nursing home or holiday inn?

[GreatCaesarsGhost]

recieved this from a friend:

No nursing home for me. I am checking into Holiday Inn somewhere! With the
average cost for a nursing home per
day reaching $188.00, there is a better way when we get old and feeble. I
have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term
stay discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77
a day for:

1. Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.

2. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.

Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer,
etc. Most have free
toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. They treat you
like a customer, not a patient.

$5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus
will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp). To meet other nice people,
call a church bus on Sundays.

For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the
nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere.
Otherwise, the cash keeps building up. It takes months to get into decent nursing
homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in
one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.

Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.

TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem.
They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience. The Inn has a night
security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are OK.
If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. If you fall and
break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a
suite for the rest of your life.

And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find
you, and probably check in for a few
days mini-vacation. The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask
for? Let me know if I should inquire
about a Group rate.

[Kamika]

1. really..

I doubt Holiday Inn will feed you, change your diapers, turn you over, emty your potty, wash you, talk to you, give you medical assistance when you need it etc.


Trust me.. the maids do not see if you're ok.. they will however probably take your money if you're passed out.

[burythehatchet]

3. Thanks for saying that

I was going to rant and decided against it because this was meant as a joke (I hope). I have served the elderly in nursing homes and assisted living communities and it is a world that 99% of the people can't imagine.

[Drifter]

2. Take a cruise ...

I read a story about a woman who booked herself on a life time cruise, because it was cheaper than going into a home.

Cheers
Drifter