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Dial H for “Hero”
Once Picasso told me—on an afternoon of bitter, busy snow in light so confident, so boastful of its home in the sun, you’d think we would be sweltering, and so his observation made sense—that everything and everyone is as faceted as a cubist day at the beach. That was the same light Einstein lifted for me is a lesbian bar—we weren’t lesbian, neither of us, but, after all, we were faceted—and in his hand it appeared as compact as an apple: indeed, he pared it using his teeth alone, in a single sinuous spiral of golden rind, and everybody applauded as if we were the stage show. “No, that’s wrong, it’s points, not facets,” said Seurat, “it’s all confetti of light” (the trouble with friends of genius—those advance scouts of the mind and the spirit is vision, like these two, in collision) and then, by way of exemplification, he dipped his right forefinger daintily into the ocean—we were at the beach, at dusk—and when he removed it and lifted it up to my inspection, there in the center of his fingerprint, like some mythic creature waiting at the center of the maze, was a single aglow confetto, acting as a nexus for the swift oncoming night...and when I mentioned this confusion of at-variance cosmologies to Marie Curie—we were in bed together (not sexually, I’d like to lay that rumor to rest), and reading our individual books by the cool, blue radiation her body cast forth— she rolled her eyes and said “yes” without listening really, she was lost in a new collection of poetry by my old friend David, mesmerized, as if he were the hero (and why not? isn’t he raising Ben? and didn’t he help Patricia ease her mother through the final gates? and aren’t these poems the result of his dangerous visit to the quicksand of American conspiracy paranoia?), she was wandering in the thick of his words, their heft and weft (the way that certain photographs invite our loopy dawdling in the up-close, weathered texture of a silo’s side), and so I couldn’t count on her adjudicating anything, now how will I decide between the test of faith and the structures of reason, how will I determine insularity or empire, yes or arbitrate between a quantum-mechanical state and the “actual,” with my guiding lights themselves so cattywampus to each other? “And anyway, mostly it’s all lies,” said the Baron Munchausen, “what the Buddhists say is maya: illusion. Trust me, I know.” He was sitting across the room from us—I was there, a local watering hole, with Galileo and Georgia O’Keeffe. “You’re listening to him?” and Galileo rose up like a promontory —in his exacerbation, sloshing the foam of his Oktoberfest special over our table—and pointed, apoplectic, at Munchausen with the same finger that once had pointed through the chill air to the cankered face of the moon in a time when nobody else would admit the truth of the sky, “That man is a fiction!”
Albert Goldbarth
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:hi:
RL
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