The Broken Hearts thread......please share your story

[Lostmessage]

If we talk about it we can start the healing process.

Anyone care to start this thread about how your heart was broken.

If you were the one that broke someones heart please fill free to share your story.

[southerngirlwriter]

1. The only man I've ever loved

died four months ago.

I wasn't "in love," exactly, and neither was he, but we were at that point where --- well, it's sort of like when you're bicycling up a hill and you're pushing really hard because you're ALMOST at the top, and you know as you get to the top you'll get the fun and the thrill and the excitement and all that of the super-fast WHOOOOOOSH down the hill and you can't wait and you're pushing as hard as you can because you KNOW that what's about to happen is going to be soooooo worth the work to get there.......

And then he died.

I am 25 years old. I have never been in love. If I were going to fall in love, I think he would have been "the one."

I think my current situation, living alone with my writing as my "mate," is probably permanent.

I'm okay with that.

So, this isn't exactly a "broken heart" story -- it's more like getting locked out of the house where you're *eligible* for the broken heart...or something.

I don't understand any of this shit.

Sigh.

[Lostmessage]

2. I feel so bad for you!

I will describe what happened to me tomorrow.

[LastKnight]

3. the whole unrequited love bit...

multiple times... all pulled the 'i just wanna be friends' line outta thier hats.

one of them i keep running into to this day, as if fate(god/higher power or whatever) were playing a cruel joke on me, and thiers still possibilities there, mixed signals from her...

another just faded out of my known sphere of existance (probably the easiest to deal with)...

and yet another... seems to talk my ear off about all her life problems... im willing to help because were still friends, but ive become jaded with resentment of the time i wasted being rejected by her... almost to the point that if she were to change her mind i wouldnt want to bother with it anymore.

well, thats my depressing story, part of it anyway. the other relationships ive had werent that hard on me, they werent as cruel to lead me on at least.

-LK

[Lostmessage]

4. Sorry

I know now that it was all a cruel joke that was being played on me.

It hurts so bad.

[LastKnight]

5. care to share details?

ya dont have to if you dont wanna... but as long as were posting the jist of what happened to us. dosent have to be a life story but still. ill be up awhile if you want a conversation on a thread (any thread), its pretty much dead by this time of night anyway

-LK

[Lostmessage]

6. I am trying to put it into words

:cry:

[LastKnight]

7. i see

if you dont wanna dont feel obligated. PM me if you like... like i said ill be up awhile.

-LK

[Product of Evolution]

8. I did a couple of very stupid things a few years ago...

I had a huge crush on a friend of mine, and I think she was starting to feel the same way, but I did a couple of mean things because I was mad over something stupid, and just this past week, we've started really becoming friends again.

I'm only 20 though, so it's not so bad...

[populistmom]

9. Let's see

One of the strongest connections I've ever made with another human being in a multitude of levels + bad timing in our lives = broken heart. :(

[populistmom]

13. On second thought

When I really look at things, it's more like twice in my life, I have had experiences of men who earned my trust who proceeded to pretend like I no longer existed, pretend like what they said didn't mean anything or I'm at fault for thinking it did, lying to me, lying to others about me, all the while telling themselves (and everyone else) that they are some kind of female-friendly, caring, feminist types.

Many years ago after being hurt once, I told myself to just be compatible with someone, that the other stuff doesn't matter, and then after many years, I thought I wanted or deserved more out of life- that maybe happiness or love was something possible, that I was still young enough and my heart was open enough to have something like that in my life. I let my guard down emotionally for some silly reason. Now, I've finally figured out that I was right all along. The best anyone (or at least I) can hope for is to have someone who'll stick around and be reasonably okay to them. Of course, I have more to give that just that, but I've come to the realization that I will never get back all I have to give. It's just not wanted.

[Lostmessage]

14. I have had my heart broken more than one time

The first time was when I was a teenager.

I had gotten pregnant by the first guy that I ever dated and when I told him that I was pregnant he asked me If I knew who the baby was by.

I was a decent kid and he was the only person that I had been out with and he was allot older then me.

The girls at my High School took up a collection for me to have an abortion and I ended up having to ask my parents for some money.

It broke my heart and I don't have any kids today.

I will never forget the first time that my heart was broken.

[VelmaD]

10. Two years ago right before Valentine's Day...

the man I had been involved with for just over 10 years decided he needed to "find himself". It was horrible. We had been living apart for a while. I had come to Austin to go to grad school and then he was out in Lubbock working on a Master's and then a Doctorate. Anyway, he finished his course work in Fall of 2001. I went to visit him for the holidays and everything seemed fine. I came back to Austin and started getting ready for the big move - I was scared as hell but excited too. Anyway, he told me he had everything packed and was coming at the beginning of February (he said he gave notice at his job and needed to give them time to find someone to replace him...which was a lie).

