Maxims you would give to a Freshman entering College

[Taverner]

Here's a few of mine

1 - Never EVER mix drinks together. If you start with Tequila and Jager Bombs, end with Tequila and Jager Bombs. Do not start the night with beer, switch to scotch and end on Tequila and Jager bombs. You will die and your head will explode.

2 - Condoms work. Use them.

3 - Vomiting in the urinal only means you have to clean it in the morning. Take the extra 3 steps to make it to the sink or toilet.

[av8rdave]

1. Here are some of mine

1. Well rested is well tested. Don't sacrifice a good night's sleep. It's worth hours of studying
(my son tells me it was a great piece of advice).

2. Playboy actually DOES have good articles.

3. If you can't make it to the bathroom, the washing machine is the next best appliance to vomit in. The pump and plumbing can handle the chunks.

(My nephew and my son, who go to totally separate colleges in distant states both told me this. I don't want to know how they know.)

4. Be polite and friendly to the campus police. They're good friends to have.

5. When choosing campus activities, make sure at least one is something athletic/physical. You'll sleep and study better.

[Cant trust em]

2. Get one of those bottle opener key chains

You will always be in demand at parties.

[quip]

6. Not wearing bras and wearing thin shirts works, too

Not that I'd advocate that....

:hide:

[taterguy]

3. Use your education, don't let your education use you

Not original, heard it from the Dead Kennedys guitarist when I was a college freshman

[momophile]

4. never leave your drink and then go back to it;

use the campus security escort services at night;

lock your doors;

watch your girlfriends backs and have them watch yours.

[LynzM]

5. None of mine have to do with vomiting...

1 - Get some sleep and eat some food that's good for you.

2 - Almost nothing is as big a deal as it seems at the time. (see #1)

3 - Pregnancy and HIV are 2 exceptions to #2. Be safe.

4 - Once in a while, blow off what's "important" for what's "fun" ... those are the memories that last.

5 - Don't feel obligated to keep your freshman year friends. You'll all grow into new people over the next few years.

[raccoon]

15. Herpes is an exception to #2. nt

[Connonym]

61. so's my older sister

at least according to family legend

[Bunny]

7. Along the lines of #1: Never mix the grape and the grain.

Don't think you can drink wine and beer on the same night. Recipe for disaster.

[Taverner]

8. I've been OK mixing those two

Again, this is good wine and good beer. Hamms and Boons might not mix so well...

[MassLiberal]

45. another one in this category

My dad told me never to drink anything I could see through (specifically, grain alcohol, I believe).

[geardaddy]

9. Here's mine

If you're attracted to the weird girl, don't listen to your friends or others. She's cooler than they are.

[midnight armadillo]

10. #1: AVOID CREDIT CARDS

#1: Student loans are bad enough, and the avg college student graduates with, what, over $1k in credit card debt? Live via cash and keep a CC for an emergency. Running out of pizza at 2AM is NOT an emergency.

#2: When out and about after partying, keep your wits about you or be with someone sober. I have a small faded scar on my arm from a knife mugging while learning this lesson.

#3: Study something that really interests you. If you worry about post-graduation work, add a minor in something more practical or get some practical work experience.

#4: Philosophy courses will rock your world. I suggest a second major.

[Pacifist Patriot]

14. Stellar suggestions!

[qb]

11. When partying, resolve to stay in control.

You can do this if you set your mind to it. It is much better to maintain a reasonable buzz and remember the fun you had than to black out and feel like shit the entire next day.

[BOSSHOG]

12. Take no more then 12 hours of classes your first semester

Ease into a college study regimen with a relatively easy load.

[LibDemAlways]

54. I agree, but high schools today are so

college-like with all of the emphasis on AP courses, college courses taught in high schools, that many of the kids near me find college easier.

High school has moved away from a mix of the academic and social to be more about building a resume to get into a prestigious college.

[Pacifist Patriot]

13. A few of mine.

1. Trust me. He's not that cute in the morning.
2. The academics really do ratchet up more than a few notches. Study!
3. The "freshman fifteen" is not a myth. Spend more time in the gym than the dining hall.
4. Whatever you do...do not try to eliminate the smell of vomit in your carpet with a liberal dose of Ann Taylor perfume. It does not work!

[LostinVA]

16. Regarding #4

EEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWw

[Pacifist Patriot]

23. I suspect there is a small corner of VA that still smells of vomit and AT perfume.

[Taverner]

19. Ahhh but having the house dog do their duty in that spot does kill the stench

Of course, then it smells like puppy shit...

[pokerfan]

17. Manage your time

You will find that you only have maybe three hour long courses per day. Make use of the time in between classes by going to a library or somewhere quiet to study. Every hour of study that you can get in during the day frees an hour in the evening or on the weekend for hanging out with friends.

Get to know your professors and make sure that they know you. Don't count on being able to study in the dorms.

Make use of the gyms. My school has a student rec center that is better than most clubs. Take interesting PE classes. I took fencing, rock climbing and scuba diving. Made for interesting breaks in the day.

Don't study too much, don't party too much. Try to find a balance between the two.

Miyagi: You remember lesson about balance?
Daniel: Yeah.
Miyagi: Lesson not just karate only. Lesson for whole life. Whole life have a balance. Everything be better. Understand?

[Rabrrrrrr]

18. 1. Anything less than 16 credits is for wusses. :-)

2. Don't use a credit card. Ever. For anything, except the rarest of emergencies.

3. Study more than you think need to, party less than you feel you should.

4. Join a club or activity.

5. Don't live at home for at least year. Preferably, go to a college far away from your home so that you don't have any choice but not to live at home.

6. No matter field you are in, math and science classes are your friend and you should take some - they will serve you well in the future.

7. Every time you bitch and piss and moan because "some fucking class" has "abso-fucking-lutely nothing to do with my future job", you should have someone hit you hard in the face with an anvil.

8. In re: #7, you are there FOR AN EDUCATION, not job training. If all you want is job training, go to a fucking tech school, and stop bothering the people who are there for an education.

9. In re: #7 and #8 - an educated person is well-rounded in fields of study, knows the classics of literature and music and art, understands how to use math, knows scientific method, has a handle on rhetoric and oratory, knows a smidgen of philosophy and important historical events and trends, knows how to use tools, learns to enjoy fine wine and good food.

10. If you're a guy, go get yourself a GOOD - not cheap, crappy, JC Penney piece of shit - suit, from a place that will measure you in more than five places and tailor it to fit your body. A black one. Or, if you must have color, go gray. If you can afford it, get a bespoke suit. But, if you can afford a bespoke suit, you've already been trained well about having a suit, and probably have many already anyway and you can stop reading now. You will need that suit many times. With that suit, buy two WHITE french cuff dress shirts, one good pair of cufflinks (something related to your field is study, perhaps), a pair of expensive black leather dress shoes (brown is verboten, because it's not professional) that you will take care of and keep shined, two non-loud ties, and a beard/mustache trimmer (if you wear a beard or mustache). You will, henceforth, for the rest of your life, wear only a suit to funerals, weddings, job interviews, and you will occasionally wear it on a date, even after you're married. You will never, ever chew gum, drink cheap booze, drink anything out of a plastic cup, wear any baseball hat, or scratch your balls in public while you wear this suit, and you will have it, and your shirts, professionally dry cleaned, and you will keep them pressed and fresh at all times. You will also buy a suit bag for when you travel.

11. In re: #7, 8, 9, and 10 - you are an adult now, so act like one. Have drunken, vomiting fun at the parties and rock concerts all you want, but whenever you're outside that milieu, act like an adult.

12. Do all your reading.

13. Get to know your professors, and make sure you stand out. If you want to go to grad school, you will need their recommendations. Also, professors are cool people, and you should get to know them.

14. Make friends.

15. ENJOY THE HELL OUT OF IT!! It's the last time that other people will cook, clean, and take care of things for you, and it's a wonderful, wonderful experience. Get everything out of it you can.

[XemaSab]

20. Here's mine:

List ALL the classes you will need to complete your degree, including major classes, minor classes, and GE requirements. Write it all on one piece of paper and tape it behind the door to your room.

Sort your classes into easy classes, medium classes, and hard classes based on amount of studying you will need to do per night for each class. Take into consideration which classes have a lot of math, reading, essays, or other homework. Also list which classes are prerequisites for other classes.

