On the question of the internet and real life...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

I've always found this intersection to be very intriguing...

We are real people, sitting in real places, typing on real keyboards...

We tap out our thoughts, our emotions, our histories, our lives...

Sometimes we catch the attention of someone who finds us interesting.

Someone who wants to get close to us...

Now, there's nothing wrong with this...

You need to be honest with whoever you're talking to, and they with you, and you need to be cautious...

But if you do those things, and your new friend does it too, then a real friendship can develop...


I have to say that I have had this happen to me here...

There are several people here that I met online who are very much a part of my "real" life...

We talk on the phone, we visit and we care enormously about each other...

We have all contributed hugely to each other's lives...

If you view your online life as though it were like reading a book, you might lose out...

Some random musings on this warm Monday night...


:grouphug:

[Haole Girl]

1. When a person betrays another badly enough...

..passing around personal information, told in confidence, spreading their PM's to other DUers...

well, it's time to reconsider the dangers of the internet.

Just a non-random musing by "KC2"! :hi:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. My dear KC2!

I hear you, sweetie!

In fact, your thread triggered mine...

And I agree with what you've said...

It's really a shame that these things happen...

They shouldn't but of course, they do...

I'm so sorry you've been victimized this way...:hug:

[Haole Girl]

3. Real life vs. Internet life...

someday someone will write a book about it.

Just never confuse the two, Peggy.

:hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. It's not a question of confusion for me...

For me, there is an intersection...

And it is strong and vivid and meaningful...

:hug:

[Haole Girl]

7. Luckily for you...

You haven't been hit by a red light runner yet! ;-)

[crimsonblue]

4. Hey Peggy

I got my mail today, and saw the awesome bumper sticker amidst the bills and junk mail. I instantly went to my car and slapped it onto my rear window (I don't want to ruin the paint job). Thank you so very much!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

8. My dear crimsonblue!

Oh, I am so glad you got it, and that now it's on your car!

And here we have the intersection of the internet and "real" life...

It's amazing!

Thanks for letting me know, sweetie!

:hug:

[crimsonblue]

9. I can thank you in advance

for the stern looks and awkward conversations this will start will my family... :P

[Robeson]

6. Good points, Peg. I think I'll recommend....

...one has to be discerning, and disseminating. But it really is not the art-form some might think. It usually involves a little common sense, mixed with the same feeling we have in determining whether or not we want to further a relationship with someone in "real life".

[CaliforniaPeggy]

10. My dear Robeson...

Thanks for your recommendation!

And you're absolutely right...common sense and the gut feelings we have in "real" life...

I have yet to be disappointed in any of the meetings I've had with DUers, face to face...

Nobody has turned out to be anything but exactly what they showed me here...

:hug:

[Robeson]

13. Agree 100%. The DU'ers whom I've had the pleasure to meet....

...were just as they were when I've talked to them here. When I met them in person, it was just as if we picked up right where we left off here.

[crimsonblue]

11. my two cents on the merging of the two cultures....

For my generation especially, the boundary between real and virtual life is becoming quickly blurred. New cellphones allow us to keep constant check on email, myspace, rss feeds, and other wonders of the internet. I've had an email account for almost half of my life. I'd just as rather chat with a friend on AIM as on the phone. I've had real relationships through the utilization of the internet. I have both, at one time or another, been an abuser of the internet and a victim of it. When my internet is down, I feel very sad. I feel like it is a guilty pleasure to visit my parents for the weekend and not take my computer with me, or to go a whole day without opening it up. I feel proud that I am both computer and literature literate, and can manage proper grammar and spelling (remember the days before spell check online?). To me, the internet is just as real as the trees and plants outside my window by my desk, and the people on DU equal to the neighbors strolling down the sidewalk. The internet, just like 'real' life, is inherently neutral, and you can take what you will out of it. Both lives have caused immense pride and excitement to swell inside me, and both have fomented torment and sincere self-doubt within myself. These days, internet IS real life.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

14. Ah, my dear crimsonblue...

I appreciate your comments!

And I too find the boundaries between the real and virtual lives blurring...

I have friends here that I talk to here, and then I call them or see them in person...

It is amazing, and wonderful!

:hug:

[harmonicon]

12. yes, Peggy, you might lose out...

However, I get concerned that people who become too invested in the relationships they have online miss out on other things in life. To some small extent, it's happened to me in the past, but I've seen it happen to others in a bad way. I've made friends from chats and message boards before, and it can happen, but my best friends are the people who I've had a chance to grow up with, see every day, and know in intimate ways that the internet can't provide. I think there can be an illusion of intimacy with the computer due to the daily exposure we have to one another, but it's not the same as running into friends in your town every day. Some of my best friends I can go years without seeing or even talking to, but when we get together, there is a real bond there that can't be simulated. This forum is great, and the people who post here are great, but if I had to choose between giving this up, and giving up being able to go to the office, or phone a friend to go get a drink, the choice would be dead easy.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

15. My dear harmonicon!

I hear you, and I understand...

But for me it's a matter of choice...

I can't call my local friends in the middle of the night...

But here I can talk to Heidi or Call Me Wesley or billyskank or MissHoneychurch then!

Everyone gets different things from wherever they are...

When we (my husband and I) went to Europe last year, I took my laptop so that I could be here on DU whenever I had internet access...

I posted pictures and shared PM's with my friends, and I was so happy!

Of course, the trip was great, and I loved being away...

But having DU meant so much to me...

I would have missed the contact too much...

My choice would be easy too...but it would be different from yours...

To each his/her own, I say!

:hi:

[CreekDog]

16. coming over to the lounge got me out of "argue" mode and taught me about the people here

and i can't help but care for the ones i've gotten to know. and it's a funny thing because pretty much everyone else that i know in my life i know in person. i don't particularly like communicating via myspace or email. that said, i really like some of the people i've come to know here. they seem to be fun people who display a lot of caring and concern for others.

this is the first online thing where i've felt any kind of closeness to people i've been interacting with.

so, i think you make an excellent point.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

17. My dear creekdog...

Thanks, sweetie...

I had only been online a very short time when I first found DU, and this place has been a revelation!

I have learned so much about myself during the three years I've been here...

It is not only possible, but even likely, when conditions are right, to become close to others here...

And it can add so much to your life!

:hi: