What Makes You Feel Worthwhile?

[SPKrazy]

not anything about others or what helping others might do.

Just what about YOU makes you know you are worthwhile?

I'm curious because I have a hard time finding my worth from inside


thanks


SPK

[Deja Q]

1. *

* Hope
* Exercise
* Studying
* Reading 5 portentous fortune cookies in a row
* Tina Turner
* And how much more wonderful my smartphone is when compared to ANYONE else's. :P

[SPKrazy]

2. cool

[leftyclimber]

3. Taking time for myself

Sounds crazy and selfish, but it's so easy to let that part of life go.

Going to the gym is important, eating right is important, all that jazz, but I spend so much time doing things that aren't "for me" that doing something I want to do is a treat.

When I take "me" time I remember that I'm a pretty good writer, or that I like a wide variety of books and music, or that I'm sensitive to certain things about the human condition, or some other little epiphany that I'd somehow forgotten I enjoy about myself. It's not necessarily that I'm a "worthwhile" person. It's that I enjoy myself. Meaning that I enjoy spending time with me, not that I'm having a good time. They're qualitatively different.

Have you made a list of your good qualities lately? It sounds dumb, but it's a good thing to check in with yourself once in a while. Little things that are good about you are just as important as the so-called "big" things. The little things add up. (I have double-jointed thumbs. Not everyone can make their thumbs go backward. I am therefore unique and cool. :) )

Try enjoying what is unique about yourself. "Worthwhile" sounds like an external judgement term. Enjoy you. Don't judge you. You can't do that without making comparisons to other people, and that's pointless.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

9. I think you have said some

very good things, and I like your point about worthwhile sounding like an external judgment term.

thanks

:hug:

[Critters2]

4. Seriously, all my self-esteem comes from outside, from what I do for others.

Maybe that's a problem, but it gets me out of bed in the morning.

[SPKrazy]

7. And I get that

I'm looking for what the old psych term would be, an internal locus of control

[BeachBaby]

5. This is sappy, but.....

Being in love.

It truly is the only time where I feel like the world is on my side - to have someone who is my emotional and spiritual twin, who "gets" me. When I have that, my overall sense of happiness and being filters out into the rest of my little world - my kids, my friends, my family, my work. It's when I'm at my best.

[SPKrazy]

6. But see, that's just it...

mine has been just that... however that's not "me", that's depending on someone else in a sense, a bond to make me "whole" or worthwhile, I am needing to learn how to feel worthwhile alone or with someone, and not have it dependent on anyone else. Maybe that is when I find a truly spiritual twin.

[Danger Mouse]

8. Nobody is worthwhile on their own.

[SPKrazy]

10. I disagree

we all have to have value and worth

[Danger Mouse]

28. My value and worth is in the work I do and what I try to do for others.

[SPKrazy]

33. that is worthy and good what you do

your worth however is something from inside, inherent worth, that's all I'm saying

[Danger Mouse]

42. Nobody has inherent worth.

[SPKrazy]

45. well then we agree to disagree

[crim son]

13. That may be true, but only from a historical perspective.

Many people live lives which are largely centered on nothing more than their own ambition or interest, and often it is these people who have the greatest impact on society. I don't agree with you, however. No life is more valuable than the next, except as it pleases or satisfies the person living it. We're all ants in a huge colony anyway.

[Danger Mouse]

27. I think a person's life has been worthless if they haven't given to others.

[crim son]

34. I understand.

I disagree; I can be very practical at times.

[Danger Mouse]

43. Giving can be as simple a thing as love.

Somebody who has not given love, given a part of themselves, to others, has lived an absolutely meaningless life.
Tell me the worth of a man who has not shared love with other people.

[SPKrazy]

47. I don't think I could disagree with what you are saying here at all

I do believe that people are worthwhile in and of themselves and that the more one is feeling that the more they give and visa versa

[Inchworm]

49. Reason is the slave of passion

or something like that.

Dang memory! :P

:)

[Inchworm]

63. Still sober yet tonight and remembered who said quote

Hume
Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office than to serve and obey them.

:hi:

[crim son]

48. So you are saying that everybody's life has meaning?

Fair enough. I do believe that virtually every human being (excepting, perhaps, some sociopaths) has given love and maybe felt it being returned. I'm not sure that gives his/her life meaning, or rather gives meaning to the one who loves. Maybe you're saying, we all affect one another. Also true. Ripples in the pond and all that. Maybe the solitary person I'm imagining doesn't exist, but there are quite a few of us who don't feel particularly important in the grand scheme of things. (Not me, naturally. I am The Goddess.)

