For community service, I was asked to coach Pee Wee football.

[Drunken Irishman]

I had an episode with a police officer and it did not end well. Because of this, I was ordered into anger management classes and sentenced to community service. I was offered the opportunity to take over a Pee Wee football team that had lost their coach and if I coached the entire season, it would go toward my community service. So I did.

Bad idea.

I can't handle coaching a bunch of kids because they do not listen. I am a freak because there were times where I felt like grabbing one of those kids and tossing them across the field. Which is funny, because I was there for anger problems and all of the coaching was feeding into my anger. I don't know how anyone can coach, especially when the team loses. I had a breakdown every goddamn loss, snapping clipboards and kicking tables. It was ugly, pathetic, embarrassing and not my best moment, but I got through it without killing those snot nosed kids.

Then they asked me if I wanted to return next season as their head coach. I laughed and said no, because I didn't think I'd get off as easy if I actually managed to kill someone.

Whose idea was it to take someone with anger issues and surround them with a high emotion job like coaching?

Idiots.

[reyd reid reed]

1. That seems like a baaaaaaad

idea. It takes the patience of a saint to coach...not necessarily because of the kids (although they help), but because parents can be such......*ahem*......charming, supportive folks when it comes to their little angels playing time.

[Drunken Irishman]

2. Yes, the parents were assholes.

Not just playing time, but certain plays that weren't run for their kid.

I had a father go off on me because I didn't run the ball enough, even though they were stuffing the run every goddamn time.

I'm in my early 20s and I think I'm already going gray from that experience.

[PaddyBlueEyes]

4. Ive coached about 6 youth sports

biggest thing to remember...Their little kids, and its just a game. Parents suck, and overly competitve parents suck worse...Hang there though dude, those kids taught me more than I ever taught them...

[Drunken Irishman]

8. Yeah, I never yelled at 'em, though I yelled.

I just made sure not to look at them when I did. :P

[Droopy]

3. Just pay the fine next time, Mr. Irishman

Or was there a possibility of jail time?

I was arrested for disorderly conduct one time. I spent 12 hours in the drunk tank and was eventually fined $300. I also have a nice, little misdemeanor on my record that I have to explain every time I try to get a job that requires background checks.

[Drunken Irishman]

5. Possible jail time.

I won't get into it, but let's just say I got very unruly with an officer who I felt was treating me like crap and I was arrested for it.

Thankfully everyone was cool and since it was my first real issue with the law, I was offered that or jail time and I took it in a heartbeat.

[FloridaJudy]

6. Does anyone else think

This sounds like the premise for a really, really bad movie? Or a half-way decent one, if they cast Jack Black as the coach?

[Drunken Irishman]

7. haha, it does sound like something that would star Will Ferrell.

Or Adam Sandler.

[FloridaJudy]

9. Now *those* would be bad!

Particularly if the Learning Disabled Kid scores the winning touchdown against the team from the snotty private school.

[Drunken Irishman]

10. And then the team wins enough money to buy their field...

For the evil landowner won't build a multi-million dollar hotel/casino there.

[quakerboy]

11. I thought that the last sentance was going to be

Something about having fallen asleep in front of a tv, and waking with these strange memories.

[LoZoccolo]

12. Pee-wee football is serious business.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRXLYKwZF8o

This is what I think of every time I hear about "pee-wee football".