Who has the most useless Lounge posts?

[short bus president]

I have to nominate myself for this one.

Reading SOteric's threads will teach you how to cook, SoCalDem's most recent thread will teach you the true nature of the state lotto, Lady Freedom's threads will no doubt help you shed a few inhibitions, and as of last night, Amaya'll even teach you how to masturbate. Darth_Kitten offers up fresh new images of pukably cute felines, fenris probes the psychology of moping music, trof'll man the bar during an emergency, hardhead and Catwoman examine the intractable problems of CRD (caucasian rhythm deficiency), and seemingly everyone else has generously provided a link to the shrub-in-a-flightsuit doll. In the midst of all this, however, my posts offer nothing more than immature giggles at sophomoric catchphrases like "vibrating pocket pussy" or "various members of the Sanchez family."

In my reckoning, there's really only one other Lounger who can compete with me on uselessness, but he's out whacking his box of chocolates with a ping pong paddle, so...

I WIN!!!



on edit: d'oh! should've been posted as a "question."

[GOPisEvil]

1. I think I'm in the top 5, at least!

But, we have a good time, so who cares?! :D

[short bus president]

5. have to disagree

your strategic occupation of the space up certain DUers butts must yield some benefits! :P

[VelmaD]

8. congratulations...

you managed to work us back around to that anal sex thread. ;)

Darth Velma

[short bus president]

9. hon, I'm INFAMOUS

for workin' around back!

:evilgrin:

:spank: bad shortbus! bad! :spank:

[VelmaD]

10. you're making it...

really damn difficult to decide who to root for in that fight between you and DarkPhenyx hon.

Then again if you're infamous for "workin' around back" maybe we can figure out a plan that makes everybody happy and prevents bloodshed (unless, of course, you're into that).

-V-

[short bus president]

12. well, like I said before,

I've only met DP once, but I'd like to consider him a friend, and that would tend to preclude serious violence between us. But hell, I'd call "backseat" anyway if I was to go for a ride anywhere with my favorite kinky couple... :7

[Hubert Flottz]

52. I try hardest to!

Am I Doin' Good?

[commander bunnypants]

2. I know I am a runner up

and I agree with Gopis Evil. It is fun


DEMMAN

[UrbScotty]

3. MATCOM!

:evilgrin:

[short bus president]

14. a useless threadjacker?

Gawd forbid!

[ForrestGump]

4. Damn - I didn't see those lessons from Amaya

And not so fast, buddy.

The race ain't over yet. I've worn lots of shoes.

[short bus president]

6. sure, but

ever run a mile in Ramsey's stillettos?

:evilgrin:

[GOPisEvil]

7. No, but I've SEEN Ramsey...

There's a lot more going on than stillettos. (hubba hubba)

[ForrestGump]

36. Some guys have all the luck

:P

[ForrestGump]

35. Um, no

Darn.

[Amaya]

11. Thanks for the recognition!

I'm only here to help! Too bad my masturbation thread was locked.
Now my day is ruined! :(
But since you nominated me as a useless Lounge poster, I'll feeling a
tingling feeling all over. ;)

[short bus president]

13. I know!

How dare the mods slap the electronic chastity belt on a thread from which I was learning SO MUCH?!? :evilgrin:

But the same thing happened way back when on DU1 with the "how often do you masturbate" thread. There are some ladies here that even a hand-shark like me couldn't keep up with!

[BlueJazz]

15. Whew !!... I thought you were gonna bring up my name...

....so I was getting ready to point out that late at night I suspect
my Yak has been using my login name incognito.

Has there been any "What's your favorite Male Yak in a supporting movie role" threads ??

[short bus president]

16. again with the yaks?!?

I don't get the hairy livestock fetish - you must be looking for the ewe-less thread...

[BlueJazz]

28. Ah, no..

I'm already in the clue-less thread.

[short bus president]

33. well, then... HERE!

:toast:

Wouldn't want this to be a brewless thread.

[BlueJazz]

39. Well, since the background is white.......

I must be in the Hue-Less thread
:)

[short bus president]

41. and without the yak?!?

it's a crying shame of a zoo-less thread.

[BlueJazz]

42. Well, he is such an anti-Semite.....

the only time I can take him anywhere is if it's a Jew-Less thread.

[leftist_rebel1569]

17. I am SOOOO up there....

99% of my posts are in the lounge, I bet. So, if we're looking at percentage, I win. But with numbers, i'm at least up there.

[short bus president]

24. Good point - percentage v. raw useless post totals

as shortbus, I have precious few useless posts - not even 700 yet. But my percentage is easily in the high 90s.

