GD:P Janitorial Services Status Report

[ElboRuum]

1. I've filled out a rec form for 250 replacement escape pods. We're expecting delivery within the next couple of days. Until then, Janitorial Services recommends using caution when entering, as numerous hull breaches have been reported due to people throwing caustic remarks at one another and missing, hitting the walls instead.

2. All toilet paper and paper towel dispensers are now refilled. It seems that there's been an overuse lately due to all of the flung poo over satiric wit. Recommend that the New Yorker borrow our :sarcasm: smilie until they can get a proper one to indicate satire.

3. It was a long process, but the last of the toilets have been unplugged. Apparently, intellectual swirlies were the culprit and people were losing hair. It was only a matter of time before the traps plugged up.

4. Hazmat crews are still working to get the vitriol, bile, piss, and vinegar out of the drains. While this doesn't present a significant health hazard in small dosages, people may be generally overcome with exposures lasting more than 20 minutes. Besides, the odor is far beyond the limits of unpleasantness so, please, stay away from contaminated areas wherever possible.

That's all for now.

[Blue-Jay]

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