Take a sheet of lined notebook paper and break it up into 8 blocks, one for each semester.

Fill it in so you have an idea of which classes you will be taking for the next 4 years. Break up the hard classes, classes with a lot of math, etc. so you're not swamped. Tape this sheet behind your door next to the other paper.

Every semester cross off the classes you've completed and revisit your semester schedule.

I thrashed around for a few semesters before I did this, and from a focus/prioritization/organization standpoint, it's HUGH, especially if you feel like you're stuck in an overwhelming and endless degree program.

Also, set aside time for studying, take good notes, and take advantage of study groups. The best study group I was ever a part of involved reading through the class notes day by day, and discussing the material. What one person didn't get in the notes, another person may have gotten, and it's a great chance to find out what concepts you're still hazy on before the exam.

Finally, set aside designated play time too. Having a really structured week helped me stay on track when the going got rough.

[triguy46]

21. 1. Wash your hands as often as Monk...

2. If female, do NOT accept a drink that someone walks up to you with.
3. College is harder than HS. You will have to study, believe it or not.
4. Follow directions on exams.
5. Do assigned homework and reading.
6. If you're interested in a job when you graduate, go to the campus Career Services department in your sophomore year and follow their directions.
7. You do not know everything, allow others to help you.
8. Getting drunk will not make you more popular or make you feel better about yourself.
9. Neither a borrower nor a lender be.
10. Balance your checkbook.
11. Do not open up new credit card accounts and max them out.

Is this enough or should I continue?

[TheCentepedeShoes]

63. After reading all up to now

I like yours best.
In my day, don't recall an issue with accepting drinks from others or problems with credit cards. I think most guys were basically trustworthy even if they did want to get into your pants and the most common credit card was a gas card and gas was about 35 cent/gallon.
BIG issue with drinking too much (the stories I could tell about my frosh roomie, didn't make her more popular)
If I would add, keep a balanced perspective. Not every setback means "they" are out to get you, not every "win" means you're the greatest thing since...whatever.

[LynneSin]

22. I'll defer to Droz from PCU (well delivered by Jeremy Pivan)

Droz: Want some advice?
Tom: Well, yeah.
Droz: Well, here's all you need to know. Classes: nothing before eleven. Beer: it's your best friend, you drink a lot. Women? You're a freshman, so it's pretty much out of the question. Will you have a car?
Tom: Uh, no.
Droz: Someone on your floor will. Find them and make friends with them on the first day.

[TheMightyFavog]

24. Stay the hell away from cheap Fortified wines.

Taylor Port, Mad Dog 20/20, Wild Irish Rose, Even Manischiweitcz. You'll puke purple and have the hangover of the Gods.

That, and Life is too short to drink cheap shitty booze. Spend the extra money on good imported and domestic Beer instead of cheap shit like Natural Light. And most importantly, when it comes to alcohol, don't be afraid to try something new! That's how I discovered Schwelmer Alt, Sake, and the Brandy Old Fashioned Sour. (Yes, this proves beyond a doubt that I am a Wisconsinite.)

[liberaltrucker]

36. And a liberal elitist

:toast:

[rockymountaindem]

46. Woah. Woah. WOAH.

Manichewitz is *great* times.

[TheMightyFavog]

57. Bad Expereince with the Manischewietz.

I once beer bonged one of the smaller bottles as a dare. Bad idea. I ended up pretending to marry two female friends of mine, laughed so hard during a Denis Leary video that my friends said that I was on the floor doing an impersonation of a cement mixer, almost got written by an RA up for singing a badly mangled version of Hava Nagilia after quiet hours in the bathroom, prayed at the great Porcelain altar, and woke up round about 1:30 the next day with the worst hangover of my entire life.

Never Again.

[LiberalEsto]

25. Here's my mom's advice

Don't get pregnant
Don't get arrested
Don't get addicted to drugs.

I told my girls the same thing.

[Pacifist Patriot]

28. I managed two of the three.

Though I must say I was never booked and formally charged.

[trackfan]

26. Plan your schedule so that you will get the maximum number of days off per term.

Once you experience the freedom of having a weekday off, you'll realize all else is folly, and never really want to join the workforce with the rest of those "weekers". You'll realize that your own freedom is the most important thing there is, and you'll spend the rest of your life trying to maximize your free time.

[Pacifist Patriot]

29. Spring Term Freshman Year: 12pm - 1pm every Friday

That was my academic schedule, I shit you not. The professor decided he'd rather imagine us lying out on the colonnade reading his assignments. My college had a 12 week / 12 week / 6 week schedule. So Spring term was always a bit of a joke. You took two classes tops. I could only get into one and the professor wanted a light load as much as we did. Ironically, it was one of the best classes I ever took and probably retained the most.

[madinmaryland]

27. Maybe this maxim, for a son....

:hide:

[TZ]

30. Tsk

I understand temeah is gone away for the weekend..How sorry he would be to know he missed THAT! Oh well, his soul brother DuStrange will probably pass it along....:D

[Dr. Strange]

31. I can't believe it took 27 posts before someone did this.

I would have done it earlier, but I was working on my LiteBrite project.

:thumbsup:

[Orsino]

49. Funny thing is, I was just about to post: "Feb. '06. that was a good one."

And I don't read the magazine. :tinfoilhat:

How did they know, Scully?

[BreweryYardRat]

32. Try making friends, even if you're horrible at it.

Not having friends means having nobody to share an off-campus apartment with (leading to extortionate dorm fees), and no party invites.

I'm nearing the end of my junior year, and so far, college hasn't been much more pleasant than high school, because I suck at making friends.

[harmonicon]

35. dude, it's easy to make freinds!

what do you study? I made loads of friends who were in my classes, or just in my department. Most of my best friends I met at the coffee shop where I went to study. Yeah, I know coffee costs a lot of money at a coffee shop compared to at home, but you'll run into people there taking the same classes as you, or just in your department, they'll introduce you to people, etc. It also doesn't hurt to just say "hi" when you see someone you recognize from somewhere and you think might be interesting (not necessarily someone you're looking to have sex with ..... god, I did very little of that in college, because I actually did work my ass off at studying). I'm still friends with people I met the first week of college - no joke (started in '97).

[DarkTirade]

33. Never drink large amounts of hard liquor after eating nothing but a few cheetos over the last

13 hours.

I learned that one the hard way.

Not only was that the only time I ever threw up from drinking AND the only time I had a hangover... I also had to clean out the sink the next morning because the cheeto bits wouldn't go down the drain on their own.

Not pleasant.

Good party though.

[liberaltrucker]

34. Check the bag carefully

If it's full of stems and seeds, run away.

If, on the other hand, the flower tops and buds
are aromatic, you "scored" a wise investment.

:hippie:

On edit: NEVER, EVER mix distilled spirits with wine or beer!

:puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:

[harmonicon]

37. all of these bits of drinking advice are totally wrong

Drink your fucking brains out (if you want to) for as little money as possible. This is the one time that your body will be able to handle it. Any ill effects from this are yours and yours along - take pride in that.

If you're me, and you're back in time, definitely go out with that one girl in that one class when you totally had the chance, because she was hot as fuck, and you'll blow it if you wait and call her a week or two later.

Take any class that looks interesting, and don't worry about what classes you think you "need". I changed majors, and you can too! If I hadn't taken elective classes I probably would have never even been exposed to the field I work in now (doing postgraduate research and getting paid.... that's right, I get paid to study whatever I friggin' want! It's like college combined with a fantasy world.... oh, and I should actually be doing that work... that form is due next week - damn you, DU!!).

[liberaltrucker]

38. STFU and pass the doobie

:smoke:

[DarkTirade]

39. Yeah, I've got two 'missed boats' I can think of that I'd totally change if I could go back.

One senior year of high school, one freshman year of college. I may have been suave and knowledgeable in the ways of the fairer sex compared to my geek friends, but that ain't sayin' much. :P

[swag]

40. Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.

More bad advice:

Keep your drinks in your hands and in your line of sight at all times.

Stay out of churches. And don't let a priest near you if you're dying - all they got a key to is the shithouse.

