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The Guardian: "George, we've got just the job for you" (Share your job recs for W.)

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philosophie_en_rose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 04:49 PM
Original message
The Guardian: "George, we've got just the job for you" (Share your job recs for W.)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/nov/05/george-bush-usa

"As of today, George W Bush has exactly 77 days left to put his CV in order, a difficult task complicated by the fact that whatever he's done as president, he hasn't done much of it lately. There aren't many positions out there suited to a former world leader and professional lame duck, but a few high-profile vacancies have presented themselves in recent weeks, and more are bound to arise as the year draws to a close. There must be some job the man can do competently. He still has so much to give." (bwahahaha!)

The new Doctor Who Ever since David Tennant announced he was handing in his sonic screwdriver, speculation over his potential replacement has been rife. But not one person - correct me if I'm wrong - has so far suggested Bush for the role. The surprise when Tennant morphed into the former president on Christmas Day would therefore be enormous, and huge ratings for the first two episodes would be guaranteed. It's hard to see him lasting long, but perhaps he'll turn his inability to say "reverse the polarity of the neutron flow" into a charming character flaw.

Paris Hilton's new best friend "This has never been considered a job for life, or even long-term employment, but Paris is currently in the market for someone who is "hot, who can keep up with me, and most of all, who is real, and won't be a backstabber". She's also looking in London, unfortunately. But if he can do the accent well enough to fool Paris Hilton (and how hard will that be, do you think?), he might also be able to convince her that he is both hot and real. And he's the former president of the United States of America, so it's not as if she'll recognise him."

Sarah Palin's running mate, 2012 "A Palin-Bush partnership could provide the Republicans with the ultimate "maverick-anti-maverick" ticket four years from now. The 22nd amendment constitution prevents a two-term president from seeking the office again, but does the US constitution say anything about him becoming vice president and then acceding to the office through the sudden incapacitation of a phenomenally unpopular president? Actually it does - the 12th amendment states that "no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States" - but does Sarah Palin know that? No. Is she going to read about it in the Guardian? No."

Other suggestions (with text at the link) included:
Presenter, Friday Night with Dubya (replacing Jonathan Ross)
Tour guide, presidential library (bwahahahaha!)
Manager, Watford FC (FC = Football Club = Soccer Team)
Star, W: the Musical
Host, MTV Awards
Interior minister, Iran
Biographer, George Bush Sr
Leader, North Korea
Presenter, Top Gear (NOOOOOOO!)

What job would you suggest he do? :rofl:
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 04:56 PM
Response to Original message
1. Hire himself out as a bad example
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philosophie_en_rose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 04:57 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. But we get that for free!
:bounce:
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AlCzervik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 04:58 PM
Response to Original message
3. Land mine detector?
Wal*mart door greeter, Amway?
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MrCoffee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 05:00 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. Wal Mart door greeter! PERFECT!
Welcome to your new economy, fuckwit.
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philosophie_en_rose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 05:00 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. Walmart door greeter sounds about right.
I bet he'd ask to see receipts.
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hamsterjill Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-06-08 05:03 PM
Response to Reply #5
29. Yeah, and slap women on the rear, too!
n/t
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 05:01 PM
Response to Original message
6. How could he drive cars and talk about them for a living when he can't even say a sentance or
ride a bike without wiping out?

Though I like the idea just for the weeping and gnashing of teeth from a few denizens of Teh lounge.
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mikeytherat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 05:03 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. He could be the new "Stig." Except he'd only get to the first corner on each lap.
Sort of an Anti-Stig, really.

mikey_the_rat
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 05:10 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. Which brings to mind the perfect job.
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DarkTirade Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 05:05 PM
Response to Original message
8. Village Idiot.
Duh.
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flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 05:13 PM
Response to Original message
10. Goalie, Manchester United.
That ought to help Chelsea out. Plus watching him take a shot to the nads/face would be brilliant!
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Rambis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-06-08 05:08 PM
Response to Reply #10
30. Hey!
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Gidney N Cloyd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 05:40 PM
Response to Original message
11. Don't prisons usually ASSIGN you a job?
What's all this recommending and suggesting shit?
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MorningGlow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 05:46 PM
Response to Original message
12. Segway tester
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Tommy_Carcetti Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 05:47 PM
Response to Original message
13. George the Septic Sludge Scraper. nt
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TZ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 05:51 PM
Response to Original message
14. horse shit shoveler
And not because he's a wanna be cowboy...Either that of Chimpanzee zoo keeper--flinging feces is his strengh!
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FKA MNChimpH8R Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 06:54 PM
Response to Original message
15. Waterboard tester
springs to mind.
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realisticphish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 07:07 PM
Response to Original message
16. BLASPHEMY
W as The Doctor ????????
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philosophie_en_rose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-06-08 11:58 AM
Response to Reply #16
26. Agreed.
But I didn't write it. :) He's more like a Slitheen, really.
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realisticphish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-06-08 07:24 PM
Response to Reply #26
32. heh
and maybe cheney is just an advanced battle suit for Daleks :shrug:
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KamaAina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 07:09 PM
Response to Original message
17. Whiskey taster
on second thought, the distillery would soon be out of business due to a sudden shortage of inventory.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 07:10 PM
Response to Original message
18. Obama's shoe shine boy
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sakabatou Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 09:22 PM
Response to Original message
19. Front line soldier in Iraq, private.
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BleedingHeartRN Donating Member (226 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 09:47 PM
Response to Original message
20. South Texas Border Patrol
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femmocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 10:14 PM
Response to Original message
21. License-plate maker. n/t
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latebloomer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 10:16 PM
Response to Original message
22. pretzel tester
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LibDemAlways Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 10:37 PM
Response to Original message
23. Thanks to his family fortune and generous government
pension the chimp will most likely never work again, unless collecting a fat paycheck for reading the occasional short speech in front of a friendly corporate audience can be considered work. I would imagine most days he'll be found occupying a seat at the bar of the 19th hole at some private Dallas country club, gulping down Jack Daniels, and telling off-color jokes to a bunch of smug, old, pasty repukes.
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TroglodyteScholar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 11:14 PM
Response to Original message
24. I wouldn't trust that cretin to flip my Whopper. n/t
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FKA MNChimpH8R Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-06-08 02:24 PM
Response to Reply #24
27. And you don't even have to flip Whoppers because
they're flame broiled!.

Wish i had a Whopper or, better still, a Wendy's Baconator right now. :9
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curse of greyface Donating Member (594 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-05-08 11:16 PM
Response to Original message
25. Dancing with the Stars... OMG he would fit right in. nt
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Blue_Tires Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-06-08 05:00 PM
Response to Original message
28. COACH OF THE GODDAMNED OAKLAND RAIDERS!!!!!!!111!
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jobycom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-06-08 08:15 PM
Response to Reply #28
34. Couldn't do worse, I guess. nt
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LiberalEsto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-06-08 05:56 PM
Response to Original message
31. Beggar
or better yet, Fugitive-from-Justice.
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Initech Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-06-08 08:07 PM
Response to Original message
33. Georgie W's Door To Door Brush Clearing Service
Edited on Thu Nov-06-08 08:08 PM by EOO
Motto: Ridding America of one nasty bush at a time.
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jobycom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-06-08 08:19 PM
Response to Original message
35. He could star in the new "Grand Theft Auto: Baghdad, Outside the Green" video game.
Filmed on location, of course.
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