RabrrrrrrKid updated his letter to Santa today, using a fountain pen and Amalfi stationery

[Rabrrrrrr]

You may remember a few weeks ago I offered to you RabrrrrrrKid's letter to Santa, which he wrote with a Bel Age Platinum with music nib using black ink, writing in a flowing italic script in approximately 12-point size, and that, being formal international correspondence, of course he wrote it in French, which I translated for you. Well, he has updated his letter (written the same way, of course), and I translate it here below, which I do not so much to brag and force you into the awareness of how woefully inadequate your children are, but merely to show how proud I am of this wonderful child, not only for his zealous determination and ambition, but for his clarity on the true meaning of Christmas, a clarity which, I find to my dismay, the vast majority of humanity utterly fails to grasp:


Dear Santa,

In re: my written correspondence to you of November 18, 2008, in which I delineated my Christmas "wish list", I must humbly apologize for, though I do not wish to appear that I view Christmas purely as a time to be a recipient of the largess and goodwill of others, still, I failed to list one item which, in retrospect, I feel is essential and, though I should be willing to accept responsibility for my own failure of accidentally excluding it from my initial list, I pray your compassion and so send you, relying on your loving and forgiving nature, this proper list which is not so much updated as it is complete, me having failed the first time to include that one essential item, and not, as perhaps some of the lesser beings of planet so often do, merely adding to an already existing list an item only later thought of.

And so, without further testing and pushing the bounds of your always-appreciated and quite impressive patience, here is the list, with the previously forgotten item asterisked:

Limitless capacity to hate
Power over death
Power of death
Undying obedience of the proletariat (devotion irrelevant)
A military sufficient to subdue to the largest nations on earth
Sufficient funding for above
*For all human and animal things to look upon me and know only infinite fear and dread
Immunity from all human laws, as they are contrived by the weak for the weak
A battalion of construction workers who shall make for me a palace of my design
Sufficient funding for the above palace, circa US$80 billion
Staff
Barn Animal See and Say (Latvian version)
Wealth beyond the dreams of avarice
Rage to fuel my endless ambition for countless eternities

In loving sincerity, and again in a great sense of humble awareness of my errancy in sending you the previous "wish list" without due diligence of sufficient proofreading,
RabrrrrrrKid

/enc

[SOteric]

1. You must be so incredibly proud.

All that SOtericKid wanted was a new heart for Grandpa, the underacheiving little bitch.

[Rabrrrrrr]

2. I feel sorry for all you with stupid, inferior children. Christmastime must be an especial letdown.

[Midlodemocrat]

10. All the Midlos asked for was for Mommy to stop crying.

[NewJeffCT]

20. Still waiting on that one, I bet!

:P

[nuxvomica]

3. I love the way he misuses the word "me" to lend a childlike...

...quality to his prose. That is sure to endear him to Mr. Claus should he actually exist.

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. Well, he knows how to bend people to his iron and merciless will.

Such a cute kid!

[nickgutierrez]

5. If only we all had such ambition.

:D

[KittyWampus]

6. RabrrrrrrKid needs a hug...

[Shell Beau]

7. Have you looked into Mensa?

:7

[NNadir]

8. Geeze. All my kid asked for was a general solution algorithm for heat flow differential equations.

for retangular slabs.

I feel embarassed.

All of the other 4th graders seem well ahead of him, having approximated general solutions for prolate spheriods in n-dimensional convex spacetime tensors, and now of course I have to compare him to your kid.

That does it.

He's grounded.

[Rabrrrrrr]

9. Pffft. Those can be found in textbooks. Let the lower humanoids learn the skills;

the top is for the one who has the most will to dominate and mold the world to his creative hate.

[NNadir]

11. I realize that and have explained that. But it's no use. I recognize that we are failures as a

family.

Your family sounds like true Bush's and I expect you to be in the thick of the fight with Jenna and Babs II for the prize of world domination.

[Rabrrrrrr]

16. You're not failures entirely - I always need proles to suffer at my hands`

and do the work to which I am destined to rule over.

I mean, Rabrrrrrrkid is destined to rule over.

:blush:

[matcom]

12. I got RabrrrrrrKid an Etcha-Sketch

hope that is ok. Sent it USPS but not priority so watch for it

[Rabrrrrrr]

13. A solid gold etcha-sketch of hate? With laserbeams on top?

Oooh, I hope it has laserbeams!

:applause:

[matcom]

14. it has a My Little Pony sticker on top

hope that is just as good

[Rabrrrrrr]

17. With the head ripped off the sticker?

[matcom]

18. no but the eyes move around when you shake the Etcha-Sketch

those 'rolly-polly' plastic eyes that swirl in circles

oh and she is pink. that is the color of power I hear

[Rabrrrrrr]

19. RabrrrrrrKid tells me you will be the first in the gulag.

I love how he so utterly "gets" Christmas!

He's so giving!

:cry:

[Kutjara]

15. You only have yourself to blame for naming him Damien. n/t