If someone else is paying your tuition, board, etc., persuade them to do this: forget about college and you, you get a part-time low-effort job for now, and max out a Roth IRA with some of your saved tuition money. If you have loot left over, by the low-cost, low-turnover Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund in a taxable account at Vanguard that you can hold until your 67. Always fill up that Roth IRA every year, though, if you are qualified (have earned income during the year). Meanwhile, make art or play bicycle polo, have sex with everybody you want to have sex with, live a low-key life.

If you have health insurance, learn to roller skate on quads and shoot from a sawed-off shotgun while you're skating. It'll come in handy during the zombie apocalypse.

Omit needless words.

Avoid time vampires, human and otherwise (bye DU!).

[badgerpup]

41. I didn't live on campus, but I found these helpful...

If the professor is kind enough to hand out a study guide for the exam, for crying out loud, USE IT!
Go through it, write out every answer. Read the questions and answers OUT LOUD. Do this until you have it down by memory.
You will ace the exams.

Get to know your professors. Some of them may be a waste of space, but most of them will be very cool people and worth knowing outside the classroom. Do NOT, however, expect this to impact on your grade!

Don't be afraid to ask questions because 'you'll look stupid'. Your fellow classmates probably won't say anything, but many of them will probably be grateful that you did ask that particular question.

SAVE YOUR QUARTERS. Laundry breeds if it doesn't get done on a semi-regular basis.

If you're getting drunk just to get drunk, stick to the clear liquors like vodka or gin. The hangover isn't quite so bad...and drink LOTS of water. Dehydration makes the hangover worse, and once you're into the full "Please, just shoot me now" stage, you won't be able to keep anything down anyway.

[asdjrocky]

42. Three important things-

Find your passion.
Find your passion.
Find your passion.

[kwassa]

43. Figure out the difference between the work you are supposed to do ....

and the school work you really need to do.

The amount of assigned work is usually impossible, so this is a skill that requires befriending professors, skilled questioning, and savvy friends. I learned this in grad school for business after lolling through a pass/fail art school undergrad.

[laconicsax]

44. If an upperclassman says 'trust me,' don't.

[democracyindanger]

47. Never eat 7-11 nachos when you're drunk.

Because once you do, you'll crave them every time you're liquored up.

[ellisonz]

48. The same goes for the hot dogs.

[The Inquisitive]

50. quit fucking around!

[Locrian]

51. look around

Have fun and party thats fine - but dont get caught up in it and forget to look around and try to see who you really are.

This is really the ONLY time you will have to really be exposed to a lot of different people with strange and unusual views. Try to meet as many of these people as possible, try to lift the veil and actually SEE.

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant total amazement. "

[Dave_Fl_50]

52. Learn to speak Chinese

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

53. A sweatshirt doesn't need to be washed

just turn it inside-out.

:hi:

[libnnc]

55. Do NOT skip class

Unless you are bleeding from your eyeballs...seriously. Sometimes a THIRD of your final grade hinges simply on whether or not you bothered to show up.

Secondly, don't wait until just before final exams to introduce yourself to your professor. Professors like to be able to put a face with a name. And if you find yourself in trouble after midterms, if your professor knows you, they will be more likely to help you if you've been an active member of class.

Skipping class is addictive. You do it once, you'll develop a habit of it and it is a very hard habit to break.

Edit to add: Get thee to the campus library!! Get familiar with it as a freshman. Do NOT wait until you HAVE to be there to use it.

[The Animator]

56. Take a video camera with you to Spring Break.

Don't go to Aruba, if your blonde.

[TheMightyFavog]

58. If you get the opportunity to study abroad, TAKE IT!

You'll get exposed to new cultures, new experiences, new people, and you'll be able to do it for much less than what you would pay to do it after college.

[NewWaveChick1981]

59. If you live in a coed dorm, expect anything.

:P :rofl: :evilgrin: I lived in a coed dorm on a coed floor for two years, and I saw everything imaginable. Nekkid men running across the hall ....ahhhh....those were the days...:evilgrin:

[Deja Q]

60. What happens if the condoms go on strike?

[CreekDog]

62. drinking related:

1) you keep getting drunk even after you stop drinking. so if you are drinking to the point that you feel good and keep going...you will feel bad very soon after.

2) when you barf into the washing machine thinking it was the toilet, it means you should drink less at the next party.