Why would I be sad if I'm almost done with it all?

[Writer]

I'm literally one 7-9 page essay away from completing the first semester of my doctoral program. It's been a bear of a semester both academically and personally. I have many, many reasons to celebrate after finishing, as do my classmates. We're all going out for drinks after we turn in our final exam to celebrate.

But here I am, starting my last essay, and I'm a bit sad. I really can't explain it: My grades have been good, I'm getting away from Prof. Douchebag to work with a more professional prof. in the spring, I really enjoy my classmates - they're all very smart and very nice, and Mr. Writer has been a great help.

Is it just a let-down after all the stress?

[MrsBrady]

1. lucky, I didn't have to deal with any Prof. Douchebags.

I've read quite a few of your posts about him.

This was my first semester back to finish my undergrad music degree.
However that does make me a "non-traditional" student...after 12 *ahem* years between semesters.

I had to not only re-apply to the university to get back in, but also re-audition for the music department.
That nearly did me in. Luckily I had a friend that's in a local orchestra to help me prepare (i play violin).
Then, thank god, the head of my music division remembered me when I was there the first time. He was a young professor then, and now is head of the department.
I'm a music comp major.

I only had 8 hours this semester, but that's "music major hours." lots of work for not much credit hours. I only went back part time because I knew it would be a lot of work, and I didn't want to overwhelm myself. Plus my husband is a complete slob...sweet, but a slob. We have 3 cats and a dog. And I got a part time college type job at night.

I wasn't too sure about going back. But now that I'm there, I loved it.
I'm happy too, got A's.
But I'm exhausted. Got sick last week, right after it was all over. Too much work and worry.
Just now coming down from all the stress. Maybe now I can clean house since it hasn't been done since....ick, you don't want to know.

I felt "down" at the beginning of the semester because it was such a huge change to be back at school.
Plus, at first I was embarrassed because people assumed I was a grad student. I'm 36, but look about 25. But I certainly don't look 18.
I also had registered for an algebra class, which I had to drop. I'm not so good with that, and it was taking me so much time I couldn't get my music work done.
That was frustrating because I wanted to get it over with, not to mention the money lost. I'll have to take it this summer when I don't have to do anything else.
Mid semester I wasn't sure I was going to make it. So much work to do, and it was really getting to me. I pushed through, and by the end of the semester I realized it was going to work out. I wrote two short pieces and passed my violin jury, with good comments from the two string faculty that were there.

Maybe you are feeling down from either the new wearing off or
the "loss" of an old you...I kinda went through that.
or maybe having to deal with all the Douchbag stuff is decompressing.
or maybe you have a hard time with letting yourself enjoy your success? I do that too.

:beer: :toast: here's you you and your friends.

[Writer]

2. Yeah it was quite a mess, and it required a lot of emotional stamina on my part to remain...

as professional as possible, even when he wasn't acting professionally. Other than telling him off a month ago (after he confronted me on leaving him in the spring), I have been able to keep my head up and focused on my work.

I admire you for going back for your degree at 36. That's wonderful! I am 33 and am doing my doctorate right during my child-bearing years, which will be interesting. If you haven't been in school for a while, it's difficult to adjust back to school "rhythm." I hope it continues to go well for you.

[Bucky]

3. At first I thought you wrote "it's been a beer of a semester".

That would've been cool. I also thought you wrote "many reasons to celebrate after fishing."

I must be tired. So I'm sympathetic to your doldrums. Sometimes the weight of all the responsibilities I have just sneak up on me. That might be happening to you too. In these cases, dedicating some time to unwinding is highly recommended.

Now tell me more about that beer.

[Writer]

4. I'm in fairly poor spirits at the moment, so I really can't tell you about that beer.

I'm writing my last essay right now. Maybe I'll feel different after I'm done.

I hope you get some much needed rest.