So, the day he was supposed to move in with me in Austin he called to tell me he wasn't coming, that he wasn't sure we wanted the same things anymore, and that he needed to "find himself".

I hesitate to say it really broke my heart. I wasn't "in love" with him and he wasn't "in love" with me but we had spent 10 years together and thought that being best friends and loving each other would be enough. I was quite hurt though because I lost the person who had been my closest friend for a decade and because he lied to me a lot, especially toward the end. That he was able to lie to me and I never even began to see that really shook my faith in my ability to judge people.

Anyway, it was eventually the best thing that ever happened to me. It busted me out of my rut and forced me to deal with the issues I was running away from when I got involved with him in the first place.

[baldguy]

11. When they say . . .

. . . They really mean

Can't we just be friends? . . . . . There is no way in hell I'm going to let any part of your body touch ANY part of mine, again.

Of course I love you! . . . . . Just not in THAT way.

It's not you, it's me . . . . . It's you. No, really. It's you.

==========

EVERY time. I fall in love - and she suddenly has other things to do. Or she moves away. Or she decides we're not "right" together. or this or that or the other thing.

At least nobody has tried to kill me yet, and I've only had one insane girlfiend. So, I guess I'm ahead of the game. I just tired of playing it.

[greatauntoftriplets]

12. So where is your story????

:shrug:

[supernova]

15. Lostmessage, it helps to tell your story

I'm sure people are sick of my story by now :P

Lostmessage, it helps to tell your story. It lessens the pain of talking about it each time. The pain becomes a lot more bearable; a lot less of a depressing effect on your present life.

Afterall, it is YOUR story, not anyone else's. You're the expert.

:hug: :pals:

[Lostmessage]

16. I have told one so far

Thanks :hurts:

[supernova]

17. Do you wish now

that you had kept the baby? :shrug:

[Lostmessage]

18. What do you think?

Each day I live in hell because of my stupid decision.

[supernova]

19. Forgiveness

You could think about forgiving yourself. :hug:

[youngred]

20. I was dating "X" for over a year

She was 23, I was 17. I thought I was in love. She was the first girl I had seriously dated since my frist girlfriend (who had died, which is another heartbreak story). It was February 16th, and I was due to go to Europe for a week on a school trip for a week, so I wanted to give her a big surprise romantic evening.

I had rented a limo for the evening, had on my favourite suit and tie and had a dozen red, red roses, reservations at the best restaurant in town. I had found a beautiful view of the sunset over the lake that was semi-secluded and romantic, candles in the limo, etc. Basically perfect. So I head over to her place because I knew she was getting out of work early. Her car was in the drive, so I went up and knocked. No one answered so I assumed she was in the shower or something and let myself in. I looked around until I came to her bedroom. Walked in, and there she was having sex with a guy I knew. She looked right into my eyes. I threw the flowers on the ground, slammed the door and ran out told the limo driver to forget it and ran home. I went back and drank a handle of vodka through tears and much vomit. Which didn't leave me in the best of positions for my flight the next morning at 7AM.

So I went on the trip, and on the trip was this girl named "Mary" with whom I had always had a semi-flirty relationship. We were friends, but never really available when the other one was though we'd always wanted to date. Well she didn't have a boyfriend, my relationship was just over, I was rebounding and we were in Paris, Florence, Rome and London. I got to the end of a week with her that was finally making me feel better about myself and my life and I asked her if I could take her out when we got back home, and she said, 'Zack, you know how I feel about you, but there's this guy that I've been trying to get with and he asked me out just before we left and I think I'm going to date him.' I was crushed again.

So, I go home. "X" had left me over 100 messages in the week I was gone apologizing, saying it was a one-time thing and that she never meant to hurt me. She did love me, and I actually believe she did, she just had a compulsion for sex which was a god-send to a 17 year old, but ended up hurting us in the end. So I agreed (very foolishly) to hear her out. We met for dinner and she pleaded with me to forgive her and give it a second shot. Faced with someone whom I had loved and trusted for so long I agreed to try again.

One week later while waiting for her to get ready so we could go out to a club I was sitting in her living room. The phone rang, she said "let the machine get it". So I did. A Man's voice came over the phone "Hey, "X", just wondering when I can come over later, after you ditch the loser I mean". I got up, slammed the door and never spoke with her ever again.

PS her name is a Barry Manilow song that I now abhorr