I think I work for a pervert

[Amaya]

Ok, I was offered a job working for a lawyer. He offered me double what I was making. It's mainly paralegal work which I have no experience in, but he said he'd train me. So, I quit my other job and took this one. Anyway, since I've been working there he's been making inappropriate remarks and comments constantly on how I look. He then criticizes everything I do. He corrects how I speak and tells me how I should dress. Today, I told him to stop talking to me in this manner. He was really apologetic after that and offered me money for the weekend ... not my pay, but money out of his pocket :crazy:

I really need this job ... for a while at least. So, what should I do? Carry mase or something? I'm really stuck between a rock and hard place right now.

[GOPisEvil]

1. Next step...put your complaint in writing.

Document everything. If he keeps it up, sue his ass. Get a new job, you deserve better that.

[Amaya]

2. You're right,

it's wrong and I do deserve better. But, I really need this job right now.

[MercutioATC]

5. Yes, so document now and see what happens. He COULD just be

flirting (still inappropriate, but if it ends it's relatively harmless). If it continues or intensifies, you'll have a record and a legitimate lawsuit....

or a great way to blackmail him..........was that out loud????

[ajacobson]

3. Sounds like the movie "Secretary"

I'd start looking for a new job.

[Lizz612]

4. Thats what I was thinking

Sometimes the money isn't worth it. I would start looking again.

[Amaya]

6. I was thinking that too!

I promise there are no spankings in my future

[On the Road]

18. Well, You Might Want to See "Secretary" First

Maggie Gynenhall ended up pretty happy at the end of that movie. Depends on what you're looking for.

[Spirochete]

7. Does he look

like James Spader, perchance? hehe

[Amaya]

10. I should be so lucky!

No, he looks like Archie Bunker :D

[On the Road]

20. If You're Talking to Your Old Boss

check out the first episode of Ally McBeal:

She sued her old boss for sexual harrassement. Her old boss defended himself on the grounds that he had obsessive-compulsive disorder. Then her new boss (Fish) offered her old boss a job a double the salary because of his brilliantly creative defense. "It was bullshit, right?" Once he admitted it, Fish withdrew the job offer and kept the tape as evidence.

Just a fantasy. In a similar situation.

[camero]

8. Can you get your old job back?

Less money but also less aggravation it seems. If you must stay then document everything.

[Amaya]

12. Yeah, I might be able to...

I think I'm gonna talk to my old boss next week

[greatauntoftriplets]

9. The question is...

..what did he have in mind when he offered double what you were making before? This stinks to high heaven. Can you get your old job back? I would RUN, not walk.

[Amaya]

13. He said, he wanted to help me out.

:shrug: I know it's not a good situation

[greatauntoftriplets]

14. Whoa...

Run double quick. Please. This man does not have your best interests in mind.

[MrScorpio]

11. But is he a DEVIATED PREVERT?

If Keenan Wynn was still alive, we could get him to shoot your lawyer for you.
Before he tries any of his preversions on you.

[salinen]

15. You already made a mistake

you took the extra money he offered for his bad behavior. This was him paying you so he can continue behaving as before. Give back that money. Let him know what his boundaries are, and say that you will be history if it happens again. Now go get another job.

[Amaya]

16. You're right

I didn't even think about that... I guess, I'm pretty naive?
I feel like an idiot.

[MercutioATC]

17. As a guy, I'd say you're still doing O.K.

(I'm not forgiving the borderline sexual harassment...we'll deal with that later.)

You're making double what you were with an (alleged) training program to advance your skills as a paralegal. You shouldn't feel like an idiot, you should feel great. You got a great shot at advancement.

The downside is that he may be trying to get to "know" you more than you're comfortable. Yes, that's bad and unethical, but it happens. That's why God made civil courts. You have the right (with my enthusiastic blessing) to enjoy your new job and feel free to enlighten him on the facts of sexual harassment in the workplace. If he's smart, he'll write you a great recommendation, pay you at least a few weeks "severence" (you didn't mention the position) and leave you alone.

Remember, very few things (if anything) are "good" or "bad". Events give us opportunities, and WE decide what decisions we're going to make.

[seventhson]

19. A Little advice

I am a lawyer and have seen this before.

You need to have a straight up talk with him. Tell him that if he expects you to have a professional relationship then there can be NO misunderstandings.

Write down anything that happens immediately or as soon as practicable after it happens. You can use those in court to remember details - but only if written down (in some states) right after they happen. Also share this with those you trust (family - friends).

Be honest with him. He is completely within his rights to have you speak and dress a certain way for work and with his clients.

But if he is coming on to you and that is unacceptable to you then you need to have clear boundaries. You need to make those boundaries clear with him and lay them on the line.

If you lose your job because of this you may be entitled to unemployment compensation. But only if you do it properly and do not wuit without evidence to support your claim that he crossed a line.

He may just be a very poor communicator - he may actually want to hit on you and doesn't know you are out of his bounds - or he may be a total scum.

In any event. Tell him you have concerns and you are willing to work it out in order to keep your relationship strictly professional.

It may work out to your benefit. A lot of powerless legal secretaries do fall for slimy lawyers who use them and it is stupid all the way around.

But if you are hionest about it with hm hopefully he will be professional enough and smart enought o back off.

If he is a total jerk your other options remain open. If he backs off -- take the opportunity to learn the trade and maybe move up to a better job soon.

[Amaya]

24. Thanks for the advice

I'll definitely take of all that in consideration. I really think he's just an idiot trying to hit on me. I'll keep my guard up... in the mean time I think I'm going to look into getting my old job back. Just in case.

[morningglory]

21. See if you can find out if he is dangerous (contact an X-employee)

Start looking for another job, meanwhile, there are a couple of things you need to do to establish sexual harrassment. One is to tell him every time you do not like his advances. Keep yourself professional at all times, put it in writing as a poster suggested above and tell someone every time he bothers you. (witness)

[TeeYiYi]

22. At the very least . . .

. . . keep a daily journal and write down EVERYTHING while it is still fresh in your mind. Every comment, gesture, phone call, money exchange, etc. Write in it EVERY single day. Put it away each night and forget about it. And maybe you'll never need it, but if you do . . .

TYY

[Nlighten1]

23. Document everything!

[qanda]

25. Yes! And write it on a flag if there's no paper available

;-)

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

26. You may THINK you work for a pervert... I KNOW you do

cause I know men and how they act.

[Amaya]

27. Thanks Scooter for being concerned

I know his a perv. I'll write ya more later :)