'Someone put LSD in my salad.'-top 10 calling in late and sick excuses

[underpants]

Imaginative Excuses for Coming in Late

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1. While rowing across the river to work, I got lost in the fog.

2. Someone stole all my daffodils.

3. I had to go audition for American Idol.

4. My ex-husband stole my car so I couldn't drive to work.

5. My route to work was shut down by a presidential motorcade.

6. I have transient amnesia and couldn't remember my job.

7. I was indicted for securities fraud this morning.

8. The line was too long at Starbucks.

9. I was trying to get my gun back from the police.

10. I didn't have money for gas because all of the pawnshops were closed.

10 Best Excuses for Calling in Sick

1. At her sister’s wedding, an employee chipped her tooth on a mint julep, bent over to spit it out, hit her head on a keg and was knocked unconscious.

2. While at a circus, a tiger urinated on the employee’s ear, causing an ear infection.

3. An employee’s dog wasn’t feeling well, so the employee tasted the dog’s food and then got sick.

4. “Someone put LSD in my salad.”

5. An employee’s roommate locked all his clothes in a shed for spite.

6. “Stuck on an island – canoe floated away.”

7. An employee was upset because his favorite "American Idol" contestant was voted off.

8. “I didn’t think I had to come in if I had time in my vacation bank. I thought I could take it whenever I wanted.”

9. An employee said he wasn’t feeling well and wanted to rest up for the company’s holiday party that night.

10. A groundhog bit the employee’s car tire, causing it to go flat.

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[Carnea]

1. I've heard varaitions of these,

The ex-husband/boyfriend screwing with the car is sadly a very real one for many woman.

[jmowreader]

2. Someone here had a better one...

the guy called in sick, said he'd be there tomorrow, and claimed the disease he had was "Ebola."

[Pierre.Suave]

5. HAHAHAHAHA

OMFG what a DUMBASS.

I mean come on, if you are going to fake a disease, you should at least GOOGLE it first...

Everyone knows that...:rofl:

[MountainLaurel]

3. In DC, #5 is fairly common

Because it's not just presidential motorcades, but any sort of diplomatic or VIP escort, as well as roads being shut down for security reasons or for protests. I used to pass by a number of embassies en route to work, and it was fairly common to have to take a different route (it was only a mile, so there weren't all that many alternatives to take) because the road would be unexpectedly closed.

[Shell Beau]

4. Groundhogs bite tires all of the time.

Duh! That is totally legit!


























:rofl: