Men of the Lounge: Please explain the adjusting your package thing to me

[LynneSin]

Seriously can't you just tuck it in there and leave it alone for the rest of the day??

[TZ]

1. IBTL!!!

:D :popcorn:

[LynneSin]

2. what was so dirty about this thread

I'm taking about their packages what the hell are you thinking about?

[Dr. Strange]

3. Something about the gag reflex.

[dem629]

116. It is full of misandry.

Hey, why not? If the situation were reversed (somehow...) there would no doubt be cries of misogyny.

[madinmaryland]

27. Easy there, Snyder. I know you are thinking about Tony Romo!!!

:rofl:

[LynneSin]

148. Boy you were wrong!

:rofl:

[Midlodemocrat]

4. They're not adjusting. They're checking.

To make sure it's still there. They're all convinced that we were born with one as well and somehow lost it.


:hide:

[MorningGlow]

9. Nice post, Dr. Freud

:hi:

[old mark]

95. I often think Freud was a little funny...That cigar thing and all...nt

[Javaman]

43. there are those who check and then there are those who adjust. nt

[Guava Jelly]

5. Well nobody else is going to adjust it for me

:hide:

[Midlodemocrat]

You don't know that. You're assuming. And, you know what they say.

:rofl:

[Guava Jelly]

15. Maybe I'll start asking

Say exscuse me maam, could you do something for me? :silly: on second thought. Maybe that isn't such a good idea

[Midlodemocrat]

I think this is definitely a case of know thy audience.

[Guava Jelly]

31. No shit.

Now if I could only find my Audience :yoiks:

[arcadian]

6. What's that thing with horses?

Where their intestines get all wrapped and tied up around from walking all day. It's similar.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

53. Some kind of torsion, I think...nt

[Tuesday Afternoon]

126. colic?

Colic in horses is defined as abdominal pain, but it is a clinical sign rather than a diagnosis. The term colic can encompass all forms of gastrointestinal conditions which cause pain as well as other causes of abdominal pain not involving the gastrointestinal tract. The most common forms of colic are gastrointestinal in nature and are most often related to colonic disturbance. There are a variety of different causes of colic, some of which can prove fatal without surgical intervention. Colic surgery is usually an expensive procedure as it is major abdominal surgery, often with intensive aftercare. Among domesticated horses, colic is a major cause of premature death. The incidence of colic in the general horse population has been estimated between 10 and 11 percent on an annual basis. It is important that any person who owns or works with horses be able to recognize the signs of colic and determine whether or not a veterinarian should be called

more at link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horse_colic

[Tektonik]

7. Sometimes it gets sweaty

or our underwear somehow twists and my balls kvetch. Come on now it's a recipe for disaster: sweat, hair, spongy tissue.

I bet if your underboob was hairy, you'd scratch it all day

[redqueen]

22. I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.

[Javaman]

44. Thanks, Elaine. nt

[LynneSin]

62. OMG that episode was on Seinfeld last night - it was BREATHTAKING

:rofl:

[redqueen]

63. I WAS IN THE POOL!

One of the best, that one is. :7

[pokerfan]

129. It shrinks?

Like a frightened turtle!

[The Doctor.]

74. Two words;

"Commando"

Actually, I think that's three words.

[foxfeet]

59. What do you mean, "if?"

:P

[motely36]

8. wow...just wow

IBTL

[redqueen]

10. Oh Lynne...

I do adore you.

:D

:popcorn:

[LynneSin]

11. well what if I stood around all day picking my ass or adjusting my boobs

you'd question my sanity

[Midlodemocrat]

12. Maybe. Maybe not.

[redqueen]

13. Noooooo...

I'd just laugh. :D



But... wait... your boobs don't require any fiddling ever, all day long?

[Midlodemocrat]

14. Seriously. How can that be?

:rofl:

[redqueen]

16. Maybe she has the perfect bra.

I dunno... I think I fiddle with mine even when it's not required sometimes.

I get bored easily. :P

[Midlodemocrat]

20. I have yet to find the perfect bra.

Came close a few years back, but they discontinued them. :cry:

[skygazer]

91. Why do they always discontinue the good ones?

That always happens to me, too. x(

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

100. That's cause ya buy them at fucking Big Lots

[redqueen]

112. ...

:rofl:

[Midlodemocrat]

153. Liar. Not me. My friend, Dana.

[LynneSin]

17. well first thing in the morning when they get tucked in there

but you know, if the bra fits well you should be fine for the rest of the day.

[redqueen]

18. Bras never fit me well.

Someone put a bra hex on me or something. x(

[LynneSin]

23. I use to work at Victoria's Secret - I know how to fit a bra

and well for daily use buy something practical

[NewJeffCT]

38. You need to be unhexed

then. Easy process.

[FloridaJudy]

121. I frickin' *hate* underwires!

The fool things always seem to work their way up and stab me in the armpit at the most inappropriate moments - like at classy dinner parties or during job interviews. The guy who came up with those has to have been a member of the Spanish Inquisition during a previous incarnation.

[arcadian]

26. I wouldn't

:D

[PVnRT]

47. I'll be in my bunk...

[racaulk]

76. Some of us would question your sanity even if you didn't!

But thanks for that mental image. :P

[DarkTirade]

110. Yes, but if a guy wore some kind of penis-bra, it would look like he had a constant boner all the

time.

For instance, male ballet dancers have to wear something like that.
?v=0

Would you rather see that, or see a guy feel a need to adjust himself every now and then? :shrug:

[krispos42]

19. And you don't adjust your boobs in your bra a few times a day???

It protrudes and it needs adjustment once in a while!!!



:P

[LynneSin]

25. Once a day is usually all I need

and if I do need to adjust them I at least do it in private.

[redqueen]

28. And there's the kicker. We do that shit in private.

Not standing in front of some guy's desk.

Maybe they're trying to call our attention to that area. :eyes:

[krispos42]

30. I think you do it more often than you realize

I think you make minor adjustments all day and don't really realize it. A pluck here, a body twist there, maybe a shimmy or a jiggle there...

Most guys do it in subtle ways. "Adjusting" the beltline is often really a package adjustment. So is taking an extra wide step. It lets the naughty bits re-align.

Discretely!

You're surrounded by men constantly adjusting their packages!!!

:D

[Bake]

21. Obviously you have never sat on your own boobs.

If you had, you wouldn't ask.

Bake

[TZ]

24. Now there's a visual!

:rofl:

[Midlodemocrat]

29. No, but if I go braless when I'm walking at a fast clip, I risk broken ankles.

Bruised at the very least.

:woohoo:

[madinmaryland]

34. Your post is worthless without pictures!

:evilgrin:

[Missy Vixen]

36. You aren't afflicted with the "National Geographic Rack", are you?

What is up with that, anyway? The minute we all turn forty, it's -- well, I'd get the thread locked.

:woohoo:
Julie

[Arugula Latte]

65. Breastfeeding ... Well, let's just say it kinda de-perked the girls.

:(

[Missy Vixen]

93. Here's the scariest thing

I never breastfed.

I'm thinking this is genetic. ;-( Then again, without the current emphasis on women remaining hawt until they die, I probably wouldn't even care. Now, I feel weird. :scared:

Julie

[NNadir]

113. This reminds me of the first months of my wife's pregnancy.

She said, "Don't get used to them Bub, it's temporary!"

Sigh.

That proved to be true. For the next seven years, two sons worth, the majority of time I got to look at them there was a head in the way.

Both of my boys weaned after they were three, and both of them are extraordinarily healthy and though they lived on boobs, have not been boobs.

Now that I get to look unobstructed at the boobs that remain I say, adjusting my package, they are still very beautiful boobs. They look just fine and they make me think of good health, good parenting and extraordinary love in extraordinarily happy times.

[LeftyMom]

133. I just want to say it's a shame such an awesome, mature post is buried in the middle of such a silly

thread.

[redqueen]

137. Isn't it though? (nt)

[NNadir]

156. Thank you. That's very kind of you to say.

I think the thread is fun and funny.

But it is always a pleasure to advocate for breast feeding, particularly given the way things are going these days.

It was truly a joy for the whole family and it made for wonderful bonding between all of us.

It saved us a lot of money and time too, from what I'm told. I don't think we ever owned a baby bottle, much less sterilized or bought stuff for one. It was very convenient once you got over ignoring the stuff from the peanut galleries.

[Arugula Latte]

143. It's definitely worth it.

I mean, really, that's what they're there for, in spite of what our culture says! :)

My kids are 11 and 8 and have always been extremely healthy (and smart, if I do say so). They weren't weaned totally until after they turned two.

The equipment isn't bad, just a wee bit farther south these days.

[hunter]

35. Packages change size and shape all day.

Sometimes you don't know how far down they are dangling.

[lizziegrace]

40. Hehe...

:rofl:

[Javaman]

45. oh dude....

:spray: :rofl:

you speak the gospel!!!

[DevonRex]

88. Now that was funny. nt

[Radical Activist]

132. lol Good way of putting it. n/t

[Marrah_G]

147. o. m. g.

:rofl:

[harmonicon]

32. no way, dude

you try having your genitals hanging down in front of your pelvis. What if your liver or a kidney were free-floating? You need to keep that shit safe, comfortable, and secure.

[Zuni]

33. it ain't that easy

it moves around, gets uncomfortable

if your sack ain't right, then you ain't right, period.

[LostinVA]

37. Or, at the very least, do it BEFORE you leave the men's room

[originalpckelly]

158. I tried that once, let's just say that the cops were none too pleased.

:evilgrin:

[MrCoffee]

39. Origami Junk

You would not believe how bent/tangled/folded/spindled/mutilated it gets sometimes.

[qb]

41. Are you concerned with the quick nonchalant adjustment...

or the serious reach-inside-the-pants-and-set-everything-straight maneuver?

[Bake]

46. Sometimes you just have to do it.

The Big Adjustment.

Note: probably not a good idea to do this in the elevator or other semi-public place.

Bake

[Javaman]

42. as a guy, if I have to "adjust" the boys, I usually take it to the bathroom...

however, I have a tech that comes and services one of our machines here. Damn, if that guy doesn't have his hands full of tools, he has his hands full of his bits.

I finally had to say something to him.

me: dude, if you have to move things around, please take it to the bathroom.

him: what?

me: this is a professional office...

(he grabs himself)

me: that, that right there!

him: what? oh...(blush) sorry.

for this guy, it's a nervous behavior, like constantly adjusting ones glasses. But man, dude, are you so insecure that you have to make sure they are there ever single frigging moment of the day?

[flvegan]

48. This thread is nuts.

[TZ]

49. .

You have a lot of balls for saying that!

[Richardo]

50. .

[PVnRT]

51. flvegan wins. Go ahead and lock the thread.

[TK421]

52. It's not that simple, I wish it were....

What REALLY sucks is if the pants I'm wearing happen to be a little tight and I'm sitting down most of the time at work...well, how can I put this delicately..things just move around if you stand up.
Then, when you go to sit back down, you have to repeat the process.

FYI: sitting on a stray nut is NOT a very pleasant experience.

[Aristus]

54. I have to adjust on a regular basis, or it'll get hung up around my knees.

:P

Seriously though, if I didn't have to walk, sit down or, you know, wear clothing, it wouldn't be a problem. Daily life has its hazards.

[Fire Walk With Me]

55. No "Dick in the box" Christmas present for you!

x(

[hunter]

150. No Pat Boone albums for you...

:P

[edbermac]

56. It just doesn't stay in one place all day.

I work in an office and I'm always in and out of my chair, so it's always shifting position.

A guy who sits or stands if it's in a bad position is in for a heap of pain. :hurts:

[LeftinOH]

57. The "package" comprises more than one component -of differing sizes

and dimensions; nothing ever 'stays put'. The 'retractable' models on most other mammals are better designed.

[volstork]

58. Where do your testicles go

when you sit? Are they up top or underneath? How do you sit with your legs crossed?
I have asked these questions to every man I have ever dated, and never get a reasonable answer....


(Now, running through my mind: "Beans and franks, Beans and franks, Beans and franks, Beans and franks.")

[LynneSin]

61. I swear to god if I had to deal with stuff like them I'd have them SNIPPED off

who needs all these issues every day of your life

[redqueen]

64. !

:o

You can't be serious!

They're so freaky and interesting-looking... and they move around as if they were made of magic. :wow:

[LynneSin]

69. My boobs do that too and I only need to adjust them once a day

that's enough for me

[volstork]

66. SEE! Nobody here

will answer either!

[unpossibles]

73. the truth?

they go wherever they can. Sometimes they end up just ...sitting there at the bottom, sometimes they shrink up a bit and stay close, and sometimes (rarely) they get twisted around...er... frank.

It's really difficult to describe. Anyone want photo diagrams?

[FloridaJudy]

123. This thread is useless without pictures

Allow me to remedy that...

[kath]

77. Someone please do us a service and answer volstork's questions

This was crossposted - thanks, unpossibles.

Diagrams would be helpful. :7

[Throd]

80. As a guy with very large testicles I can attest to it being problematic

If they were any bigger, they could appear in a medical journal. I really wish they were smaller in the same way that women with really big boobs wish theirs were smaller.

They follow the path of least resistance so I wear rather loose underwear to keep from hurting myself. Sitting with my legs crossed is most uncomfortable. If I wore tighty whities they would ache after a few hours. Every now and then I will actually sit on one which is quite painful.

Sorry to be somewhat graphic, but you asked for a reasonable answer.

[madinmaryland]

82. You must be a fisherman! Nice fish tale!!!

[Throd]

83. Oh I wish it weren't true

Seriously, which part of what I just described sounds like something to brag about?

[Arugula Latte]

101. I've wondered that ...

The banana has to commit to either right or left, but can the kiwis split the difference down the middle? :shrug:

[Bake]

138. Yes.

They can.

Bake

[Arugula Latte]

144. Okay, thanks ... Now I know.

This should be one of those NBC "The More You Know" public service announcements. :)

[ElboRuum]

118. Somebody get volstork a set of balls...

...and see if they EVER get sat on. Maybe once. Never twice.

[volstork]

120. Thank you for the offer, but I

have enough trouble dealing with my own parts...

Thank you, though to Throd for the direct answer. It DOES seem like they would often get in the way-- hence my curiosity.

[MilesColtrane]

135. Just like a 500 pound gorilla, they go wherever they want to.

We learn early on to do what's necessary to alleviate a conflict, because they allow no quarter.

[cboy4]

60. I'm more concerned with weighing it

To make sure I don't exceed any limitations when it has to be there overnight.

[Arugula Latte]

67. Maybe men can use packing tape to keep their package intact.

[ElboRuum]

119. Hmm...

I'm thinking that the hirsute area of which you speak would not at all enjoy the idea of being held in place with packing tape.

[RetroLounge]

68. Make you a deal.

You adjust my package and I'll adjust yours.

Deal?

:shrug:

RL

[unpossibles]

70. Yes we can. HOWEVER it doesn't just sit there either

sometimes when we walk or sit, things get a bit ...uh.. twisted or go the wrong way. Sometimes they get sweaty too.

It's really not easy to explain.

[Jamastiene]

71. If they would make that ball bra idea I envisioned,

they wouldn't have that problem. :evilgrin:

[Arugula Latte]

154. Someone beat ya to it:

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/31061/nut_bra/

[TrogL]

72. It kinda moves around on its own and occasionally doesn't fit

...especially when Craftygal is up to her tricks.

[kath]

78. It moves around on its own?!! So, it really IS a trouser snake...

[rug]

75. If I don't adjust it it might get knotted.

[Bake]

139. OK, now you're just bragging.

:rofl:

Bake

[racaulk]

79. God delivered it, I signed for it, the world keeps on spinnin'.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

81. This is what my BF told me.

He has to wear whitie-tightys for support for his balls.

He said that he does not understand why guys wear tight jeans because it would be painful for him.


=========SUBJECT CHANGE==========
Note to the ladies: If you have to adjust your bra constantly, you need to be fitted properly. A well fitting bra should not ride up and bind.

Measure your rib cage at the bottom of your boobs. Snugly but not tightly. That is your band size--the number. Then measure around the fullest part of the boob. The difference in inches tells you your cup size. I'm not sure what the formula is. You can probably find it on line. Various brands fit differently.

Example: I'm a 42B, which is a very difficult size to find. The manufacturers assume that if a woman has large ribs, she must be large in the cup. Not true.

[ACTION BASTARD]

84. Ladies, please understand that sometimes the contents may shift during transit.

Some packages are bigger and "bulkier" than others. Depending how their "wrapped" and the speed of transport, the contents may shift, requiring constant or the occasional adjustment.

So please, ladies, give us a little leeway on this.

[Deja Q]

85. Well:

1. The blockn'tackle tend to sway back and forth. The bigger the worser.
2. We're not going to use superglue to keep it in place.
3. You know how Robert Plant got his trademark vocals? Well, what he did to his olives is something we're not going to do to ours.
4. We do it to impress you lot. :P

[lost-in-nj]

86. so there is a problem here????`

:shrug:





I apologize in advance if this gets locked


:rofl:


:hi:


lost

[madinmaryland]

89. WTF, Gorn?

:rofl:

[racaulk]

92. That's hot! w00t!

:D

[DevonRex]

87. OMG. ROFLMAO!!!!! *SNORT*

No, really. I did guffaw over this one. I want to know the answer to that, too.

