My platform as future Governor of California

[LisaM]

Once I am governor of California, I am going to first sign an executive order demanding that the Anaheim Ducks trade Sergei Federov back to the Detroit Red Wings.

Next, I will return the Lakers to Minneapolis and let California do what it will with the Timberwolves.

Third, I will return the Dodgers and the Giants to New York. Los Angeles can have the Mets.

I will then mandate that any movie, television series, or other entertainment produced in California and based on an existing book or play be true to the original script (no "Pa Ingalls" without a beard, no removing "Glorfindel" from Lord of the Rings.")

I will not let them cut down any more redwoods or giant sequoia.

I will hold an annual "Big Valley Days", honoring Barbara Stanwyck.

I will send the Motown studios back to Detroit ("Hitsville".)

Finally, I will remove the name "Reagan" from any public building!

[slackmaster]

1. You're on my short list

Along with Angelyne and Gary Coleman.

[ronnykmarshall]

2. I don't THANK so!

You can do the last two, but forget out taking the Giants and the Lakers.

I'd love for Motown to return home to Detroit, but sadly there's nothing left to send home.

[cherryperry]

3. I will vote for you but only if you promise to keep the Giants! n/t

[LisaM]

4. Hmmm. Well, okay, I guess that's all right.

My 6-year old nephew lives in San Francisco and he would probably be upset if I moved the team, so I'll give you that one.

Not budging on Sergei, though.

[Semi_subversive]

5. I'll vote for you twice

if you dump the Giants and make sure the A's stay put.

[LisaM]

6. Wow, the Giants seem to be the hot button issue

Can someone let Gray Davis know about this?

I already promised to keep them. Of course, I originally promised to ship them, so who cares? Okay, they're gone. If the A's fans all vote twice, that will help me win. Kyle might whine for a while but he's only six; he'll forget. I'm not sure Philadelphia cares about getting the A's back (that's where they first were; correct?) so they are probably safe. I will mandate better attendance at their games, though.

[JohnKleeb]

7. yeah the A's were originally in Philly

then Kansas City, and now Oakland, can you remove the Yankees from baseball please?

[Sean Reynolds]

8. Can you kick Karl Malone in the ass for me?

:shrug:

[LisaM]

9. Can I, as Gov. of California, remove the Yankees from MLB?

It's kind of a tall order. I can try to sandbag every game they play in California - ban their best players from crossing into the state, turn the fans off and on when they're batting - oh, wait, that's what goes on in Minnesota!, and other sundry annoying things, but I'm not sure I can simply remove them from baseball.

As far as kicking Karl Malone's ass, yes, that's doable (I remember when he caused Isiah to have to get 47 stitches - the Mailman will be mailed back as "not deliverable at this address.")

[LisaM]

10. One more addition to the platform...

Charles White's "Phantom Touchdown" from the 1979 Rose Bowl will be invalidated. Michigan wins!