Was walking down the street today on my way to work. I passed a mother

[applegrove]

with a toddler on the sidewalk. It was freezing outside. She didn't have any gloves on her kids. I said nothing. Am I a fink?

[Pacifist Patriot]

1. Good luck keeping gloves on toddlers.

Sorry, but this is a situation where judgment should definitely be reserved. Natural consequences work quite well.

I lived in New Jersey when my two oldest sons were 4-5 and 4 months to almost 2. Kids have this really weird impervious nature to temperatures that bother adults. Heck, my kids went swimming last night and it was probably 58 degrees outside.

Anyway, if a kid of any age is uncomfortable, he or she will let you know. Either by statement, whining or crying.

When I was in NJ I'm sure countless people silently castigated me as a cruel and incompetent mother. If I put a hat on my boys they yanked it off. If I put mittens on them they tossed them over the side of the stroller. If I had a dime for every article of outerwear they dumped and subsequently lost I could make a house payment.

Don't worry about the kid and lighten up on the mom. No telling what the true situation was.

[applegrove]

2. That makes me feel a little bit better.

[Pacifist Patriot]

3. I'm so glad. Seriously, don't sweat it.

Unless you've walked in those shoes it can seem a very odd sight indeed. I can think of thousands of things I've done with my children that looked absolutely horrid by independent observers, but were completely innocent.

For example, I once had a woman get in my face and totally rail on me because I had my son in a harness. She had no idea he was a classic "bolter" and was also prone to nursemaid's elbow. So basically, if I held his hand he would twist his arm to get away from me and run like hell, thereby dislocating his elbow and possibly darting into traffic. I found the harness (some people mistakenly refer to it as a leash) much more humane since it distributed the weight of the restraint against his chest, allowed him some freedom of movement but enabled me to control his exploration. Her entire perspective was focused on me treating my kid like a dog. Oh well, she can think I am a horrible and abusive parent all she wants. I know my kid is safe.

[applegrove]

5. If I had kids I'd put them on harnesses. Why I can't have kids I cannot

stand to see kids running free. I have PTSD and cannot take the adrenaline rush that comes with being a parent occasionally. Basically I'm broken in that regard. But yeah..I'm sure there was some reason why this lady had her gloves off her kid. The gloves were right there in the stroller but not on. She may have just given up when I came along.

[Pacifist Patriot]

7. Parenting isn't for everyone and I have incredible respect for those who acknowledge that.

[applegrove]

8. I always assumed I would have kids. But my life got messed with and

now I have limits I didn't have before. Sometimes I cannot believe I will never have kids. But emotionally I need quiet and stability. Plus I don't have a partner so I would have noone to rely on.

I'll just have to be happy as an aunt.

[Dangerously Amused]

4. I remember a twenty minute SCREAMING, rolling on the floor and kicking tantrum

...by my two year old niece who did NOT want to put her coat on to go outside in ten degree weather. NO amount of reasoning, threats or force would get her coat on. We had to walk outside quite a distance to our car, and we had to get going. So at length we took her without her coat. She lasted about two minutes before she asked for her coat. And the looks from people who passed us by in those two minutes would have liked to kill us. But we never had another coat tantrum again.

[applegrove]

6. Yep. Probably there was a logical explanation for why that mom had "the gloves off".