[GOPisEvil]

90. Objects may settle during transit.

Seriously, if you had a package, you would understand.

[LynneSin]

105. I don't and you're losing this week to me in Fantasy Football

I want that championship this year and there is no Avenging Finn standing in my way

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

94. I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard at a Lounge thread.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[rcrush]

96. Sometimes it itches! It gets sweaty down there!

[amitten]

128. And men always joke that women are stinky down there...

I think FDS for Men is not the worst idea I've ever heard. :D

[HEyHEY]

97. If your flaps needed adjusting, wouldn't you adjust them?

Same thing.

[redqueen]

117. !

:spray:

[leftofthedial]

98. sorry. I was spitting

and I didn't hear what you said.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

99. Sometimes you just gotta itch

[slutticus]

102. Hell no. If you had one you'd play with it all day too

:freak:

:D

[Throd]

103. What do you do when your "lady bacon" goes askew?

[ACTION BASTARD]

160. I just threw up in my mouth a little.

[hedgehog]

104. Thanks to lost luggage problems, my husband now has tighty whities from

three different continents. I'm still trying to figure out why Swiss underwear has two flies opening to either side and Brazillain underwear has no fly at all.





My husband prefers not to discuss this.

[FarLeftRage]

106. I find myself doing more "adjusting" at night

When I am in bed trying to sleep.
During the day, oddly enough I have no problems...

[sniffa]

107. Yeah you try sweating your balls off

and having them stick to your thighs.

And don't even get me started on jock itch.

[UndertheOcean]

108. You're just jealous you don't have one !

[Jamastiene]

114. One of my straight friends once asked her male playmate if she could play with his...

He told her, "No, you broke yours off. You ain't touching mine!" :rofl:

[mainegreen]

109. They're mine, I own them, I can touch them if I want to.

x(

[hedgehog]

111. Because they want to make sure there's no kudzu in there?

[Ellipsis]

115. Out of Velcro

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQum9ZOO8tY

[Fire Walk With Me]

122. The new Rick Roll should be to place the OP in any GDP thread:

Seriously can't you just tuck it in there and leave it alone for the rest of the day??

[nickgutierrez]

124. You have no idea just how uncomfortable those cups can be. n/t

[PaddyBlueEyes]

125. sometimes they just get in the way

especially when working with power tools, and wearing a tool belt..

[amitten]

127. I know a girl that publicly cootch-scratches.

I've known more than one actually.

Disturbing.

[Robeson]

130. Because my package is so large, it throws my back out if I keep it on one side...

...or the other for too long. Hence, I have to shift it. Can't speak for others.

[MilesColtrane]

131. Most adjustments concern the beans, and not the frank.

When things get twisty and pressure is being applied to bad places it's almost a reflex.

When the boys are askew an immediate remedy is required. Most civilized men will try to be discreet, but given the choice of discretion or collapsing on the floor in a fetal position and whimpering, we'll handle up.

[Lucian]

134. Because it can be a pain in the ass when it's out of place.

It's bothersome. And it's really uncomfortable when you sit on it.

[LynneSin]

136. Well maybe you should design something to keep those things tucked in right

Like a bra for your package

[Bake]

140. It's called "boxer shorts"

The Boys were meant to swing free.

Bake

[LynneSin]

142. Well then stop touching them all the time

nuff said.

Maybe that's why you don't like Rush - you're scratching your 'brains' all the time.

[TZ]

145. BWAHAHAHA!

I'm gonna have to remember that one....:rofl:

[Lucian]

149. They do.

They're called briefs. And even when you're wearing briefs, the package still goes out of place when you're moving around.

[LaraMN]

141. Whatever. Liars. They're stashing trail mix for "later".

:eyes:

[dawgmom]

146. I suppose that sometimes, there are so many packages that they have to move them around

Like in this example:


Oh, wait. Oh, dear. I guess that's not what you meant, is it?

[jakefrep]

151. I dare you to post this in GD.

You stand up, sit down, walk around, and sometimes things down there get folded, bound up, or twisted - thus requiring "adjustment" to restore order.

[BarenakedLady]

152. Mmmmm package...

Wait, what?

O8)

[Taverner]

155. Sometimes its in an unpleasant kink

And other times it is in a place that will become an unpleasant kink when we sit

[sarcasmo]

157. It's fine as long as it doesn't get excited.

[originalpckelly]

159. OK, it's called crotch language. Itchy and pinched or reciting a poem?

You decide.