I failed cheerleading school.

[LeftyFingerPop]

They did not like the cheers that I created.

MAKE THE OTHER TEAM RELINQUISH THE BALL!

TRY YOUR VERY BEST TO GET A FIRST DOWN! DO YOUR BEST TEAM!

HIT THE OTHER GUY WITH FORCE!

CATCH THE BALL AND RUN OVER THE LINE WITH IT!

[datasuspect]

1. they banished me from cheerleading

because i mixed my cheers with kung fu and wore a ninja costume.

[rcrush]

2. I'M SO PUMPED!!!!!!!!

[trof]

3. Ya pore bastid.

condolences

[Dr. Strange]

4. Join the club.

My cheers were frowned upon as well.

GET A FUCKING TOUCHDOWN, YOU ASSWIPES!
SHOVE THAT BALL UP THEIR POOPHOLE!
DON'T RUN A 5-YARD PATTERN ON 3RD-AND-8! AW, C'MON FUCKING COACH!

They did not appreciate my school spirit. Or those tight shorts I wore.

[datasuspect]

5. FUCK TO YOU THE ENEMY TEAM

WE WILL VANQUISH YOU
WE WILL CRUSH YOU LIKE STALIN

[Dr. Strange]

6. WE WILL ACCUMULATE MORE POINTS THAN YOU...

THEN WE WILL HAVE OUR WAY WITH YOUR FANS!

[datasuspect]

7. WE WILL SLAY THE CHILDREN OF THE OPPONENT

BRING SHAME AND DISHONOR TO THE MEMORY OF THE ENEMY TEAM ANCESTOR

[Dr. Strange]

8. WE WILL LOFT THE HEAD OF THE OPPOSING COACH UPON OUR STAFF OF VICTORY.

AND SLAKE OUR THIRST ON THE OPPOSING TEAM'S BLOOD AND GATORADE!

[datasuspect]

10. THE ENEMY TEAM WILL BECOME OUR SORROW VASSALS

WE WILL BRING IGNOMINY UPON THE LANDS OF THEIR FATHERS

[Arugula Latte]

77. HELL, WE WILL LOFT THE STAFF OF THE OPPOSING COACH UPON OUR STAFF OF VICTORY

[LeftyFingerPop]

9. THE LARGER NUMBER WILL BE DISPLAYED ON OUR SIDE OF THE SCOREBOARD

[datasuspect]

11. THE WOMAN OF THE ENEMY TEAM WILL WAIL AND GNASH THEIR TEETH

UPON OUR VICTORY

[LeftyFingerPop]

14. YOUR PROTECTIVE FACEMASKS WILL DO LITTLE TO HIDE YOUR TEARS OF HUMILIATION

[datasuspect]

15. THE ENEMY TEAM WILL CRAWL PROSTRATE TO THE LAKE OF FIRE

THEY WILL KNOW THE WRATH OF THE GOD OF ABRAHAM

[Dr. Strange]

16. YOUR CHIN STRAPS WILL QUIVER WILL GREAT SORROW.

AS WILL YOUR JOCK STRAPS.

[datasuspect]

18. THE ENEMY TEAM WILL HAVE GALL TO EAT AND VINEGAR TO DRINK

AT THE GREAT WALL OF RECKONINIG

[LeftyFingerPop]

19. YOUR JOCKSTRAPS WILL SHRINK FROM THE MOISTNESS OF YOUR SHAME

[skooooo]

109. ouch!

Sounds a little rough!

[Rabrrrrrr]

22. THE LIMIT EVEN OF THE SQUARE OF YOUR SCORE STILL WILL NOT APPROACH OUR UNAUGMENTED VALUE

[datasuspect]

YOU WILL KNOW THE FLAVOR OF HUMILIATION

[Rabrrrrrr]

24. YOU ARE THE 1 IN THE EULER'S EQUATION OF SCORING IN THIS COMPETITIVE SCORE-KEEPING SPORT ACTIVITY

[datasuspect]

27. THE SHAME OF DEFEAT WILL ENCASE YOUR HONOR IN SUFFERING

[Dr. Strange]

28. THOUGH THE NUMBER OF POINTS YOU ACQUIRE WILL NOT BE POSITIVE...

THE NUMBER OF INJURIES YOU ACQUIRE, MOST ASSUREDLY WILL BE!

