So I had a party Sat. Night and a few DUers were there....

[RandomKoolzip]

and a good time was had by most. I got to meet WhitacreD-Wi, Eyesroll, and prolesunited for the first (and hopefully not last) time. Whitacre and his wife gave me a Jimmy Swaggart record (among other cool things, like a book about XTC) as a housewarming present. Later that evening he passed gas, to the wonderful, delighted amusement of nearby partygoers. I got to hear the full story of his race for the presidency of Wisconsin, and how Richard Nixon himself thwarted Whitacre's plans to re-invade Laos and steal their bauxite mines. Eyesroll's wistful stories of how she singlehandedly fought off pro-Diem rebels in Guam with only a bow and arrow back in '65 had us all in stitches. A word of warning, though, Whitacre and Eyesroll: one cigar a night is enough! Those two kept puffing these huge stogies, then stubbing them out minutes later, then lighting another. I asked them how much they cost, and Eyesroll spat tobacco debris at me and replied, "None of yer got-damn bidness, hotshot! But since you asked, 40 bucks each." In my opinion, you guys are just throwing your money away....But there I go, being nosy again!

Prolesunited is an incredibly nice person. Sparkling personality, charming laugh, but prone to a disturbing urge to scream "Viva Rehnquist!" at the top of her lungs while shooting her .38 at the ceiling of our apartment, nearly killing our upstairs neighbor's dog. Later that night, at the police station, it was revealed that prolesunited had ingested 900 mgs. of street-grade cat tranquilizer at the party. In her pockets, they found six sticks of leaky dynamite, a full grown iguana, and an autographed picture of Antonin Scalia. As she was being led away in handcuffs, she screamed, "Avenge me, boys! Avenge me!" We just laughed and continued drinking our black cows and playing Chutes and Ladders.

John Ashcroft himself finally had to come and shut the party down sometime around 9 AM monday morning. In fact, I'm still breathless from his goons truncheoning me! Oh well, thanks for coming you guys, and to those Chicagoan DUers who didn't come to our party.....You'll never know what you missed!

[commander bunnypants]

1. Sounds like a rockin good time

Sorry I dont live in Chicago

DDQM

[RandomKoolzip]

2. It was like the last days of Rome.

Total decadence, man.

[GOPisEvil]

3. No pictures!

Sounds like a good time. Every Chicago DUer I have met has been way cool!

[Blue-Jay]

4. I can't believe that Proles was there and didn't take a few pics.

Post 'em, babycakes!

[RandomKoolzip]

5. No, she didn't bring her camera.

Bust she DID bring her appetite for destruction. Poor proles, languishing in Cook County jail as we speak. Who wants to start a fund to pay her bond?

Jeez, I wish she did have a camera with her....Now none of you guys are gonna believe my account of the party!

[Blue-Jay]

10. Her account, as relayed to me....

rolleyes is a cutie. (This I already knew)

Whitacre is a tool. (This I also already knew) :D

Parking is a bitch. (I figured as much)

You have a pretty drum kit. (She didn't say if it was a Pearl, Tama, DW, or other)

No surgeries were performed at the party.

No singing Gorilla Grams. (Some party that is)

[RandomKoolzip]

16. LIES!!! DAMN LIES!!!

No, she's right about everything except Whitacre being a tool. He's actually a weiner. With gas.

Parking indeed sucks. (I never realized that, being as that we don't have a car...I apologize to everybody who tried to park on my street....what a plastic hassle, man!)

My kit is a Tama Artstar set from 1987. It's covered in maroon naugahyde. As is my wife right now, but that's a whole new thread.

[eyesroll]

6. (puff) (hack) (cough)

Oh, what was that? There was a party Saturday?
That explains why I woke up in the Cook County drunk tank this morning.

[RandomKoolzip]

12. There's pizza all over the ceiling....

And blood on the floor from that woodchuck you and Whitacre were gutting when the cops arrived to take proles away. What a night! You guys partied like it was 1959.

[Beer Snob-50]

7. I would think Mass. DUers

would throw an even less civilized party! Invite Mike Dukakis and John Kerry and hide the women and good china!

[RandomKoolzip]

17. It's not a contest...

But when Chicago DUers throw a party, we all have a Haymarket Riot of a time...

[madrchsod]

8. i think i owe proles a drink

this sunday..maybe she`ll forget....

[RandomKoolzip]

15. it would take CIA brainwashing to forget Saturday night.

Those memories will linger like the smell of Whitacre's farts.

[XNASA]

9. Sorry we couldn't make it.

But after a long day of being pampered at the hair salon, followed by a hearty lunch and then having to spend a few hours with the extended family....we were too exhausted to carry on.

We'll just have to get caught up on the 7th.

[RandomKoolzip]

14. Ees Hokay!

I understand. See you on the 7th! (And don't believe anything those guys might tell you! It's all lies!)

[dolo amber]

11. Meh

Wish I lived closer...I could've blown giant snot bubbles to amuse you all. :(

Sounds lovely, RKZ...and I'm glad to see you *finally* showed up for your Zappa/GbV thread. :D

[RandomKoolzip]

13. Ach...mein Gott in himmel...

I know...That thread! I can't get over the pummelling that was taking place in my absence. Character assassination always tastes bitterer when one isn't there to receive it. Justin Timberlake said that. Oh well, you and SLB missed out on one crazy party, so I'll consider that my revenge on you guys. And as for Whitacre....well, just having to be subjected to my repulsive personality and assinine opinions about music is enough to to make any man's spine curl. So I feel vindicated.

You woulda had a great time....

[Screaming Lord Byron]

19. It was more of a Character Bruising than an out-and-out assassination

Man, the party sounded great, though.

[RandomKoolzip]

22. Whatever it was, my butt is still red 'n' sore from that thread...

And it wasn't just a "party," it was a "par-tay."

[Whitacre D_WI]

18. I made a poop!

In my pants!

[RandomKoolzip]

20. So THAT was the stench!

We were all amazed by your willingness to own up to your farts. We couldn't decide if it was admirable or not.

[Whitacre D_WI]

21. I hid it behind the sofa!

Kitty ran away. :(

[RandomKoolzip]

23. Clever bastard.

Well, now we know how to make the kitty more social: feces!

[Whitacre D_WI]

24. I throw feces at my friends!

Hoo-hoo-hee-hee-ack! ack!

[RandomKoolzip]

25. Ladies and Gentlemen.....Kenneth Brannagh.

Let's give him a big hand! That was wonderful, Kenneth.