So... I have my first date in over three years.

[intheflow]

And the last date I went on was with my ex-long-time boyfriend, so we'd already been together about five years when that date happened. OK, actually, I did go out on one date about a year ago but it was so pathetically awful I'm not counting it.

I'm totally nervous. The picture I sent him was taken on a really good day, of course this week I'm breaking out like I'm 14 again.:mad:
He looks really cute in the two photos I've seen of him.
We talked on the phone for an hour tonight (first time we ever talked, unheard of for me).
He's an academic dweeb like myself.
He's not only progressive politically but actually works and teaches about environmentalism and recycling, and lives a completely green lifestyle.

Is it a good thing to have New Year's Eve be your first date? Like, aren't you obligated by law to kiss someone at midnight if you go out on New Year's?
Did I mention I'm nervous? :scared:

Somebody talk me down!

[BarenakedLady]

1. How exciting!

I hope everything works out ok. Wishing you the best.

:hug:

[intheflow]

16. Thank you.

Not sure if I should take your screen name as an omen of encouragement or warning. :P

[blueraven95]

2. awesome!

I get the nervous...I'd probably be hyperventilating.


He sounds great - you are going to have to let us know how it goes.


If you don't want to kiss him at New Year's, then don't kiss him...or if it feels too soon, just do the cheek kiss. It will be fine!

:hug:

[1]

3. well, just remember (new dating rules) that if he takes you to a really nice restaurant...

and buys you a really nice meal...

you have to "put out" on that first date.


i saw this on "the office" so it must be true...

[orleans]

4. i watch "without a trace" so i won't tell you what could happen according

to that show

[1]

6. hey! it was a joke the character "phyllis lapin" told on the show "the office."

i thought it was a joke well known. maybe not, as it seems.

a joke.

and i don't watch "without a trace" as apparently you do not watch "the office."


ok?

[orleans]

13. ok--and i was being as silly as you

although i DO watch without a trace.

[1]

14. cool. i was trying to be silly, but apparently inappropriate...

my bad...

[orleans]

15. inappropriate? really? i thought it was funny. n/t

[intheflow]

23. OK, you're not helping me cope with my nerves.

;(

You think I should invest in some pepper spray tomorrow?

[orleans]

36. naw--i was just kidding. how was the date? did you happily ring in the new year? n/t

[intheflow]

17. Those are the new dating rules?

They were the dating rules when I was growing up! (At least every guy I dated in high school seemed to think so.:eyes:) Well, you know what they say: everything old is new again. :rofl:

[rug]

5. I thought you were not permitted to date while moderating.

[intheflow]

18. OMG, you're right!!

Please, please, please don't narc me out to Skinner!! :scared:

[ThomCat]

7. I hope that you have a very relaxed and comfortable evening.

:)

I hope that afterward you are both very pleasantly surprised by how NOT stressful it was.

I hope you become friends as well as frequent long term dates.

Or, if he's not the right guy, I hope he becomes a friend who helps introduce you to the right guy.

[blueraven95]

8. goodness, that's really good

I say the exact same thing and I'm pretending that I didn't get it from ThomCat. :evilgrin:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

11. me too!!

:D everything that Thomcat said and More :hug:

[intheflow]

19. Say, that *is* really good.

Thanks for the fortifying words and hopeful vibes! :hi:

[merh]

9. Does he like dogs?

If bear doesn't like him then no "kiss" - got it!

[intheflow]

20. He has two cats.

I should introduce him to the Lounge. :rofl:

Really, that's the biggest drawback so far. Bear thinks cats are a variety of squirrel, and nothing makes Bear happier than chasing squirrels. (Except supper, of course. He is a dog, after all.)

But my date isn't coming here to pick me up. Why?

A) Psycho roommate would probably slash his tires.
B) He lives about an hour to the northwest.
C) I'm not inviting a strange man to my home!!

So we're meeting in between our places, in downtown Denver, which really is about equal distance form both our homes. But you can be sure if there's any chemistry he'll have to pass the Bear test at our next meeting before we can go any further. :)



Nice to see you here, Sweetie. :hug: Feels like forever! Did I tell you I might be down in April for a week working with Back Bay Mission? Walking distance to your house! :bounce:

[merh]

28. Bear can learn to get along with cats.

he is a very smart dog.

I'm sorry you are still stuck with psycho roomie - I thought her lease ran out? It is good to hear that you aren't inviting a stranger to your house and you will be meeting in a neutral place, the Bear test is a must, dogs know who can be trusted or more importantly, who they can trust to be with their people.

Back Bay in April, that will be great. Will you be staying at the mission and bringing Bear? You both are welcome to stay here.

Enjoy your date and don't stress it. He is probably as nervous as you are. :hug:

Happy New Year! :loveya:

[intheflow]

31. Psycho roomie has to be out by Monday!

:woohoo:

Or else she pays $50 a day, retroactive to January 1! :rofl:
Still, she shows no signs of actually moving, not a box packed, nothing to indicate she's vacating in four days. :scared:

