Gratuitous Bragging Thread

[GregorStocks]

Just brag. Rules:
1. Brag.
2. No insults.
3. If you want to lie, go ahead. If you're such a loser that your self esteem will be improved by lying about your accomplishments to total strangers, you probably need it.

I'll kick it off:
(And yes, this is true)
I got a 1480 on my SATs at age 13!!!!!!!!!!

[DS1]

1. I mastered Adobe Illustrator's Pen tool in under 15 minutes

:hi:

[BlackVelvetElvis]

62. I don't believe you!!!

I'm teaching that software this semester. I've never heard of anyone doing that!

[DS1]

69. Fine, don't.

I'm having a blast with paths. :hi:

[Loonman]

2. I scored a 102% on a Bio exam

Threw the grade curve off and was nearly lynched after school.



Also won 2 science awards that I never picked up. Didn't see the point, really.

[Langis]

3. I got a 1600 on my SATs at age 10!!!!!!!

I'm just trying out this lie thing you are speaking of :P

[DS1]

6. I got 1632, threw off the country, had to move to the Cayman Islands

[LynneSin]

4. I'm known to be an excellent kisser

I master the tongue action from practice on a teddy bear when I was young. I KID YOU NOT!!!

[KCDem]

8. not your hand?

That was my practice buddy.

You know, I liked my hand better than most guys; much less slobbery.

[LynneSin]

13. I had won a Teddy Bear that was 3 feet long

this was when I was 8 or 9.

I'd sleep with him next to me every night, but I was so Naive back then. I just figured all you do with a boy was kiss him.

[TheMightyFavog]

5. I onece blew a fart so rank..

that it cleared out an entire basement!

Point Beer will do that to you.

[leanings]

56. After three days

of a diet consisting solely of bratwurst and beer (Munich, Octoberfest, '97), I once cleared out a 20 foot gap in the line waiting to board the plane. The young lady immediately in front of me ran away retching and gagging.

Ahem...just thought I'd share.

[KCDem]

7. I graduated HS 5th out of almost 600 students.

Only reason I didn't get 3rd was that I was yearbook editor, and that didn't rank on the honor scale, so two other snot-nosed kids snuck in ahead of me. :mad:

That was back in the days when I was smart.

[GOPisEvil]

9. I was an Eagle Scout at 15.

I would have made it at 14, but I took a year off from Scouting following my move from Hawaii to Texas.

[GregorStocks]

10. Now isn't this fun????

[populistmom]

11. I was carded two weeks ago

(And not by a guy. I'm turning 32 in a week.)

Oh, and finally, I'm comfortably wearing a pair of size 10 pants today and feeling like a hottie!

Oh, I got a 1230 on my S.A.T.'s at 17.

[KCDem]

12. yeah, me too!

I was so thrilled about it that it had its own thread.

Happy almost-32. I'll be 33 at the end of May. Sigh.

Strangely, I don't remember my SAT scores, although I aced the math portion of the ACT.

[populistmom]

16. You math genius, you.

I did much better on the verbal. (I tend to rather suck at math.) I hope I'm still getting carded in another 8 months!!! I don't drink much, so it might be 8 months before I get the opportunity LOL.

[Wickerman]

14. I taught Karl Rove everything he knows about dirty politics

way back when I lived in Texas. Sadly for the Republican party I found Satan and became a democrat and moved to Minnesota.

is this what you meant?

[kmla]

15. Last time tested, I had a relatively high IQ...

...one that put me in the top 2% of all test takers.

Honest.

[qwertyMike]

17. I learned how to program

my VCR in less than a year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[GregorStocks]

18. See, now I know THAT is a lie!!!

[SOteric]

19. I don't have cellulite. Not anywhere. Never did.

And I aced every segment of my SAT's at 17.

[BigMcLargehuge]

20. I can walk and chew gum at the same time

I rock

[FatSlob]

21. I had dinner with

both Boomer Esiason and Ken Anderson...at my house!

