If my buddy, Jon doesn't get better coffee, I'm gonna stop passing out on his chesterfield

[HEyHEY]

That'll learn him. Seriously though, this is some bad Java. He's not even up yet... I think I may just go out and get some.

[SOteric]

1. Perhaps he's one of those tea-drinking types

and the coffee in his cupboard is 6 years old.

[astral]

2. Instant.

An 11-year old container of instant coffee generously offered in a cup of lukewarm water.
That's a tea-drinker for ya!

(true story!)