[madeline_con]

21. ALL YOUR WOMEN ARE BELONG TO US. n/t

[MineralMan]

58. ESCHEW VIOLENCE! PLAY NICELY!

[sarge43]

101. PRIMUM ET DECEM EST, RURSUM AGENDUM EST! DETRACTUM!

In case they don't teach Latin, "First and ten, do it again! Touchdown!

[LeftyFingerPop]

12. YOUR CITY WILL BURN BECAUSE YOU HAVE LOST IN SHAME

[trof]

13. Next time try the "Rickety Rackety Ree" cheer.

Rickety Rackety Ree
Hit 'Em In The Knee!
Rickety Rackety Rass
Hit 'Em In The Other Knee!
;-)

[Rabrrrrrr]

17. I used to cheer "BREAK HIS FUCKING BACK WITH AN ILLEGAL MOVE! FUCK EM!!!"

and "AFTER THE GAME WE'RE BURNING YOUR GODDAMN TOWN DOWN YOU FUCKING OUTSIDER SHITBAGS!!!"

and "HE'S DOWN, KICK HIM IN THE HEAD UNTIL HE FUCKING DIES!!!"

And for pom poms I used Jarts which would find themselves accidentally in the bellies of opposing ball carriers. I once doused the opposing side in gasoline and set them on fire; that was one fucking funny homecoming game! Goddamned small town opponents never knew what hit 'em, and then they stopped the game because, and I quote, "A fire in the stands break out killing 78 people in fiery death while one of the cheerleaders, a Mr. Rabrrrrrr, slit the throats of the remaining 308 opposing team fans as they tried to escape". Fuckstains.



I didn't last too long. Not in the provincial shithole I grew up in. Fuckers wanted war, I gave 'em war, and then they suspend *me* for "unsportsmanlike conduct". What the fuck?!

I don't understand the world.

[Dr. Strange]

20. I think that kind of behavior is over the line.

You sully the name and spirit of good sportsmanship.

[backwoodsbob]

23. pics

or it didnt happen :hide:

[elshiva]

54. Picture that I took of philboy as a cheerleader:

[LeftyFingerPop]

25. THE SOUND OF YOUR BROKEN BODY WILL BE HEARD LIKE A THUNDERCLAP ACROSS THE VALLEY OF THE SISSIES

[Dr. Strange]

31. AND EVEN IF YOU SCORE MORE POINTS THAN US...

YOUR VICTORY WILL BE MOST HOLLOW, FOR WE HAVE SABOTAGED THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR TRANSPORTATION DEVICES!

[redqueen]

110. Hahahahaahahah

I love this thread!

[rug]

26. It's the legs, phil, it's the legs.

[Rabrrrrrr]

29. AS WE RIP THE SKIN OFF YOUR WOMEN WITH RAZOR WIRE AND TOSS THEIR CARCASSES INTO THE PIT OF DESPAIR,

YOU SHALL RUE THE DAY YOU DECIDED TO ENGAGE US IN SPORT! EXCEPT YOU WILL NOT LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO RUE BECAUSE AS MAD BESERKERS WE WILL DESCEND UPON YOUR BUS AND REND THE FLESH FROM YOUR BONES WITH OUR BARE HATEFILLED TEETH CONSUMING THE FILTH OF YOUR BEINGS TO SUSTAIN US IN OUR DEMONIC MANIPULATIONS OF THIS PLANE OF EXISTENCE.

[datasuspect]

30. WE WILL DRAW AND QUARTER THE ENEMY UNTIL THEY KNOW THE NAME OF JUSTICE

[Rabrrrrrr]

32. TONIGHT YOUR BLOOD SHALL FLOW ANKLE DEEP ON THIS FIELD OF BATTLE AND VENGEANCE

[datasuspect]

35. WE WILL INVOKE THE SPIRIT OF VLAD TEPES AND IMPALE THE ENEMY UPON STAKES OF HUMILIATION

IN THE TOWN SQUARE TO MAKE EXAMPLES OF THEM AND THEIR UNHOLINESS

[Rabrrrrrr]

38. AS THE CHAINSAW OF JUSTICE CLEAVES YOU IN TWAIN, WE SHALL DRINK DEEP OF YOUR ICHOR

LAUGHING AT YOUR FUTILITY

[datasuspect]

40. WE WILL DRAW DEEP FROM THE FIGHTING SPIRIT OF OUR ANCESTORS

AND DRAG YOUR CARCASSES FROM KETHER TO MALKUTH

[Rabrrrrrr]

44. THE SUN SHALL RISE TOMORROW ON YOUR BLOATING CARCASSES WHILE WE MERRILY DRINK VICTORY MEED

[SidneyCarton]

83. YES!!! we have a winnah!

[sarge43]

103. NO PRISONERS! NO FUCKING PRISONERS!

WE SHALL FEAST ON YOUR SMOKING FLESH! WE SHALL SOW SALT ON YOUR GROUND! WE SHALL TELL THE PRINCIPAL YOU WERE SMOKING IN THE BOY'S ROOM!

[Radical Activist]

114. ALL THREE!!!

[Rabrrrrrr]

33. OUR DEFENSIVE LINE SHALL CAUSE YOU SUCH CONSTERNATION AS TO DRIVE YOU TO INATTENTIVENESS!

[Dr. Strange]

41. OUR GAME PLAN WILL CAUSE SUCH ANGUISH...

THAT YOU WILL BE FORCED TO CALL A TIME-OUT DURING THE FIRST QUARTER AND CHOOSE OVERWHELMINGLY TO FORFEIT THE GAME.

[datasuspect]

42. WOTAN HATH PLACED A HARD HEART IN MY BREAST

AND THE MURDEROUS INSTINCT OF THE ANCIENT TRIBES
AND WHILE I DRAW DEEPLY FROM THE BOWL OF SACRED OFFERING
OUR NUMBER WILL CUT DOWN YOUR WARRIORS TO THE LAST CHILD

[Dr. Strange]

49. ASK NOT FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS...

ASK RATHER IF YOUR HEALTH INSURANCE IS UP-TO-DATE!

[Rabrrrrrr]

43. BY THE THIRD QUARTER YOU WILL BE MUCH MORE TIRED THAN YOU ARE NOW!

[Rabrrrrrr]

34. THE LAST THING YOU NEED RIGHT NOW, BUDDY, IS THIS SHIV IN YOUR URETHRA, SO BACK OFF!

[trof]

36. Locking. Excessive use of ALL CAPS.

You guys know better.
I really should be a mod.

[datasuspect]

37. I WILL DISCONNECT YOUR BONES

[Arugula Latte]

51. I first read that as : I WILL DISCONNECT YOUR BONGS

[Tuesday Afternoon]

75. ouch

that is worse :D

[Rabrrrrrr]

39. FROM THE UNHOLY THROBBING OF YOUR TENNIS ELBOW, YOU SHALL NEVER DRAW SUCCOR!

[Dr. Strange]

45. THE MODERATORS QUAKE FROM OUR EXUBERANT CAPITALIZATION.

THEY LOSE SLEEP AT THE THOUGHT OF ANYONE WHO WOULD DARE TO LOCK A THREAD OF PHILBOY, THE CHEERLEADER.

[Rabrrrrrr]

46. I AM A FOLLOW OF PHILLBOY, THE CHEERLEADER. I SHALL DESTROY ANYTHING IN HIS WAY.

I AM A FOLLOWER OF PHILLBOY, THE CHEERLEADER. THE BLOOD OF HIS ENEMIES SPILT IN HIS HONOR IS MY ONLY SOURCE OF JOY.

I AM A FOLLOWER OF PHILLBOY, THE CHEERLEADER. UNTO MY LAST DYING BREATH, I DEDICATE MYSELF TO THE MERCILESS SLAUGHTER OF HIS ENEMIES.

I AM A FOLLOWER OF PHILLBOY, THE CHEERLEADER. MY LIFE IS HIS, EVEN 'TWER HE ASK ME TO OFFER IT MYSELF.

[Dr. Strange]

47. PHILBOY THE CHEERLEADER IS LORD OF ALL THE LAND.

FROM ONE ENDZONE TO THE NEXT, YEA, EVEN UNTO THE ENDS OF THE LOUNGE.

[datasuspect]

48. PHILBOY IS MY LORD LIEGE AND I PLACE MY HONOR BENEATH HIS HALLOWED SCEPTER

[Iggo]

50. Best.Thread.Ever.

:patriot:

[Arugula Latte]

52. DO YOUR BEST AND HAVE FUN! PARTICIPATION IS THE IMPORTANT THING!

[elshiva]

53. .......

:rofl:

[TZ]

55. This thread..it scares me

My mother was in charge of a cheerleading squad and it was NEVER like this..of course the football team never won either...:scared:

[Dr. Strange]

56. See, that's the thing.

If I had been in charge of the cheerleaders, the football team would have won!

In addition, I could have crossed off #24 on my list o' fantasies that I hope to experience before I die.

[undeterred]

76. I actually heard this cheer by female cheerleaders for girls basketball:

U- G- L- Y You're UGLY!

[Arugula Latte]

78. I recall that one as: U-G-L-Y, You ain't got no alibi, You're Ugly! Hey Hey, You're Ugly!

[Dr. Strange]

80. YOUR TEAM CONSISTS OF PHYSICALLY UNATTRACTIVE SPECIMENS!

UPON LOSING THIS GAME, THE CHANCE OF PROPAGATING YOUR GENETIC MATERIAL WILL BE MINUSCULE!

[Arugula Latte]

82. YOUR COUNTENANCE IS BIOLOGICALLY DISPLEASING TO ALL HUMANITY DUE TO ITS LACK OF SYMMETRY

[LeftyFingerPop]

57. WE WILL MAKE YOU FUMBLE THE BALL IN FRONT OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND, RENDERING YOU SEXUALLY DYSFUNCTIONAL .

FOR ALL OF YOUR REMAINING DAYS.

[Dr. Strange]

59. WE WILL POINT AT YOUR DANGLY BITS AND LAUGH LOUDLY...

EDITED ON MON DEC-22-08 9:59 AM BY DUSTRANGE, DISCIPLE OF PHILBOY, THE CHEERLEADER -- RAH! RAH!

CAUSING YOU TO QUESTION YOUR MANHOOD.

[TZ]

60. Prozac.

I *highly* recommend it.....

:hide:

[Arugula Latte]

71. SOON, YOUR TESTES WILL SHRIVEL TO THE SIZE OF RAISINS

[zanne]

61. The last one is my favorite.

I don't know why they didn't pick you. Some people have no taste.

[motely36]

62. Please. Don't. Stop.

:rofl:

[Dr. Strange]

64. OUR TEAM WILL MARCH TO VICTORY...

WITH THE MIGHTY FORCE OF A RUSH TUNE!

:)

[GreenPartyVoter]

63. LOL Would you feel better if I asked my cheerleaders to use them?

Although they are gonna sound very silly doing it, seeing as how they cheer for basketball. :P

[Dr. Strange]

66. WE WILL DUNK THE BALL WITH SUCH FORCE AND TERROR...

THAT YOUR BRAIN WILL OOZE FORTH FROM YOUR EARS, AND DRIP UPON THOSE STUPID JERSEYS YOU WEAR.

[Pierre.Suave]

65. holy shit this thread is funny...

I bookmarked it for posterity.

:rofl:

[northernlights]

67. BEHOLD THE NUMBERS! YOU WILL FIND IT EASIER

TO COUNT THE STARS THEN TOTAL OUR SCORE!

AND UPON YOUR INEVITABLE, HUMILIATING DEFEAT, VERILY SHALL YOU WEEP, AS WILL YOUR CHILDREN, AND THEIR CHILDREN FOEVERMORE!

[Dr. Strange]

69. YOUR QUIVERING SERVES ONLY TO NOURISH OUR DESIRE...

OUR DESIRE TO STOMP YOU INTO THE TINIEST OF BITS, LIKE THE LARGE HADRON COLLIDER, ONLY IN THE CONTEXT OF COMPETITION!

[Pacifist Patriot]

68. They just looked at me like I had sprouted horns.

While iambic pentameter wasn't a problem there was a bit of resistance with the haiku. Not to mention my polite requests and three syllable words went over their heads. Even when they were in the pyramid formation.

[Pierre.Suave]

70. Heres one I thought up in the shower just now...

WE SHALL REND YOUR SOULS WITH SUCH VIOLENCE AND FEROCITY AS TO LEAVE YOU LOST FOREVER WITH SHAME AS YOUR ONLY COMPANION.

[Dr. Strange]

73. YOUR SHAMPOO CLEANSES YOUR FOLLICLES...

LEAVING YOUR HAIR SHINY AND LUSTROUS, MAKING YOUR DULL-HAIRED ENEMIES ENVIOUS!

[LeftyFingerPop]

72. THE TIGHTNESS OF YOUR UNIFORM ONLY SERVES TO ACCENTUATE YOUR FEMININE BUTTOCKS.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

74. WITH SOCKS IN YOUR JOCKS YOUR SUPERIORITY ROCKS!!!

Nooooeeeess!!!
:rofl:

[TZ]

79. Short but sweet...

BITE ME!

[RandomThoughts]

81. Don't let it bring you down

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFzCcmX8r1A

[lumberjack_jeff]

84. VANQUISH THE ENEMIES. DRIVE THEM BEFORE YOU AND HEAR THE LAMENTATION OF THE WOMEN.

Conan should have been a cheerleader.

[RandomThoughts]

85. ...

[RandomThoughts]

86. You want to be a cheerleader?

Ha, get on the field, grab a hammer or a flaming chain saw, and....

http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=353&aid=

[RandomThoughts]

87. I knew I would catch crap for this post

But hey, nobody is perfect

:)

sometimes ya got to go with funny.

[Dr. Strange]

96. I remember that scene.

Ow....

[LeftyFingerPop]

88. Fluffy fuzzy softness goo goo a go go!

[LeftyFingerPop]

89. KICK THAT PIGSKIN STRAIGHT AND FAR. MAKE A FEEL GOLE!!!

[LeftyFingerPop]

90. THROW THE BALL IN SUCH A MANNER THAT YOUR TEAMMATE CAN CATCH IT!

[LeftyFingerPop]

91. RUN WITH THE BALL UNTIL YOU ARE ALMOST OUT OF BREATH!

[LeftyFingerPop]

92. MAKE STRANGE GRUNTING NOISES TO FRIGHTEN THE OTHER GUYS INTO SUBMISSION!

[LeftyFingerPop]

93. CONGRATULATE YOUR TEAMMATE BY SLAPPING HIM FORCEFULLY ON THE BUTTOCKS!

[LSK]

94. DONT HIT THEM HARD, WE DONT WANT THEM TO FALL DOWN!!!!

[KamaAina]

95. I guess you'll never be President, then

(sigh)

[Arugula Latte]

97. YOUR ANGUISHED RENDING OF CLOTHING IN DEFEAT WILL ONLY CAUSE US TO LAUGH AT YOUR NAKEDNESS

[LisaL]

98. I never wanted to be a cheerleader.

[krispos42]

99. Kick

This is far too interesting to let fall off the front page...

:popcorn:

[Quantess]

100. I also failed cheerleading.

I went to the cheerleader practice, and realized that I sucked in 1986. I was not as coordinated a dancer as MC Hammer was, so I just took it in stride.

[sarge43]

102. A classic

The greatest pleasure is to vanquish your enemies and chase them before you, to rob them of their wealth and see those dear to them bathed in tears, to ride their horses and clasp to your bosom their wives and daughters. G. Khan

(Then pants 'em post game.)

[LeftyFingerPop]

104. 40 YEARS FROM NOW, YOU WILL BE DRUNK IN A DIVE BAR, BORING YOUNG WOMEN...

ABOUT A GAME SAVING PLAY THAT YOU NEVER MADE, WHILST THEY LAUGH AND SNICKER AS YOU URINATE YOURSELF.

[sarge43]

105. Deleted

[sarge43]

106. The real reason philboy didn't make the team

Now it can be told

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxvpComh824

[Dr. Strange]

107. Behold, the thread of Philboy, the Cheerleader has garnered many DUzys!

Our conquest is complete! All Hail Philboy, the Cheerleader!
Hail, goddammit!

[skooooo]

108. sound like good cheers to me..

:shrug:

[datasuspect]

111. WOE BETIDE WILL THE ENEMY BE

UPON THE LUSTY SHAFTS OF OUR CONQUERING.

[Dr. Strange]

112. Lusty Shafts of our Conquering?

Is that one of those euphemisms?

[Scooter24]

113. ....

:rofl:

[underpants]

115. Those acedemic types only appreciate it if it is iambic pentameter

:grr:

[underpants]

116. WE'RE GOING TO BE YOUR BOSS!!! WE'RE GOING TO BE YOUR BOSS!!!

Actual cheer every year at the Vanderbilt-Tennessee game

From the Vandy stands. They usually are drubbed by the UT machine.

I am bookmarking this. One of the funniest threads ever.