Finally, I Received the Coroner's Report on My Dad's Death

[bertha katzenengel]

Six months later. OP: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=7338765&mesg_id=7338765

You may believe I'm weird or maudlin in having asked that the coroner send this to me. Obviously I don't feel that way.

It took them six months, but they finally got it to me.

I learned two things:

1. He may have had 4-5 seconds of terror, but my dad did not feel a thing. It's crystal clear that he died instantly.

2. For a reason I can't understand, or can't assimilate, they couldn't recover his body until the next day. I think it had something to do with waiting for an FAA investigator to get there. That's fucked up.

The FAA official could only surmise what happened, and his conclusion seems reasonable. But they were never able to take the plane away from the scene for a thorough investigation. It rains in the winter in Southern California. The hillside where my dad's plane crashed was not only in rough terrain and hard to get to,* but the area was soaked to the bone and was too muddy to navigate with the equipment they'd've needed. By the time they could get to it, a month later, they discovered that the wreckage had all been stolen. All that remained were some wires and some paneling.

Anyway.

Clearly I am numb to this. I still can't believe he's dead. It. Is. The. Weirdest. Feeling.

* The crash was reported by an ATV rider. Besides sightseeing - the hills a lovely view from the air - that activity is about all that can be done there.

[Richardo]

1. .

:hug:

[bertha katzenengel]

6. .

:hug: TY, Richardo

[madrchsod]

2. ...........

:hug:

[bertha katzenengel]

7. TY, madrchsod

:hug:

[Heidi]

3. ((((((((bertha))))))))))

:hug: :hug:


Plus, from your godkitty, The Wiley and Excellent Boy Cat Named Ginger: :loveya:

[bertha katzenengel]

8. oh, dearest Heidi, thank you

:hug: :hug: :hug: For you, Wesley, and the Wiley and Excellent Boy Cat Named Ginger.

:loveya:

[Zuiderelle]

4. That's so odd for them not to have recovered the plane.

Seriously, how many plane crashes are there that they couldn't make it a priority to get to that.

I'm sorry, Bertha... it must feel very odd having that loose end out there. I'm glad that he didn't suffer at least. :(

Wish I had words that could comfort you, but I do have this... :hug:

[bertha katzenengel]

9. I learned that procedurally, it wasn't a priority.

Single fatality, experimental plane. . . . It sucks, but that's the way it is.

:hug: is comforting. TY, dearest.

[ThomCat]

5. That is good that it was instant.

I think that's the most important part. :hug:

I hope you are okay.

[bertha katzenengel]

10. Thom, thank you. I am okay.

I may break down at some time in the next few days, but that won't mean I'm not okay. (Did that make sense?)

:hug:

[ThomCat]

11. Yes, that definitely makes sense.

:hug:

You still have some grieving to do, but that's healthy for you to work through.

[Gormy Cuss]

12. Aw, bertha.

I hope that the coroner's report helps you through the next stage of grief. It is a weird feeling to lose someone so suddenly. Take comfort in the fact that he did not suffer for more than a few seconds.

I'm sorry, bertha. :hug:

[zanne]

13. I'm glad that you got the report.

I'd be wondering, too. I'm so sorry for your loss; I remember when it had just happened. You must be very relieved to know that your father didn't suffer. (That would've been my biggest concern). I hope you're doing a bit better.

[raccoon]

14. I feel your pain. My mother died 5 years ago, and I still miss her.

Guess I always will. :hug:

[tigereye]

15. again, I am sorry Bertha, but sometimes it is good to know as many facts as

you can - I think it helps to put things in perspective.


I have often thought that although no one wants to die, it may be better to die doing what you love - as opposed to the alternative. (not sure, though - it's not good to be terrified, either.)


:hug:

[RedShoes]

16. I am so sorry for your loss, and glad that you have some answers.

I hope you satisfy the emotional loose ends of estrangement. I was estranged from my mother for years, and then one day she was diagnosed with cancer, and I forgot what the fight was about. The cancer was rare and it is usually deadly (she had a five per cent chance of survival and DID, because she is a fighter, and Johns Hopkins is the best freakin' hospital on the face of planet earth, bar NONE)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

17. My dear Bertha...

I hope this report will help you get some closure on your dad's death...

Wish I had more than cyber-hugs to give you, but that's all I can manage now...

:hug: :hug:


And, IMHO anyway, you are anything but weird or maudlin...

Thanks for letting us know, sweetie...:hug: :loveya: