Hello friends. I'd like to offer you my apologies

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

Hi friends, fellow Americans.

Look, we may not always see eye to eye, but I want you all to know that I strive to be as accurate as I possibly can. Regretfully, I'm nearly as lazy as I am stupid. So I'm not really able to be very accurate. As I understand it, accuracy depends upon actually researching a story, and checking facts, and blah blah blah blah. Friends, I have neither the time nor inclination for that sort of labor intensive work.

So here we are today. I'm looking at several potential libel and slander suits, and you're all bashing my good name. Such is the breaks for a newsman that refuses to do the work, instead banking on taking the bait and running a sensational story in the hopes that it won't turn out to be wrong. The bottom line is, I gambled and I lost. As I always say, the greatest risk in life is not taking risks.

At any rate, friends, I'd like to offer my sincere apologies to DU, John Kerry, the intern (who really wasn't an intern and never had nothing to do with John Kerry), Wes Clark, and pretty much the entire world. I'm a small man, with no morals, no work ethic, no honesty, no integrity and really very few intangible qualities either.

In sum, I'm your basic Republican.

May God bless all of you, and may God bless America and its strict libel/slander laws.

Warm Regards,
Matt

[Bunny]

1. HaHa Good One!

I enjoyed that, and I accept your apology! :)

[trotsky]

2. ROFLMAO

Oh, that's rich. Apologies accepted, "Matt". :D

[BruinAlum]

3. You're a real slimeball, Mr Drudge

Just like every good Republican. :)

[afraid_of_the_dark]

4. Welcome to DU!

And apology accepted. :P

[mouse7]

5. Drudge said A-Rod was going to the Red sox, too.

Drudge said Pudge Rodriguez would resign with the Marlins. Drudge said both Mars Rovers were broken beyond repair...

Keep apologizin', Drudge

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

9. I had some egg on my face there!

I don't really report facts. Finding facts is like hard work. And also you have to have the ability to think.

I prefer to wear my newsman hat and look like a complete jackass.

Oh well, as A-Rod says, "I'm probably pretty sure it will all work out for the best."

Apologies and contrition,
Matt

[SpaceCatMeetsMars]

6. Over at Eschaton they are saying that you like to

eat cake in the shower while people throw hard-boiled eggs at your great big head. I personally wouldn't spread spurious rumors, but I'm just telling you that's what THEY'RE saying!

[XNASA]

7. Bugger off, Matt.

;)

[PVnRT]

8. Not bad

Almost, but not quite, as funny as when Jesus Himself came into the Lounge and talked to us.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

11. Well, I certainly can't compete with Jesus Himself

I'm simply Newsman Matt Drudge. That said, I fully expect that people will know who I am, and quite possibly worship me in 2000 years.

I'm probably pretty sure that I'm still a very important newsman, but this one hurts right in the old ticker.

I thought for sure that if I heard a story about a Democrat and intern that it must be true. Ah well, live and learn!

Do you know any interns of any prominent Democrats?

Kind Regards,
Matt

[Richardo]

10. I see by your earnest look, and the hat, that you are sincere...

Let he who is without a lame affectation throw the first stone...

LOL - I'm guessing felonius thunk.... :D

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

13. Sincerity is my strong suit

Yes, um. I usually try very hard to tell the truth. It, ah, doesn't work out that way for the most part, because I'm a liar...

But such is life. On the bright side, I made this site just a bit more fun last week!

I really got you guys with that "joke" huh?? huh??

huh.

Sincerely,
Matt

[TXlib]

12. Why the long face?

:evilgrin:

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

16. I've had a rough couple of days

Apparently people are much more concerned about facts than I'd anticipated.

My bad!

Kindness,
Matt

[TXlib]

17. No, I mean, you have a LONG face...

You look like Bruce Campbell in Army of Darkness after he nearly got sucked into the decoy Necronomicon.

[CrownPrinceBandar]

19. Thats an insult to Bruce Campbell...

now please apologize to him.

Here he is:



See! He heard what you said about him. He's pissed now.

[TXlib]

20. This is more what i was thinking...

vs.

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

21. He's missing my "very important newsman" hat.

Please rectify this situation, and I might agree that it is a strong resemblance.

Jollyness,
Matt

[TXlib]

22. I don't have photoshop... somebody else will have to do that.

[jus_the_facts]

14. You and Rush should get married......

.....oh that's RIGHT...the LAW won't let you...tsk tsk! :eyes:

[Newsman Matt Drudge]

15. The drugs are a real problem for me

As a professional newsman Rush and I were never able to work it out...er, I mean, we couldn't even, um, if we'd have, um, tried to..because of the...drugs..

I'm not gay.

Really, I'm not gay.

And neither is my Rush...I mean Rush.

Love,
Matt

[Goldberg]

18. LMMFAO!

That's frikken hilarious! Finally...Matt Drudge comes clean about being a dirty newsman! I love it! Ha ha ha.

Kiss my ass, Matt. :)