[SPKrazy]

51. you are my

goddess

slave spk here

:P

[crim son]

52. And YOU are supposed to be in bed.

:D

[Inchworm]

46. Greek-types argued both sides of that very point

For yeeeears :D

:)

[crim son]

11. Learning to do something new.

If I do it well, so much the better. If I can't learn how to do something, then I enjoy just learning something. I'll read a history or a biography. In fact, reading womens' biographies has been very important all my adult life, because other peoples' stories help me to view my own path with a bit of objectivity.

Pawpicker, when all else fails, bake bread from scratch, and eat a couple slices loaded with fresh butter. Seriously.

[SPKrazy]

12. You'll have to teach me how to bake bread from scratch

when I come to see you :D

[crim son]

14. Done!

It's very easy, that's why I suggest it, and oddly satisfying! :D

[SPKrazy]

15. we can bake bread together

on our knees, on our knees :P

wait that's not how the song goes

:hug:

:loveya:

how ya doin?

[crim son]

16. What song is that?

I'm doing okay. This is my first Friday alone at the new place and it feels weird. Weirdly warm, that is. How are you? :loveya:

[SPKrazy]

17. Sitting here with my son who is up way past his bedtime

but, he is watching a movie.

Congrats on the new house.

Weirdly warm isn't bad. I've missed talking to you. Left a message on your "this is an answering machine" as if I didn't know that :P

very tired otherwise, was ready to go down and just sign whatever and say the hell with it, I'm done.

Heavy black raincloud over head for at least 11 more days. Looking more and more like we will end up in court for NO DAMNED GOOD REASON except that someone didn't get their shit together on the settlement :grr:

edit for the song

an old relgious song "let us break bread together on our knees"

[crim son]

21. Hmmmm. I brought to mind a religious song?

You have made me laugh. :P

I did listen to your message when I was over at the house - was it yesterday morning? This week has gone so quickly and I have barely slept. I still have the phone over there and am waiting for a hookup over here, which I'm told may take another week. This is about the only way to reach me unless you call on a weekday between 8:45 and 9:30, when I'm at the other place moving stuff. I miss you too!

God, sorry about ending up in court. I'm having questions about what's happening at my end, too, but I'm waiting to have the basic settlement drawn up before I freak out. STBE is heading down to Boston next week to meet his online flame for the first time. I sincerely hope it works for him though I am afraid of how she might influence his decisions about me and the kids, you know?

Say hi to the Big Boy. :)

[SPKrazy]

29. I'll say hi to my son too....

along with the big boy :P

:rofl:

it will all work out :hug:

;)

[Inchworm]

20. Youtubed it

I tried to find it before SPK said the title but failed :D

It's perdy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXKbECLHCHI

:hi:

[crim son]

22. Thank you, Inchworm!

I'll try to listen, but this stolen internet connection is so slow it doesn't do youtube very well. I'm hoping to be officially hooked up within a week or so. :hi:

[crim son]

25. It is pretty!

Thank you v. much, Inchworm!

[Inchworm]

26. You are quite welcome

:hi:

[grasswire]

54. here it is

Let us break bread together on our knees, (on our knees)
let us break bread together on our knees. (on our knees)
When I fall on my knees with my face to the rising sun,
O Lord, have mercy on me. (on me)

2. Let us drink wine together on our knees, (on our knees)
let us drink wine together on our knees. (on our knees)
When I fall on my knees with my face to the rising sun,
O Lord, have mercy on me. (on me)


etc.

[DarkTirade]

18. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me.

[SPKrazy]

19. If that really worked, Al Franken would be a senator by now

oh :yoiks:

he is :rofl:

[AlCzervik]

23. damn SPK you turned on the heavy.

i like to read, especially non fiction and then file away those facts until a game of trivial pursuit happens.

[SPKrazy]

30. thanks, that's

interesting

:D

[AlCzervik]

35. i was watching cash cab the other night with my daughter and she says

"How do you know all these answers on this show and on Jeopardy"---Reading!

[SPKrazy]

38. is fun-damental

:D

[Shell Beau]

24. Being outside and seeing all of nature.

It really shows that it isn't all about me. There is sooo much to see and discover. I can go sit outside on my porch in the mornings, drinking my version of coffee, and watch the squirrels and birds and be so at peace. Just today I saw this hawk landing in a field and it made me happy. Not sure why either.

[SPKrazy]

32. That's cool Shell

thanks

:hug:

how's the little one?

