Today's Fake News

[originalpckelly]

Energizer Bunny accused of battery.


This is what happens when you take his little drum away.

Romney asscrack new diamond seam?
Researchers have discovered a new method of producing artificial diamonds that look exactly like real ones. It's a complicated process of inserting a lump of coal into Mitt Romney's ass and waiting for an hour. His uptightness is capable of exerting so much pressure on the coal that it saves the usually 48 hours needed to produce an artificial diamond in a traditional pressure chamber.



This message brought to you by GOP in '08, because 200 years of old white men was not enough.

Diet Breakthrough Hits Midwest
By lowering the core body temperature enough to force the human body to burn calories needed to warm it back up, one loses weight according to Dr. Liar (pronounced lee-arh). Dr. Liar's new diet will hit store shelves in his new book "How to Transfer Your Fat to My Wallet in 30 Days or Less."