WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN

[trof]

(AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN) To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied. "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"

"No Way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"

Quick, send this on to 10 people within the next 5 minutes. Nothing will happen if you don't, but if you do, 10 people will be laughing

This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm

[dolo amber]

1. Too true

Especially #4, unfortunately...x(

Thanks Trof, some days we need little reminders like this. :)

[camero]

2. That is a great story

Thanks for sharing it. :)

[trof]

3. Wish I had written it.

Came in my e-mail a minute ago.
Too true.

[Missy Vixen]

4. Okay, we don't have kids

but our neighbor called today, and her 23-month-old was doing the air-raid siren scream in the background.

There's a special place in Heaven for good parents. (I'm also hoping that Miss Rosie Posey cried herself out and fell asleep for a few hours, giving Mom a break....)

Julie

p.s. I'd also like to give thanks for the young lady at the grocery store the other day with the Camp Fire Mints for sale :eyes:

[Pithlet]

5. Very true.

No one can call my house without hearing the evidence in the background. I have two boys, one will be 3 in two weeks, the other is almost 4 months.

[greatauntoftriplets]

6. Thanks, trof, that is great.

I talked to the triplets' mother early this afternoon (just before their nap). They had hauled every blanket, comforter, pillow and stuffed animal from their beds downstairs to the living room to play "Goldilocks and the Three Bears". To prepare for naptime, she had hauled everything upstairs to make up the beds again. Even though separated by stairs, walls and a floor, I could hear them shrieking happily over the monitor. Bedlam occurred when the doorbell rang, the dog started barking and the trio of mirth started shrieking even louder because their grandfather was there.

And she wouldn't trade it for a minute. However, this morning she did register them for preschool beginning next September. A half day two days a week -- they will be almost four. I am certain that their mother will enjoy the time to herself. Hopefully the preschool teacher will enjoy them as much as we do.

[fudge stripe cookays]

7. To annoy the living crap out of me! n/t