She was a real whacko, once again, to my friends--on Christmas, no less. I let her know I'd be having friends over for dinner and board games, even invited her to join us. Never heard a word about her plans. Now, she's a person who works nights, usually gets home around midnight and then stays up until 2 or 3. Of course on Christmas she comes trouncing into the kitchen where we're playing games at 10:30! and has a tantrum about how she has to work first thing in the morning, and she only got an hour of sleep the night before! Announces to all she's going to call the cops if we don't stop having fun! (In retrospect, I would have loved to hear that call: "Officers! My roommate still has guests over at 10:30 p.m. on Christmas! they're playing board games in the kitchen! I need you to come and arrest her!" I imagine the cops would have laughed first and then treated her like the crazy girl she is when they finally showed up hours later.) My friend Chris, who'd never met her before, called me on his way home and asked if I felt safe enough to stay there for the night, she was that psycho. Once again, she made the decision to not tell me her plans so I could make sure my guests were gone when she wanted them gone and instead played the victim. BTW, working first thing in the morning? Yeah, that would be she had to be at work at 11 a.m. She woke and took her shower at 9. x( but I'll get my revenge tonight. I picked up the painting she bled all over from the art restorer today. Cost: $110. She'll have that invoice waiting for her on the counter when she returns home tonight. Landlord says if roomie doesn't pay me, she'll deduct that amount from her deposit and reimburse me. :evilgrin:

The Back Bay Mission thing: Their director came and spoke at a local church here in Denver at the beginning of November. As one of the few other liberal clergy on the Coast, she and I became friends down there, so when I heard she was in town I went to see her. The church is organizing a bus down there, so Bear won't be joining me, sadly. I'm planning on staying at the Mission, but maybe I'll duck out a night or two, stay one night with you and one night with my friend in Gulfport. That would be wonderful!!

Happy New Year to you, too, merh! :loveya:

[merh]

34. Woohooo

psycho roomie will be former roomie soon :woohoo: Thank godness.

So be sure you call me or pmail me on Monday so I know that you are still around and that nutcase didn't seek revenge and to keep the place without distractions. :scared:

About the travels, the bus can accommodate Bear, he is the perfect mascot - he is a Katrina mascot, former helper, he should be allowed to return. You need to bring him.

Hope you have a great date - Happy New Year! :toast:

:hug:

[abbeyco]

30. Good luck and just have fun!

I didn't know you were a fellow Denver-ite! :hi:

I hope you're going somewhere good - downtown will be popping tonite with all kinds of fun stuff, including fab fireworks at 9pm and midnight.

I just started dating again this year and while it can be awkward, just be yourself - you'll endear yourself to him or send him screaming into traffic LOL (and that's a joke!)

If you feel like it, where ever you end up at midnight, step out, watch the fireworks and if there are internal fireworks for the two of you, smooch like crazy! Kissing and fireworks are two of the best things!

Have fun!

[crim son]

10. Don't be nervous.

Think of this date as practice, and remember that he's probably not nearly as cute as his picture suggests. :P

Seriously, think of it as something to do on New Year's Eve. If you end up giving him a kiss at midnight, what's the harm? I wish you good luck and lots of fun!

[intheflow]

21. You got that right about the photo.

I know I'm not as cute in real life as my picture! :rofl:

Thanks for the good wishes! :hi:

[1]

12. be yourself and enjoy the evening,,,

i'm sorry i cracked a joke above in this thread.

the most wonderful thing about a date is meeting someone new. do not try to be something other than who you are. say what you mean. say who you are. if they like what they hear, cool. if they don't, cool.

its no reflection on you. if you can go home at the end of any date and tell yourself that you showed that person who you are, then they will call you again or they will not.

if they call again then there may be some possibility. if they do not, then it was not to be.

dating is so simple. just be yourself. just show yourself. announce your presence with authority.


that doesn't mean he is not going to turn out to be a total douchbag. odds are he will.

but at least you did your part...

[intheflow]

22. Don't try to be something other than who I am?

You obviously never met me in person because I am absolutely unable to hide my complete and utter nerdiness, I wear my politics on my sleeve, and I laugh in all the wrong places. Thankfully I'm so darn cute many men have overlooked these deficiencies. :D (Or, more likely, they were just horn dogs who wanted to get laid. lol)

And OMG, never apologize for cracking a joke to me. I am the queen of inappropriate humor. Yes, just another of my endearingly awkward social skills! Plus, you know, I have a pretty thick skin for anything that's said on DU. It's a pre-requisite for being a mod.

Thanks for the encouragement and advice, though! :hug:

[1]

24. you sound to me the perfect of all dates.

and thank you for forgiving me my humor. but don't be too quick to offer me a hug. i am getting a rep here for being almost universally hated.

i post in gd. and i don't always follow the "normal" ways of looking at things. just so you know.


i don't know you, but if you approach a date just as you seem to approach life... fearless, confident, honest...

you can not go wrong.

:hug:

[intheflow]

32. Hey.

You know, curmudgeons need hugs, too! :hi:

[malta blue]

25. relax and have fun!

:pals:

I had a pseudo date last week, and even if though was with a very old friend it did make me feel better about my relationship woes.

[Callalily]

26. You do know that all will

go well and afterward you'll be wondering why you were so nervous.

Lots of good advice above, and can't think of anything to add so . . . wishing you a good and relaxed time!

[NewJeffCT]

27. I would tell you to temper your expectations

but, I suspect it's already too late for that.

Just relax and have fun otherwise. Good luck.

[applegrove]

29. Sounds very exciting. You have alot to talk about what with both being progressives. Have fun.

[Lisa0825]

33. I hope he is worthy of you!

Cuz you are AWESOME! :loveya:

[Cassandra]

35. I had a first date last week.

I'd met him very briefly at a meetup party, We set up the date a few days later. He was a total gentleman; called to confirm, paid like a prince, told me everything he liked about me. Definitely one of the nicest dates I've had. He called me yesterday to tell me he'll be on a business trip early next month and he'll call me when he gets back and I think he will.
I wish you an equally pleasant experience.