Why Boys Need Parents

[SoCalDem]

?click to see...put yout beverage down first

When you have sons, you find out about interesting things like:


1. A king-sized waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000-square-foot house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray dust bunnies with hair spray and run over them with roller-blades, they can ignite.
3. The voice of a 3-year-old boy is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20'x20' room.
5. You should not throw baseballs upwards when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-paned) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush along with the word 'Uh-oh,' it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke-lots of smoke.
9. A six-year-old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old boy.
11. The words 'Playdough' and 'microwave' should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super Glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches, even though TV commercials show that they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks m ak e lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is!
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The Fire Department in Austin, Texas, has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. 80% of women will pass this on to almost all their friends, whether or not they have kids.
24. 80% of men who read this will try mixing Clorox and brake fluid.

[LeftyFingerPop]

1. Hahahahahahaha!! Beautiful! n/t

[SoCalDem]

2. I added a few more:)

My friend emailed me this, and I messed up on the pics:)

[Chorophyll]

3. So understated in tone...

and yet so terrifying. :rofl:

I think the picture of the baby with the watermelon is cute, though.

[undeterred]

4. I heard that raising a boy involves an average of 4 emergency room trips

and a girl involves an average of 1.

[nomorenomore08]

26. Really? Hmmm... I've only gone once in my 24 years, and that was for smoke inhalation

after a house fire I didn't start. Guess I'm unusual... :P

[FloridaJudy]

5. Why men should probably *not* wash babies

Though I always subscribed to the let-them-run-around-naked-in-the-backyard-and-then-hose-them-off school of motherhood.

[BlueIris]

6. Boy-meets-watermelon is hysterical. nt

[skygazer]

7. I read this to my husband

His only response was, "In regards to the Clorox and brake fluid, does it give quantities?" :rofl:

[BrklynLiberal]

8. I just love it...and I did forward it to all my friends...kids or not.

[Kajsa]

9. LOL!

These are great!
Thanks. :)

One more to add-
( this happened)

A peanut shoved up a nostril will cause violent,
repetitive sneezing until peanut is removed!

:D

[Heidi]

10. CMW has a bullet wound and a six-inch surgical scar in his left leg

to demonstrate why kids need _attentive_ parents. This is a super cute thread, but there's a vein of truth running through it. :hi:

[TheCentepedeShoes]

11. The one with

the boy pulling up the girl's skirt was on a birthday card I gave Mr 'pede several years ago.

[Jade Fox]

12. This is hysterical!

[ACTION BASTARD]

13. KnR for the greatest thread in DU today

[Deja Q]

14. Talk about 'Toad in the Hole'

http://www.elise.com/recipes/archives/000089classic_english_toad-in-the-hole.php

:rofl:

[Shine]

15. I got this email, too.

as the mother of a 15 yr old son, I can totally relate. :hi:

[GCP]

16. That's hilarious

And the statistic about ER visits sounds about right!

[KurtNYC]

17. funny

btw, it looks like #23 & 24 were added. They don't fit with the rest.

[SoCalDem]

20. Don't know.. It came to me that way..n/t

[flvegan]

18. What if you turbocharged the ceiling fan?

I'll bet I can fly...

[AspenRose]

19. Pray for me; I have two sons

:scared:


:rofl:

[SoCalDem]

21. We managed to raise three to maturity

but we were on a first name basis with the Xray guy at the ER :)

[pokerfan]

22. couple more

[madeline_con]

23. Funny photo essay! n/t

[Radical Activist]

24. the skateboard one looks really freaking awesome.

[ACTION BASTARD]

25. Man, those are some sweet, sweet tits.

Kid has got taste. I'll give him that.