Am I a bad person for this?

[Heyo]

Somebody died, and I am not sad in the least. In fact, I am glad!

This was an awful person.. a "mom's boyfriend" type figure in a friend of mine's family situation (friend is 29, but lives with his mom because his mom is totally dependent on him, not the other way around.. he's the only one in the house who works)..

This person was a horrible abusive drunk who drank cheap beer and Dewar's 24/7 who's many egregious offenses include: throwing a kitten against the wall knocking out one of it's teeth... flipping the Blazer (the only vehicle they had) off the I-95 offramp, drunk off his ass, totalling the car, and losing the friend's sister's dog who happened to be in the front seat (don't know if it survived or what, front passenger window was open.. never saw the dog again) .. numerous times where he has roughed up the mom, several of which my friend has intervened on behalf of his mom, one time denting the wall with his head (I was diggin' that :evilgrin:)

A person who was constantly loud, obnoxious, abusive, and yelling.. and an unfortunate woman who is one of the many stuck in the cycle of domestic abuse, and only recently had the courage to throw him out, for the 3rd or 4th time, and make it stick hopefully...(looks like it's gonna stick this time)

He had been harassing her lately, but then recently went to the hospital and died as a result of health problems related to being marinated in alcohol for the past 30 odd years...(I don't know the details yet, but I overheard the words "liver" and "kidneys")

Big yellow rotten tooth right in the front.... and oh yeah, he used to every now and then start feeling a little saucy and go spend the bill money on a couple days worth of crack, although mostly he just drank, threw up, threw things and yelled at people...

Anyway... now he is deceased, and I am SOO relieved for the family and so happy (these are people I have known my whole life)..

The world is SUCH a better place now that he's gone, I could literally feel the balance of good and bad energy in the universe shift ever so slightly towards the good when I heard the news....

He was a person in whom I saw NO redeeming qualities whatsoever... even if he sobered up...nor did anyone else who ever knew him except the "mom" figure.

Does this make me a bad person? I can't help it.. I don't regret feeling this way either....

What do you guys think? :shrug:

Heyo

[Caution]

1. what makes you a good person

is the fact that you are questioning your feelings on the issue in the first place.

[Bunny]

2. You are not a bad person.

And your friend, his mom, and even the dead guy are released from this hell. It's all good!

[Heyo]

3. Thanks...

I guess there is room for this kind of feelings...

Heyo

[scottcsmith]

4. Sounds like my former step-father

I'll be glad when that son-of-a-bitch dies.

[ariellyn]

5. Nope, you're not a bad person

Being the good person you are, I hope you support your friend and help him to seek some professional help. My father drank and was abusive, I was in therapy for years and when he died suddenly, as much hell as he raised, my mom, sister and I were still shocked and devasted. So even though you aren't sad, realize they may still be. Also, the thing about abuse and alcoholism is, the effects don't stop just because a person dies. Your friend, if he were in counseling, would learn he should not be taking care of his mom but himself. Be there for him.

P.S. I cracked up about the dent in the head. That was hilarious. I'm still laughing.

[Heyo]

13. Yeah....

hehe.. cheap drywall...a face off, and a chest to chest "what's up now?" ...a push and a push back... lost balance.. thunk!

Heyo

[GoddessOfGuinness]

6. Sounds like no loss to me...

I only hope your friend's mom doesn't go out looking for the same type of guy.

:hug: No need for guilt...

[Cleita]

7. No. I too have secretly celebrated the removal of toxic persons

from my life either by death or other means. However, from what you describe of this person, it is apparent he was a tortured soul with serious medical problems that he medicated with alcohol. If we had a decent health program in this country, his mental and physical health problems and alcoholism would have been treated long before he left a wake of damaged lives and property in his wake.

[southerngirlwriter]

8. I went through something very similar, and this book is great:

Liberating Losses: When Death Brings Relief . It's co-authored by two women. One lost her husband in a car accident the day after she told him she wanted a divorce. The other lost her husband after fifteen years of watching him deteriorate to a serious illness. They were both relieved, not saddened, when the deaths came. They both were persecuted for not having the "right" feelings.

This book REALLY helped me. I have it in front of me. It's a great book, but I probably won't ever re-read it. If you want, send me a PM with your snail mail address and it's yours.

:hug:

[BruinAlum]

9. No. You're normal.

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. Some people are better off dead

Whatever hell he was suffering he's out of it;

and the hell he created for the people around him is all over, as well.

Not that I would wish death on people - i always hope there might be healing first, but some really are better off dead, and society is better off with them dead.

I applaud your soul-searching in this struggle, and I see how difficult it is for you reconciling the relief from his death with your compassion of not wanting to be gleeful over death. You have a good heart. :-)

[La Lioness Priyanka]

11. i was happy when my evil grandmother died

and still think that she was only born to ruin other peoples lives.

[Heyo]

12. Thanks for your thoughts everyone...

You know.. one thing that makes me feel a little better is this:

Several times she kicked him out.. and he went on his own. and she always caved in to her manipulation and let him back..

I am so glad that it happened during one of the times when he was "out..

I am so glad that after all this poor family has been through, they didn't have to find him dead on the couch or something..

I know they are hurting, I went over yesterday with some burgers and grilled with them and spent some time supporting them...

Another thing too is, my friends sister, (19 years old).. has a child about 1.. so you see it's really a tough situation.. I am so glad that the child (he's the lil' homie :)) doesn't have to grow up with that influence around... woulda been very caustic for him...

Thanks for the support and advice everyone..

Heyo

[RebelOne]

14. No, you are not a bad person.

Someone like that is better off gone, so he does not endanger other innocent people.

[Wcross]

15. Hell, I'm glad he's dead too!

Just for the animal abuse alone! Now is the time to get the Mom some help so she doesn't drag home another winner like that.

[Endangered Specie]

16. I think this joke might be appropriate for the conversation at hand...

One day, an old tired grandfather was resting on his favorite rocking chair... All of a sudden on of his grandson's wakes him yelling

"Granddad Grandad, can you make frog noises please, please, granddad make a frog noise"

Startled and baffled, the grandad asks

"Why, son, what on earth do you want me to make frog noises for?"

The grandchild eagerly replies

"Well, because mommy said that if you croak we can all go to Hawaii!!"

-end of joke

[Heyo]

17. Heheheheheheh

Heheheheheheh :evilgrin:

Heyo