At work I think I will institute the "BOAT OAR" policy

[underpants]

It is a great training and motivational tool.

Here's how it works. If a fellow employees CONTINUES to do the same stupid a** s**t over and over I take one of my BOAT OARs (I should get a good deal as I will be buying in bulk) and with a woodburner write (in reverse)the specific instructions that would seemingly be obvious to even a trained monkey after the THIRD or FOURTH time it is told what to do.

The next step is to take said BOAT OAR (it gives much more leverage and what the pros call "oar speed") and SLAP the fellow employee square in the forehead.

By writing out the obvious in reverse every time they look in a mirror they will be reminded of what they are supposed to do.

Are you having a bad month too?

[Loonman]

1. LOL negative feedback

When I was managing pizza delivery, years ago, some of the incompetence would drive me nuts, I'd get frustrated and loudly say, "okay, this has gone far enough, it is time to re-institute the employee beatings".

[markbark]

2. Wow.

I think you've just invented a nuclear LART


....or is that noo-kyoo-lur? :)


--MAB

[underpants]

4. LOL no that is what I meant by "oar speed"

much longer than a 2x4.

[trof]

5. Would that be TOS (True Oar Speed)?

Or IOS (Indicated Oar Speed)?
There's a difference, ya know.

[underpants]

9. It's OAR SPEED

It doesn't have to be precise.

And don't make me come over there.

[trof]

3. I, myself, am partial to cattle prods.

But that may be just a southern thang.
;-)

[northzax]

12. go for tasers

cattle prods leave embarrasing marks that can be used against you if they're lucky enough to get a liberal commie-loving judge. (thank god W is getting rid of those pansy asses.)

[Loonman]

6. Also at the pizza place we had the "upselling" tool

A sawed in half broomstick so we could whack the back of your knees when you were on the phone.

"Is that all, ma'am?"
*whack*
"would you like sodas with that?"
*whack"
"Extra cheese?"


(of course I'm kidding, we only used that to mess with the new-hires, like the "dough repair kit" or "bucket of steam")

[underpants]

8. What no threats with the oven blade?

Hell my brother loved to do that at the place we worked.

[Loonman]

10. Oh, yeah

We called it the "peel".

Not really, but most of us could twirl it around like a drum majorette, or an inept Jackie Chan.

[commander bunnypants]

7. Hey

In my division we call it baseball bat therapy. Tends to work wonders


DEMMAN

[underpants]

11. This isn't therapy this is TRAINING

The beatings will continue unitl morale improves.