind of odd considering all the religious group that denounced D&D back in the 80s.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

31. Why would anyone care if your character was gay?

More female NPC for the horny straight boys.

[NewJeffCT]

33. they're probably just intolerant bigots overall

and that extends to the players.

One guy that I used to game with said something that made a lot of sense once - when it comes to role-playing games, most gamers are just playing themselves in a fantasy setting.

Sure, they may be a heroic version of themselves, but they're basically themselves. So, a bigot IRL means a bigot in game.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

35. Meh, how boring......I never understood that

I mean, why have such lack of imagination?

I played a female half-elf druid once (of course I had about a 16 for charisma). Granted, I have no doubt I created the character out of some psuedo-sexual frustration at the time, but at least it wasn't so obvious!!!! I was lucky enough to play with folks who were willing to come up with something interesting when they RPG'ed at least.

Good lord, it's a world with orcs, and dwarfs.......it's NOT REAL folks. Have fun with it instead of just being your typical self.

[NewJeffCT]

36. but, even though you're a fantasy character

Your personality is still you. Sure, you may be a bit different in game - more outgoing, more suave, more heroic, etc - but, it is a heroism, suaveness, etc based upon your own personality. The actions of your character are shaped by what you think the character should do.

As they say, "Wherever you go, there you are."

[FloridaJudy]

23. We're not mythical

I'm a gamer too! I haven't played with dice and other gamers in years - children and jobs get in the way - but computers work too. I had a kick-butt Chaotic Good sorcerer called "Baba Yaga the Inexorable" that I remember fondly.

[NewJeffCT]

27. did she have a hut to live in, too?

Baba Yaga's Hut was an artifact from old school D&D.

[TheMightyFavog]

25. Most of the officers of the gaming club where I went to college were female.

In my experience, a lot of female anime and manga fans tend to gravitate towards the gaming hobby.

I still remember the time a group of these girls read a particularly explicit yaoi manga (Japanese Gay romance comic books marketed towards straight women which range from being rated PG-13 to XXX.) out loud (Including sound effects) while waiting for one of our meetings to start. It really creeped the guys out, including one guy who ended up shouting "I like boobies!" at the top of his lungs.

Then one of the girls informed him of the existence of transgender yaoi.

He ran out of the room screaming.

It was funny as all hell.

[NewJeffCT]

28. there are way more female gamers now than there were 25 years ago

Granted, it might be that women were 4% of the hobby in 1980 and are now 10-15%, but it's certainly a noticeable difference.

But, I get the impression that women have moved from other forms of fantasy/sci fi and into gaming.

[Lady Freedom]

29. We are out here.

:evilgrin:

[NewJeffCT]

30. and probably mounted on a unicorn, too

I won't believe it until she shows up with her husband tomorrow night.

[Lady Freedom]

43. How did ya know??hehe

Keep us posted.

[NewJeffCT]

44. Got an email from her husband this morning

saying his wife has not been feeling well this week and might not make it tonight.

Of course, when I met up with the guy a 5-6 weeks ago, his wife was also not feeling well.

So, I'm beginning to suspect that she could indeed be mythical. :hide:

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

32. We had one when I played about five years back.

Cute as hell and would tell some wild stories that could make a sailor blush, which made her RPGing interesting.

[NewJeffCT]

34. I played an April Fool's joke on my old DM once...

he always had big gaming groups, and I had always been the one to try to find new gamers...

so, one April 1st, I emailed him that our office had two new women that had just transferred up from our office down South, and that they had seen a dragon bitmap I had set as my desktop background, and that we had gotten to chatting and it turned out they were into D&D. And, being a guy, I said they were reasonably attractive, but not gorgeous, but they had great Southern accents.

He's normally a pretty crafty guy and I expected him to email me back saying, "Yeah right, April Fool's, ha ha ha."

But, nope, he fell for it hook, line & sinker. Just the thought of having a woman in the group made him lose his otherwise good sense.

[BarenakedLady]

37. I'm one!

Well a gamer. I don't play D&D tabletop, but did try the online mmorpg. I'm a WoW chick.



Heck, I even draw my characters.

[NewJeffCT]

38. cool - good drawing, too

you're supposed to have cleavage & midriff-baring armor, though.

just kidding, of course.

[BarenakedLady]

39. True

actually her midriff is bare, she's just to short. LoL.

My main is a little sexier.

[NewJeffCT]

40. Nice

we had a DUer dress up similarly for Halloween a few months back.

[GreenPartyVoter]

41. Hey, we femlae gamers aren't _that_ rare. There were several in the gaming club at college

[NewJeffCT]

42. crossdressing men, I tell ya

just kidding.

I know women gamers aren't that
Probably because most of my gaming in the 90s was with a large group of guys and some women might not want to be the only female in a group of 10 or 11.

[NewJeffCT]

45. UPDATE - she might remain a myth

Her husband emailed me this morning to say that she had not been feeling well and might not be able to make it tonight.

When I was supposed to meet them 5-6 weeks back, I got the same story. She had been sick and was not able to make it.

So, I'm beginning to suspect that she could indeed be a myth.

[CreekDog]

46. I thought you had a rule: "No girls allowed"

:rofl: