Ever feel like your body is going haywire?

[crimsonblue]

I just feel.... out of it. Jittery, wandering, out of touch, very receptive to small changes in light and sound... Maybe I'm going crazy... I've long feared that the history of mental illness in my family is catching up to me... yikes....

[Swede]

1. I recall your post on solipsistic fear.

You seem to be on an introspective quest. Your posts are interesting.

[crimsonblue]

4. that's a perfect way of putting it, I suppose.

I first became fascinated with existentialism and solipsism in High School, when my English teacher had us read 'Grendel'. I've always felt a bit... alone in this world, and that the roles of others in my life were constantly fleeting, nearly always disappointing. I guess I'm at that stage in my life where I am having my first crisis-- a crisis of self. As I close in on leaving the child-world behind (upon my future graduation from college), I am frightened immensely by the prospect of the future and the grand illusions I had of it. The overarching belief of what I want my life to become is simply "to be happy". That sounds simple when it is merely an abstraction, an idea floating in my head, but it becomes much harder to obtain when calculations and execution lead to undesired or unforeseen results. I have seen myself repeat without end the same mistakes of my child world, always thinking that maybe this time I will learn, maybe this time things will be different. But it never is. What is it that keeps me going? What is it that keeps me from giving up hope, from succumbing to despair? Is there something, someone out there besides me? Is there a whole new world waiting for me, waiting for its lead actor to take the stage? I've read the works of Shakespeare, Yeats, Bryant, Thoreau, Nietsche.. Nothing but more questions without answers..

[Duer 157099]

2. Are you prone to migraines?

Those sound like the prodromal signs of an upcoming migraine.

Or too much caffeine. Either one feels similar.

[harmonicon]

3. not that exactly...

but I do think that my landlord may have swapped my jack daniels for an inferior whiskey when he was here to fix the shower earlier today. 1. yes, I know that I'm crazy 2. this does not mean that I'm wrong in knowing that my landlord is totally bonkers

[mcctatas]

5. I think we all feel that way sometimes...

But what you're describing does not sound like mental illness, I know that small changes in light and sound can often exacerbate my symptoms of MS, but more likely you're shit's just fucked up...

(see video)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjk9RFNzhNw