BTW - anybody up for another rousing day-long spree of "100 bottles of beer on the wall?" <ducks>

[Lady Freedom]

18. oops! sorry...

I think that title may be mine. But if someone else wants it they can have it!I'm not greedy!

[short bus president]

22. C'mon, Lady!

I'm sure there are more than a few DUers who can think up a lot of uses for your, um, posting enthusiasm! ;-)

[Lady Freedom]

ahhhhhh!

you read that how to post didn't you? :evilgrin:

[short bus president]

25. read it?

Hell, I printed it out and hung it on the ceiling over my bed!

[Lady Freedom]

27. there I go...

I am going to get a big head! You guys are alway inlargeing my ego!
:evilgrin:

[GOPisEvil]

29. Yours isn't the only head getting big...

...:eyes:

:evilgrin:

Sorry short bus, but you know it's true.

[short bus president]

30. Quiet you!

I'd offer up a witty retort, but it seems my noggin's somewhat underpowered with all the blood flowing elsewhere...

[Lady Freedom]

31. There goes my ego again!

:evilgrin:

[Jonte_1979]

19. Bah

Gagagagagagagagagagagogogo.

[short bus president]

20. Huh?

wagga wagga wagga?

With apologies to the far-from-useless Mr. Pitt.

[Jonte_1979]

23. My point exactly

When it comes to posts without any substance what so ever, I rule the lot of you.

[Lady Freedom]

32. well...

I don't know. What good was my post about the hotties guy/gal on the board? humm?

[Aristus]

57. It was VERY good, Lady!

Take my word for it.

[matcom]

21. this is ALL about ME DAMMIT!

there is NOBODY with more useless posts ALIVE!

c'mon!

if it contains any of the following, it gets posted by MOI:

-ass
-thong
-beer (any alcohol really)
-Catwoman
-sex
-M.A.T.C.O.M.
-Jasper the monkey

and, the #1 reason i am king of the uselsess posts IS:

i post useless stuff usually when i am drunk and as we all know...... i am ALWAYS drunk :D

[GOPisEvil]

26. Remember, there were no useless posts until you came along!

You are the chairman emiritus of the "useless post society". :D

[matcom]

34. yeah. look up useless post in Webster's

you'll see a picture of my ASS! :P

[short bus president]

37. riddle me this, matcom...

where exactly can a DUer look and NOT see your ass?!?

:evilgrin:

[Lady Freedom]

38. Hummmmm....

Does he really know the answer? hehe
sorry matcom! :evilgrin:

[matcom]

43. careful or i'll cover it!

nah, not really. you will ALWAYS be able to see my ass!

:D

[short bus president]

45. Oh, I get it...

this is one of those promise/threat things, right?

[underpants]

40. Hands down no competition it has to be SKINNER

They have nothing to do with:
Yaks
Thongs
CAPTIONs
anal sex
Best back-up vocals on a double live album

None of that. But yet he persists.

:shrug:

[matcom]

44. not true

why if you go down to the 'complaint' forum you will see Jeff that Skinner had to post NUMEROUS times regarding anal sex!

:D

[underpants]

46. There is a "complaint" forum?

Where do I do to complain about not knowing that?

I bet there are a lot of complaints about W there, huh?

[short bus president]

47. yeah, down by the Gun Dungeon

where the real masochists hang out.

On the plus side, I've never seen an anal sex thread locked in the complaints forum!

[Shrek]

48. Try starting an anal sex thread in the Gun Dungeon.

Go ahead, I dare you.

:-)

[short bus president]

49. I steer clear of the "other GD"

Sure, I'm a gun-owner, but I'm an ass-lover, not a fighter!

[ForrestGump]

50. In what sense do you mean "most useless"? Quantitative or qualitative?

Or as a product of both?

[short bus president]

51. contemplative, of course.

we philosophers yearn for useless stuff to ponder while stroking our... beards.

[ForrestGump]

53. Yeah, I've heard all about your 'beard'

And I'm here to tell the women of DU that Mr Shortbus does not really have a big-nosed, bearded clown who's in dire need of mouth-to-nose resuscitation.

That's digusting......trying to take advantage of these progressive women's caring and empathetic nature.....

[short bus president]

54. Spoken like a man

with crabs in his fishnets.

:P

[blondeatlast]

55. Well, seeing as my posts usually float like lead,

Me!

[short bus president]

56. no ma'am!

No way! You've got that cute little ass in your posts and everything...

[short bus president]

58. does anybody else see "59 replies" in the Lounge

but only 58 actual replies here in the thread? I don't recall one being removed. What happened?

on edit - changed 58 to 59 in the subject, and 57 to 58 in the post, to account for this post being added to the total. d'oh!