[Endangered Specie]

22. I have a 4.0 in College!

[Richardo]

23. I'm responsible for the Will Rogers avatar!

:-)

[Endangered Specie]

25. Hmm... wonder if Im responsible for the Enterprise avatar?

[KCDem]

24. I kissed Will Pitt!

But, from what I've heard, it sounds like half this board could claim the same thing. ;)

[VelmaD]

28. Yes but did he...

kiss you back? ;-)

[KCDem]

32. actually, he kissed me.

;)

I guess I mistyped it the first time.

No tongue involved... my husband was around somewhere. Alas.

[VelmaD]

34. Your loss...

Stupid husbands, spoiling all the fun. ;-)

[Lizz612]

26. I scored higher on my Math than my Verbal

SAT, 730 math 660 verbal for a total of 1390 at age 17. (just in case you couldn't tell by my terribel speeling!)
I also got a 730 on my SAT II Bio! Oh yeah! I kick that test's ASS! And a 5 on my AP Bio test the first time, but thats not as hard as the 730.

[Rabrrrrrr]

27. I shut down the truck line at my GM plant twice one summer

Once by accidentally leaning on a safety wire, and once by - get this, I always laugh at this one:


accidentally releasing the trolley that a truck cab was attached to, on an incline, so that the trolley was going really fast when it grabbed the next trolley lock, which stopped the trolley but not the cab which was thusly tossed to the floor. HA HA HA!! CRASH SMASH BANG!!

Both times, egineers and supervisors appeared as though they had been beamed in. The plant had miles of aisles and line on it, and I don't know how those guys could arrive in mere seconds. But, hell, shut down a line at a cost of $50K a minute, they come running.

[VelmaD]

29. I won silver and bronze medals...

in an international piano competition when I was in 8th and 9th grade.

on edit: And since so many people are commenting on their test scores. On my GRE I got 750 (out of a possible 800) on the Verbal, 750 on the Analytical, and 720 on the Math section.

[sangh0]

30. I haven't had a sip of alcohol in years

and I'm not an alcoholic. Coincidentally, I haven't had sex in years, either, and I'm not a sexaholic (obviously)

[Donkeyboy75]

67. NO, you're supposed to BRAG!!

:)

[DU GrovelBot]

31. ## Support Democratic Underground! ##

RUN C:\GROVELBOT.EXE
 
This week is our first quarter 2004 fund drive.
Please take a moment to donate to DU. Thank you
for your support.
 
- An automated message from the DU GrovelBot

Click here to donate.

[KCDem]

33. that Grovelbot is too damned vain!

Sheesh! ;)

[Rabrrrrrr]

38. yakkity yakkity yak yak yak

always it's the same thing. "I'm automated" and "DU fund drive" and yak yak yak yak.

Run, C:Grovelbot.exe, Run!!

[Tripper11]

35. I've survived cancer!

Particularly leukemia...so far! It's all I got, but I think worth bragging rights! B-)

[Richardo]

37. Man! Brag all you want...

Congratulations :toast:

[KCDem]

39. that is absolutely awesome!

Congrats to you and all of your loved ones!

[bratcatinok]

46. Congratulations!

My ex-husband is surviving leukemia too. He has chronic lymphocitic leukemia and still undergoes chemo monthly. We found out about it in 1996 but it didn't act up until July 4th, 1997 when his nose started bleeding and wouldn't quit.

It's a tough roe to hoe so my hats off to you!

[TEXASYANKEE]

36. I have a nice phone voice.

Which is weird, because I hate to talk on the phone.

[TrogL]

40. I'm officially responsible for a README for a major software ap

No, I can't tell you what one.

[Amaya]

41. My brag

Lets see... I talked my way out of a speeding ticket and I was going over 90 miles an hour :) Also, I have an IQ of 167 :P or so I was told.

[populistmom]

50. I've found it easy to get out of speeding tickets too

But my IQ isn't that high. It's somewhere in the 120-130 range (if I could remember, but again, my IQ isn't that high).

:pals:

[terrya]

42. I have a very nice ass. There, I said it.

:-)

Terry

[Braden]

43. I've never paid for sex

directly.

[geniph]

44. I do the best cold reads of Shakespeare of anyone I know

trouble is, my performance never improves from the first table reading. :-( But boy, can I blow 'em away at the first read-through!