[Shell Beau]

37. She is growing like crazy. She is getting so big.

She is trying her best to sit up. She is only 4 months (next week) but she is trying her damnedest. She is also giggling up a storm. Makes me smile like nothing else can. She is one happy baby. And the cutest thing EVER. I think she may be the next Gerber baby. I am not a proud mom at all!! ;)

[SPKrazy]

39. She looks very cute

of course her mama is cute too :D

[Shell Beau]

40. Aww! Thanks!

:pals:

[Fire Walk With Me]

31. Validating my inner voice.

Edit: The one in my heart.

[SPKrazy]

36. interesting

vewy interesting :D

like it

[CaliforniaPeggy]

41. My dear Southpawkicker...

What makes me feel worthwhile?

I think it's my basic self-esteem...I can look inside myself, and for the most part, I like what I see. I have enough self-confidence to know that I am pretty smart most of the time.

Love also makes me feel worthwhile, but that's something that comes from outside me...

But it does reinforce my good feelings about myself.

Good luck, sweetie...

FWIW, I think you're a terrific, intelligent guy with a lot of goodness...

:hug:

[RFKHumphreyObama]

44. I don't know

I think I'm in same the place as you and have been for a long time.

Since my sister has just given birth to a niece, it may be being an uncle but we'll see

:hug:

[RoyGBiv]

50. Not anything about helping others ...

Well, nothing then.

[reyd reid reed]

53. If I stop and think about it,

I'd probably say my creativity. I'm always making something, whether it's knitting or sewing or cooking or writing...

Sadly, that's also what generally makes me feel worthless as well, since it's a pretty effective waste of time since nothing ever comes of my grand dreams or the things that I make.

[Roon]

55. Helping my Grandparents run errands

To the doctor,to the grocery..

[grasswire]

56. memories

.....the infinite kaleidoscope of replayed bits of life in the mind's eye -- times when someone loved me; times when I was brave; times when I was shockingly successful in matters large and small.

The other day a famous European pianist/professor of music asked me to be his you-tube friend. Ha! I am not worthy of that honor. I'm just a very serious and devoted listener. But it made me realize all kinds of things about how people might perceive me, and I felt a mile high. It was great.

[Fearless]

57. Teaching.

:)

[femmocrat]

60. Ah.... I remember when I felt worthwhile because of teaching....

It was before they kicked all the idealism out of me.

[Fearless]

66. Sigh...

;(

[Nevernose]

68. Teaching school is the best thing to ever happen to me.

I don't believe so much in the supernatural or in divine plans, but if there IS a god and she DOES have a plan for mankind, then my role in that plan is being a schoolteacher. I've got a 180 kids in my role book in a year, and I love each and every one of them as if they were my own. And they know that, and they show me how I've made a difference in their lives. They'll come up to me in June and say, "Mister, at the beginning of the year you said you weren't going to teach English, that you were going to teach about the human condition, and we all thought you were crazy, but now I think you're the best teacher I ever had." It's still the hardest job I can imagine, but it's worth it. At least I can sleep well, which is more than a lot of people get.

After a while one does start to internalize that stuff, but really: internal, external, what does it matter? If you're basically happy with what you're doing, what do you care where it comes from?

[Fearless]

69. ...

:hi:

[Lucian]

58. I have no self worth.

And it's getting worse with each passing day, if that makes any sense.

[JohnnieGordon]

59. I'm a survivor

I've had, and still have, multiple health issues and have been betrayed by everyone I know. My mom is the only one of them I ever patched things up with. But I'm still here. The way I look at it, there's so many other people ready to knock me down, I'm not going to be one of them.

[skygazer]

61. The things about me that let me know I'm worthwhile

Are the things that compel me to do things for others. Compassion. Generosity. The ability to put myself in someone else's shoes and try to understand their feelings. I'm a good person, and a worthwhile person because I'm NOT only looking inside myself.

I don't believe everyone has an inherent worth, except as a repository of DNA. I don't believe that narcissistic, inwardly-looking, selfish people have any essential worth. They simply take up space, and don't contribute to anything except their own gratification. Luckily, I also don't believe that there are too many people who are completely narcissistic and self-absorbed - I think most people do have some redeeming worth in their interactions with others.

[frogmarch]

62. I feel worthwhile when

I let my imagination take me to the far distant past, where I gaze with pride and awe into the eyes of my australopithecine ancestors.

[Texasgal]

64. When one of my patients say

" thank you".

[BarenakedLady]

65. No clue

My self-worth has been so tied up in others for so long, I have no idea who I am anymore.

I'm soon going to find out, that's for damn sure.

[SPKrazy]

67. you and me both baby

:hug: