now I just feel like an idiot....... but, wait!

[harmonicon]

No, what the fuck? I mean, yeah, I'm still an idiot, but I'm not that dense, even when drunk. She wasn't even there anyway. What does she know, right? It doesn't mean that her advice wasn't spot on none the less :( *sigh*

fucking hell

Day two of not drinking brings illumination. Unfortunately, the illumination is no more helpful than the drunk illumination, just better reasoned. Sure, I feel worse for some things, but realise also that I was stupid to capitulate to other things that I couldn't bother to coherently argue when drunk. Oh well.

edited to add: I need to get Chris, and especially Lauren's take on this. They would have alerted me at the time if something was up. Hmmm.

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

1. Are you trying to stop drinking?

Have you considered AA?

[harmonicon]

2. just for the next few weeks

I've been drinking WAY too much the last few months for various reasons, but now I have shit loads of work that's piled up, so I told myself that I can't have another drink until it's done. I don't think I need AA. I just need to be more responsible, as I generally have been for most of my life. Still, it's a good thing that I had a friend smack me around about my drinking. She was right. So, now I'm off the sauce for the week at least. I'm guessing that I'll be able to have drinks with my brother and Christmas without going back into bender behavior. If that does happen, then I would think about getting some help.... stopping isn't really a problem, just dealing with the problems that I was drinking to avoid is still a problem.

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

3. Good luck

if you ever have any questions, pm me.

[Shell Beau]

5. I am sure you know as well as I know that drinking only

exacerbates problems. I hope that your problems get better. Life can sure suck at times.

[Shell Beau]

4. I just don't understand this at all but

here have one of these :hug:

[harmonicon]

6. thanks - I'm through giving back story on here!

I just need venting.

And, you know, what the hell? It's not like Naomi knows anything about what actually went on in either case - she wasn't there, even if they are best friends.

[Shell Beau]

7. No need to tell.

Just take care. Tomorrow is a new day. I try to tell myself that when life gets to sucking.

[crim son]

8. I've done the drink away my misery thing.

At the time it seemed necessary to survive the pain but it's obvious now that it didn't fix anything and may well have made me more depressed. If you think you can cut back on your own, then do it. Your work will get back on track and you'll feel better overall. :hug: :hug: I'm sorry you are having a rough time.

[harmonicon]

9. yeah, it works for awhile

I was wondering when I would hit the wall and stop. It just so happened that it was this week. *sigh* I'd love a drink now though - too much stress, but that's why I can't have one. I got shocked into not drinking by having work to do. I've told myself that I'm not having another until this shit is done, because people need it asap. I'm still procrastinating (obviously), but then if I'm up and have time to work at night (like now) I can, and I won't be hung over tomorrow, so maybe I'll actually get work done in the morning.

Damn you, James Beam, and your delicious bourbon whiskey that's sitting on my shelf.

[crim son]

10. The wall is soft.

It's actually a good thing to have responsibilities and other distractions that you care about. Can you please pass me your delicious bourbon whisky? :P

[harmonicon]

11. consider it passed!

Having these distractions is definitely a good thing. I haven't been screwing up any responsibilities that I've had over the past few months, but I have been putting those off which can be put off. Damn, I just might pour myself a glass tonight if I can get this outline done. I'm so fucking bad at writing. At least I can sort of concentrate on it now and I'm back to wanting a drink because the writing is stressful, and not because I'm super stressed about other things which make me want to drink to forget about them and things like writing that I couldn't even think about a few weeks ago. Though I did realize today that I did already have a good start on the work based on notes I'd taken during a meeting with my advisor (I'm working on a PhD) a few weeks ago.