[geniph]

45. Oh yeah, and I got a Nobel Prize

in ... Real Estate! Yeah, that's it, that's the ticket!

[Ilsa]

47. Well, this is considered a little weird for the United States,

but I nursed my first child past age three. Second child past age four.
And yes, I consider that an accomplishment, especially in the US.

[populistmom]

49. Good for you!

I never made it to 3. I either was pregnant again and too dang sore or just plain tired out by 2& 1/2.

[voice of reason]

48. I've been stoned daily since the day I got out of the Army

. . . in 1988.

And still managed to get a bachelors and masters . . . and a job.

v.o.r.

[YouMustBeKiddingMe]

51. I can say nuclear

[earthman dave]

52. I am incredibly modest and humble

Totally self-aware, confident, good looking, and I never brag. Oh yeah, and I'm the absolute ruler of the known universe.

[woofless]

53. I am the only biker I know to have hit a deer

at 60mph on a Moto Guzzi and lived to tell about it. The deer was decapitated and I have never been as strong as that day but I am still here dammit. AND I positively detest deer. Rats with hooves....damn nuisance. Grumble, grumble, huff, huff, ppffffffff.

[northofdenali]

71. Wow! That is really something to brag about!

I know a lot of bikers and the last one to hit anything that big was only doing 18 mph - it was a baby moose, and both survived, but the bike didn't. The only thing I've hit at 60 was a dragonfly - all I can say is thank heaven for helmets!

My brag - my sweetie & I took a combined second honeymoon and midlife crisis bike ride from Fairbanks to Florida - it was incredible!

[Edge]

54. I am known as a God here in Minnesota.

:D

[Seldona]

55. I have saved over a dozen lives.

Lifeguard when I was in high school and college.

Oh, and I returned a wallet once I found on the ground.

Turns out it was an old guy on SS, and that would really have messed him up to not get that money back.

I get off on helping people. Nothing makes me feel better.

[scarlet_owl]

57. I have a 160 IQ.

Never made anything out of myself though.

[alittlelark]

58. I met John Kerry last summer 2 houses down from my dad's

in Albuquerque. I had just come back from our cabin in Pagosa Springs - 4 hour drive - with my kids. I was scroungy and probably didn't smell so good, But I saw the signs, went up to the door, and ended up meeting Kerry and getting a picture.

Cool.

[VOX]

59. I've fallen from a second-story window and broken nothing!

At my college dorm -- I was drunk as a lord, and landed on a very forgiving patch of turf. I was out cold for awhile, and had a mighty sore tailbone and a sprained wrist, but I survived. (Yes, I was taken to the ER!)

I can also play a mean blues harp!

[Shanty Oilish]

60. I'm in love

I have good dreams
and nobody tells me what to do.

[BritishHuman]

61. SOteric thinks I'm the bees knees

Beat that.

:evilgrin:

[trof]

64. Bees knees? Well 23 skidoo and

So's your old man.

[woofless]

70. Oh Yeah?

Well my Kathy thinks I am the cat's ass, so there. (Ass beats knees doesn't it?)

[skippysmom]

63. I got a perfect score on the analytical section of the GRE

You know, the section with all the logic problems.

I also passed the test for teen Jeopardy when I was 16, but didn't make it on the air.

[MrScorpio]

65. I've had THREE Menage-A-Trois

The women, they cannot keep their hands off of me.

[Nlighten1]

66. In the Army my nickname was "Guns"

because I fired expert with almost every weapon I used. For those that don't know, firing expert is the top of the pile. My aim was so good that I had Generals and Colonels coming to watch me shoot. I routinely shot 40/40 on the 300 meter range with my M16A2. With my M203 I could nail a silhouette at 400M. This is especially freaky considering the M203 is considered an "area" weapon since it only has to get pretty close to the target to be considered a "hit". I made sure to bean the silhouette for effect.

Surprisingly I could not hit the broad side of a barn with a .45. I never could figure that out.

[Donkeyboy75]

68. Combined 2180 on the GRE,

but my biggest accomplishment is having a wife who is WAY out of my league (and has econimcally supported us while I'm in grad school) :)

Oh yeah, and my dog thinks I'm God.