This is going to sound really strange.

[yasmina27]

But since I lost my star (can't afford a donation right now), I have to post it here:

About 2 months ago, I finally made contact with an old college friend, through her ex-husband. He and I have been in email contact for about 4 years (when I first started looking for her), and met for dinner 2 years ago when I visited my cousin in FL. It was all on the up and up, as he brought his SO to dinner. Since then, however, we have communicated via email that if our lives were different, and not so invested, we would be interested in each other. Just to be clear, we've had no further contact, via phone or in person, that would compromise our situations.

Thanks to him (long story), I was finally able to make contact with my college friend, whom I consider my best friend in the world. We exchanged a few phone calls, a few emails, then nothing. Finally in mid June, I got a call from her. She was in the hospital, unable to walk, along with other infirmities.

Again, silence until the beginning of July. She lost her job due to an accident (fell down the stairs at her house), was walking, but with a cane, and broke her right arm in several places. She has to be out of her apartment by the end of the month.

After talking it over with my husband (and some of you know, our relationship is not the best), we agreed that she could come and stay with us until she gets her act together.

To be honest, she has gone through rehab for drug and alcohol addiction. I am concerned about her being clean. However, she is VERY depressed and suicidal, and my comittment to her staying here for a while is literally her lifeline. I call her several times each day to make sure she's ok. Her voice is not the voice of the friend I knew long ago, nor that even prior to her accident. I told her that I look forward to hearing her cackling laugh again. I truly believe that if I wasn't here for her, she would have killed herself by now. She has family in the eastern part of the state, but has no desire to contact them.

I said to my husband that I truly believe that there is a reason (god, higher power, whatever your personal belief) that I was able to get in contact with her at this time, that she would need a friend to pull her through. God, that sounds like a messianic complex, but I am feeling very torn between wanting to help my "bestest" friend in the world, and upsetting the fragile relationship I have with my husband.

BTW, my husband agrees that we have to help her and has no problem with her staying here, except that he has informed me that we have to "talk". God, I hate when he does that. Sounds like my dad when I was a kid and I was in trouble. However, hubby says that it's not bad, we just have to "talk".

But I don't care. I loved my friend long before I met and loved my husband. "Beaches" has always been our movie, only I'm not sure which of us will die first. But it really doesn't matter, it's that we have that kind of friendship. I will do anything for her.

I apologize if I am rambling. I am basically free-thinking, letting my thoughts come through the keyboard. If I sound really wacko, I'm sorry. I'm open to any and all respectful questions and concerns.

Thanks to all, DU, and send us some DU love that all goes well. BTW, one condition I will make for her staying here is that she register to vote :). Preferably as a democrat. She has always been quite liberal, being in theater and all, and I expect she will add to Obama's landslide victory here in PA and in the rest of the country. (although I would never make a condition of whom she has to vote for). It will be 100% her choice, even though my husband and I are 100% opposed to McSame (he is a republican!).

Democracy in Action!!

[Texasgal]

1. I am not so sure I understand,,

Is the issue between you and your husband? Or is it between you and your friend?

And kudos to you for helping another human being in need! VERY,VERY cool!

[yasmina27]

2. Thanks Texasgal!

The potential issue is between by husband and I. I will do anything in my power to help my friend. My husband and I have had some serious issues recently, to the point where if I were to elaborate, you would wonder why I was still with him.

The fact is that financially I would have a hard time managing, and he IS a good father to our daughters. He gets weird when he has too much to drink, and oftentimes says hurtful things to me. I've learned to push back and not put up with any of his crap, and when/if he starts it with our daughters (10 & 12 yo.), then he will be gone regardless.

To be honest, I will do anything to help my friend, husband be damned. If he and I had a "normal" relationship, with the normal occasional glitches, then I would be more worried about him. But like I said, she's been my dearest friend far longer that he's been my husband.

She is hurting. I told my husband that I would do the same if his best friend called and needed a place to bunk for a while until he got his shit together.

I can do no less for my friend.

[yasmina27]

3. Jesus this place moves fast!

Thanks again Texasgal.

I post and 5 minutes later, it's relegated to god knows where???

Just 'cuz I don't have a fricken' star??

[Texasgal]

4. I'm sorry..

My dog had the leash in his mouth and was looking at me... you must know how that turned out... :)

So... your hubby wants to "talk"... what do you think will happen?

Is the issue the fact that you moved your friend in? Or is it that you and he can overlook issues because of your friend?

[yasmina27]

5. I have no idea

He khows I hate these "obscure" 'we have to talk' discussions. My parents literally used to use that phrase to put terror in my heart - although I don't think they realized what they were doing.

"We'll talk about it later" was always the catch-phrase in our house meaning that I was in trouble.

How sweet of you to take your dog for a walk. Mine had her leash in her mouth yesterday begging to go swimming. Unfortunately. she can only swim warly in the day or she pees all over the place!

[Texasgal]

6. hmmm.

Perhaps you should approach him and get it over with???

[yasmina27]

7. Well,

He finally told me last night, and it was something so minor I don't even remember what it was.

Thing is, he's done this before, and I've told him not to do it. But he keeps doing it. If I try to push him and get it over with, he just puts me off until what he considers the "right time".