Post your very best asshole-induced rant!

[Bertha Venation]

Mine is brief:

You stupid motherfucker, you're driving a goddamned 18-wheeler and you hit me!!

Yours? It can be that brief or a long tale. Can't wait to read!

[lost-in-nj]

1. Does this mean

you got hit by a truck??? :scared:

you OK??????

geesh

:pals: :hi:


lost

[Bertha Venation]

3. Yep!!

We were not hurt. Thanks!

Read the original thread
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=8340483

And one from today that scares me
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=8408730

:pals:

edited to show correct link

[NYC_SKP]

2. "You're a scumbag, and your brother's a scumbag, too"

At a bar mitzvah at the Waldorf Astoria about 23 years ago.

The Canouse brothers from Berwick PA, nice enough fellows but we were pretty drunk and one of them was pestering my girlfriend.

We all ended up in a heap of tuxedos with women in gowns pulling us apart.

Good times.

[Lil Missy]

4. Hey Doc, I said I wanted a Bud Lite, not a butt light!!!

[BOSSHOG]

5. You ignorant fucking slut

you've been ignorant for years and proud of it, sarah palin is a fucking genious compared to you - My thoughts on a little right wing jerkoff female on local radio whom I listen to about five minutes a week just to confirm my opinion of her. God what a fucking idiot.

[Forkboy]

6. "You Everlast half shirt wearing fuckface!"

Followed shortly there afer by a night in the gray bar hotel. x(

[mikeytherat]

7. I wish I could have recorded it, because I heard the Best Ever Asshole-Induced Rant just yesterday.

I called a buddy of mine yesterday afternoon, and got him on his car speaker-phone just a split-second after he was almost in a nasty accident. A fellow motorist had cut him off (on the freeway), and my buddy barely missed eating a Jersey barrier and being rear-ended. I got him about one second into his rant to the doofus who nearly killed him. It sounded like a badly wounded sailor, or perhaps a pirate who had just lost another limb, and it was an endless string of obscenities that just went and went and went. By the time he realized I was on the phone and yelled, "Hello!" I was laughing so hard I couldn't answer him.

mikey_the_rat

[guitar man]

8. get off the fucking phone!!

Hang up and drive for fuck's sake!! You don't own the road and like it or not, motorcycles and bikers have equal rights and right of way, dickwad!!!!!1!11!!!1 :grr:


haw was that? :shrug:

[TZ]

9. okay

Shit! What the fuck is the problem with you fucking bitches, its saturday morning some of us are trying to sleep goddamnit!
This was the first thing out of my mouth about a month into my second year at Maryland, when someone above us starting dribbling a basketball at EIGHT AM on a Saturday morning. My roomie didn't know me very well yet and she hadn't ever heard me curse before..Shocked the hell out of her...:rofl:
Moral of the story..Don't wake me up. You wouldn't like me when I'm tired..:evilgrin:

[madinmaryland]

13. Well, sounds like this...

Someone (who is a closet Romo fan) is razzing a dedicated Cowboys fan about the end of their season.

My response: STFU, Snyder!!

:rofl:

[Critters2]

10. Look. Assholes. A blizzard warning does NOT mean you'll be locked

in your houses for weeks on end! You and every stupid mofo this side of the equator DO NOT have to run to the grocery store, on MY day off, when I ALWAYS DO MY SHOPPING, to stock up on shit! You probably have enough food to survive a day or two! IT'S NOT A NUCLEAR ATTACK for God's sake!!! Get a grip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you.

[bluedigger]

11. You fucking idiot!

If you didn't think you could make it across the intersection, why did you start? I knew we could both make it, assuming you didn't stop halfway through, you dumb ass! Now I'm stuck in the middle of two lanes of traffic! No problem you loser, I'll just pull up beside your sorry pea-brain ass. Oh look! Here comes the street car, on whose line we are now both parked. You stupid fuck!

[rcrush]

12. YOU ARE THE ONES WHO ARE THE BALL LICKERS!

WE'RE GONNA FUCK YOUR MOTHERS WHILE YOU WATCH AND CRY LIKE LITTLE BITCHES. ONCES WE GET TO HOLLYWOOD AND FIND THOSE MIRAMAX FUCKS WHO ARE MAKING THT MOVIE, WE'RE GONNA MAKE 'EM EAT OUR SHIT, THEN SHIT OUT OUR SHIT, THEN EAT THEIR SHIT WHICH IS MADE UP OF OUR SHIT THAT WE MADE 'EM EAT. THEN ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKS ARE NEXT!


Love, Jay and Silent Bob.

[Bertha Venation]

14. anyone else?

[MajorChode]

15. You so ugly....

They hang your picture up at the zoo to keep the monkeys from jacking off.