The Best, most ass-kicking Movie of the 80's

[Orrex]

Poll question: The Best, most ass-kicking Movie of the 80's

If you're inclined to vote "other," I suggest that you post your own poll. You'll still be wrong, but at least you can make up whatever third-tier choices you want.

[Fire Walk With Me]

1. The Road Warrior?

[Orrex]

3. Feh. Jack Burton could kick his ass

[Fire Walk With Me]

4. Imma send EWOKS to get MEDIEVAL on your ass!

:cry:

[jobycom]

69. And Kurt Russel used his own voice!

[flvegan]

2. The Terminator.

For the 80's, I have to go to Arnold.

Raw Deal and Predator were both ass-kicking flicks too.

[Orrex]

5. Nonsense. Yoyodyne beats Cyberdyne 10 times out of 10

You know it's true.

[flvegan]

10. Yeah, if you're an idiot.

Buckaroo Banzai sounds like a second tier WWE feature.

[Orrex]

13. It's got Christopher Lloyd playing a villain. A villain!

How can you beat that? It's even got John Lithgow before he sucked.

[flvegan]

16. Isn't he the Back to the Future guy?

And Lithgow got better. 3rd Rock, anyone?

[Orrex]

21. He was John Bigbootie before he was Emmet Brown

And 3rd Rock is the second worst show ever to air on NBC. The worst? That would be http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twenty_Good_Years">Twenty Good Years.


See a pattern?

[flvegan]

25. Got a link?

This alleged "second worst show" on NBC?

[Orrex]

27. I laugh at your inability to spot inlined hyperlinks

Ha ha.

[flvegan]

35. Wikipedia is your source? What are you, an internet rookie?

[Orrex]

36. For drek like that, it's as good a source as any

Do you think it would suck less if it came straight from the NBC archives?

Of course not--it would still have Lithgow in it, after all.

[flvegan]

37. Whatever, replicant.

[Orrex]

38. Know what the best thing about Blade Runner is?

Lithgow isn't in it.

Of course, Brion James is in it, and that's kind of off-putting.

[Phillycat]

39. It ends...eventually?

[Orrex]

40. Clearly you're afflicted with mad cow disease. Too much British beef.

Which may or may not be a euphemism.

[flvegan]

42. S to the N to the A to the P!

[geardaddy]

87. "Bigboo-TAY! TAY! TAY!"

;)

[DarkTirade]

31. Hell, Christopher Lloyd played a Klingon in Star Trek 3.

He makes for a great villain, but he's so rarely used as such.

[Phillycat]

6. How the hell is Die Hard not on this list?

[Orrex]

7. Because John McClane is just too damned close to John McCain

Hey, where the hell have you been?

[Phillycat]

8. Moved to London, got a life.

I know, THAT'S NOT ALLOWED. :D

[Orrex]

9. How are you handling the language barrier?

And is it still 1978 there?

[Phillycat]

11. Only in Manchester. :D

I just call everyone I meet a fecking tosser and it all seems to work out fine.

[Orrex]

14. Does the Benny Hill theme play all the time?

If it doesn't, don't tell me--you'd ruin my whole image of the country.

[Phillycat]

20. Yes, and everyone has bad teeth and boils their meat.

Um, that's not a euphemism.

[flvegan]

12. I'm so jealous. You get Top Gear a day before I can torrent it.

Actually, I'd love to live in the UK. Maybe when I'm a rockstar.

Good to see you.

[Phillycat]

15. I'm in Virginia at the moment. So I'm not getting anything except rednecks.

Waiting for my spousal visa to come through from the consulate. I went over for 3 months on a tourist visa, then had to come back to get this. I've been here since November 5th. I haven't seen my husband in two months! :cry:

Good to see you too. :)

[flvegan]

19. I triple dog dare you to call AAA and tell them you need a lorry for a tow.

Seriously, though that sucks. Do you have an eta on that visa?

[Phillycat]

22. I heard from them yesterday. Supposedly next week.

Of course, they can do it in whatever good goddamned time they choose and there's not a fucking thing I can do about it.

Ah, petty tyrants in bureaucracy. How I love them.

[Orrex]

30. Just wait for the strip-search

[Phillycat]

34. There's a grammar quiz too.

I have to define "trolley", "lorry", "maths", "pants", and "lift". I'm still studying! :cry:

[Orrex]

23. Is THAT a euphemism?

It's hard to keep track, with your new accent.

[Phillycat]

24. Let's hope so.

I'm going to stop hijacking your thread now. :D

[Orrex]

28. Really, it's not my thread. It's everyone's thread.

I'm totally egalitarian like that.

[Phillycat]

29. It's a gift to the world!

:D

[Broken_Hero]

62. Jesus...a friend of mine, would always

mix John McClane and John McCain up all the time...he would be like "who the hell would vote for John McClane!?!?!" and I'm like...well, he definately won't get the Hans Gruber vote....

[begin_within]

17. The Stunt Man (1980)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081568/

[Orrex]

26. Is that the Burt Reynolds film? Or the Lee Majors series?

Anyway, Peter O'Toole is hard to beat, but Big Trouble in Little China has James Hong, who might be the coolest actor of all time.

And he's been in every film and most tv shows since 1955.

[begin_within]

32. Neither

Have you seen "The Stunt Man?" I think "best, most ass-kicking movie of the 1980s" is basically a tie between "The Stunt Man" and "Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back," both released in 1980.

[Orrex]

33. Pish tosh. Neither of those films features James Hong

James Hong!

[begin_within]

53. Oh well, I tried

[Dr. Strange]

18. Buckaroo Bonzai really put Peter Weller, John Lithgow, and Jeff Goldblum on the map.

Without it, there's no Robocop, Footloose, or that Friends episode that had Jeff Goldblum in it.

[kentauros]

41. For out and out ass-kicking between the two choices

easily "Big Trouble in Little China" much as I hate to say it. Buckaroo Banzai is my favorite movie of the two, but Kurt Russell does far more ass-kicking than Peter Weller. At least until he plays RoboCop :D

Kurt Russell had some great fun movies back then. His best and funniest is still Used Cars, and they did some great ass-kicking in that movie, too :P

"Look_out... Marshall Lucky! It's High Prices!"

[flvegan]

43. But the choices suck! It's like saying what shit do you want to eat more?

Dog or human?

[kentauros]

45. Every poll is limited

Ask Skinner if we can have polls that everyone can add to, then :P

They're fun movies, and bizarre in their own right. The rest of the movies y'all have suggested just aren't quite as weird ;)

[flvegan]

48. Limited to 10. The OP chose 2. Two craptacular "flicks".

Like I said, dog or human shit?

[kentauros]

54. Depends on the definition of "shit"

(from Firesign Theater)

(announcer) "So here’s your last deal Ms. Presky...now... which would you rather do..........hit this dude over the head with a bag of sugar ...or beat out that rhythm on the drums..."

(Woman)"Er....ahhhhh....I'll take the bag!"

(announcer) "You mean your gonna trade this four foot cube of 18 karat Swiss Bullion ...........and the snake knives, Mrs. Presky ........all for that little bag ...."

(woman) "Yeah..."

(announcer) "Well alllllright!!...open it up!!....."

(woman) "Why...why this is a bag of shit!"

(announcer) "But its really great shit, Mrs. Presky......"

:P

[Orrex]

51. I don't know if this is relevant, but flvegan has had sexual congress with watermelons

And not just a couple of them, either.

[flvegan]

55. Motion to Strike the Testimony of this "Orrex" person

This information did not come up during Discovery and the Prosecution didn't present "Orrex" as a witness.

[Orrex]

57. Denied. It's a matter of public record and relevant to the proceedings at hand.

Now that I've had a moment to reflect on the horrible truth of it, that is.


Shame.



Shame.

[flvegan]

59. I fail to see where these allegations are of public record, hence my Motion.

And, considering that they are allegations, they shouldn't be allowed to cloud the opinion of the jury.

Allegations being a preposition of fact, not fact as it is.

[Orrex]

60. Did you have the records sealed?

Yes or no?

Do you still have indecent contact with watermelons?

Yes or no?



We're waiting.

[LeftyMom]

99. Then watermelons are exceptionally lucky fruit.

[Orrex]

106. I wasn't assessing his mellon-mounting prowess, mind you

Merely stating a fact.

[pokerfan]

44. No Raiders of the Lost Ark?

(I didn't feel like posting my own poll.)

[Orrex]

47. Sorry, but that film sucks

Because the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was so bad that it befouled all that came before it.

[pokerfan]

50. I never saw Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

and never intend to.

It simply doesn't exists in my universe.

[Orrex]

52. Okay, then your nomination is acceptable

Here, in the ugly real world, that wretched film does exist, and the whole series is downgraded as a result.

[MrScorpio]

46. Blade Runner

To be followed by The Thing

[Orrex]

49. See my earlier comments re: Brion James

And The Thing is only good because it MacReady is a shadow of Jack Burton.

[scheming daemons]

56. Evil Dead... and Evil Dead 2.....

[Orrex]

58. Worthy contenders, both

But they lack the necessary component of Goldblum and/or Hong.

[Lethe]

61. BTILC

great, silly movie

[Sebastian Doyle]

63. First Blood (a.k.a. "Rambo I")

This one was less of a Reaganite ammo-porn fantasy than the sequels, and focused on a believable story of a Vietnam Vet who just found out his last war buddy has died (from Agent Orange caused cancer, of course) and before he can process that loss, he's harrassed by a bunch of jackass redneck cops in a small allegedly Washington state town (though it was actually filmed in Hope B.C.)

Considering these asshats treated him about as bad as the VietCong did, it's no wonder he snapped, and declared war on them.

And on a side note.... isn't it funny that you never see Rambo III on TV anymore? You know.... the one where the "good guys" are Arab terrorists in Afghanistan. Wonder why that is? :evilgrin:

[Orrex]

79. About Part III

I'm pretty sure it aired here in western PA sometime in the last year, but it was on one of the lesser channels.

You're right, though--the film sort fell out of favor with The Party... I seem to remember it being criticized at the time of release because of its portrayal of the Soviets, too, but I could be mistaken.

[Left Is Write]

86. First Blood was great.

I have no use for the sequels.

[Rabrrrrrr]

64. Oh, please. For out and out ass-kicking, it's Conan the Barbarian.

Fight scenes with real swords, real hammers, real pillars falling down, and real fire.

[Jamastiene]

65. I'll second that one.

:thumbsup:

[Orrex]

71. And let's not forget the lamentation of the women

And it has Max von Sydow and Mako. That's a one-two punch that's hard to beat.


Hmm...

[Tighelander]

66. The Movie Poster

Do you remember when Superman died back in 1993? Well it made people a lot of money; one of the editors was a big fan of Big Trouble, and that money allowed him to pay $35,000 for the poster. At least that how I heard it.

[Tighelander]

67. The Origins of "Buckaroo"

The word "buckaroo" was created when gringos tried to say the spanish word for cowboy and couldn't quite wrap their tongues around it. The spanish word is "vaquero".

[jobycom]

68. That's like asking us to choose between Bruce Springsteen or Bob Dylan!

It was easy for me, though. When I read your thread title, I thought "Big Trouble in Little China." :thumbsup:

[coyotespaw]

70. Somehow, you lesser mortals managed to forget the greatest movie ever...

Highlander...

It won an academy award...

[Orrex]

72. It suffers from the same problem as Raiders of the Lost Ark

Namely, later installments were so bad that they corrupted the original retroactively.

Sorry, MacLeod. The Quickening knocks you out of the running, Oscar or no Oscar.

[coyotespaw]

108. There were later installments?

I'm pretty sure that there could be only one.

[theboss]

73. Red Dawn

That movie was porn to me when I was 12.

[Orrex]

78. Films witih Michael Ironside are disqualified

Even if I only think that he's in them.

[theboss]

81. Michael Ironside should be in every movie, though he was not in Red Dawn

That was Powers Booth.

Who should be in every other movie.

[Deep13]

74. Empire Strikes Back

[Orrex]

77. Disqualified because it bears the stink of George Lucas

And you know that he'd have put some Gungans in Cloud City if he had the chance.

[TZ]

75. I found Big Trouble in Little China incredibly dumb.

However Buckaroo Banzai was a brilliant and often forgotten movie. Can't tell you how many times I've seen it. John Lithgow never did anything that came close to that, IMHO...:)

[Orrex]

76. You're absolutely right re: BB

Lithgow's performance was magnificent.

Both films share a particularly excellent feature IMO; they're entirely self-contained, yet each plays upon a much larger universe as a backdrop. That's somewhat rare, especially in more recent years, when sequels and prequels abound in an effort to "explain" and "explore" the characters more fully (but are in fact simply an attempt to scrape more money out of a franchise--I'm talking to you, Connor MacLeod).

[Dr. Strange]

82. Nice post, John Bigbooty.

:D

[TZ]

83. You would like that name wouldn't you

I like John Ya-Ya myself..Oh I need to watch that movie again..its been awhile...:)

[kentauros]

88. Bigboo-tay! Tay!!!

:D

[Dr. Strange]

90. Where are we going?

[Orrex]

91. Planet Ten!

When are we going?

[Dr. Strange]

93. Real soon!

[kentauros]

100. Yoyodyne intercom announcement:

"The only joy is the joy of duty. Work... work... work."

[BeachBaby]

80. Lethal Weapon.

[TZ]

84. That was an excellent movie indeed.

But umm, ever since that incident, I can't bring myself to watch Mel "sugartits" Gibson anymore..x(

[redqueen]

85. They Live had the best asskicking fight scene IMO.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqKFadyJxwg

[Orrex]

92. Believe it or not, I had that one in the running (SPOILERS)

It's also commendable for the fact that the hero dies, which almost never happens in American films.

[redqueen]

95. I like that the fight scene looks like a real fight...

and not the usual movie nonsense. (Not that I dislike all movie nonsense. I love martial arts nonsense. :))

[Orrex]

98. Yeah--it's slow and clumsy, which I suspect is a lot closer to reality!

It also goes on and on, which is sort of comical in itself, but it kind of fits the tone.

Good fun!

[derby378]

89. Robocop

The original movie, complete with Peter "Buckaroo Banzai" Weller as our favorite Shane-in-a-can.

It also introduced us to Kurtwood Smith, who made an excellent psychopathic archcriminal prior to his That 70's Show years.

[Orrex]

94. Kurtwood Smith is a magnificent actor

I've never seen him give a bad performance.

[Deja Q]

96. Star Trek II

[Forkboy]

97. The Thing

Though I liked both of your choices a lot, too. Where's the love on DU for Buckaroo? :wtf:

[RagAss]

101. Stranger Than Paradise

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXqyqpssWwo&feature=related

[deucemagnet]

102. Bloodsport is the most ass-kicking movie of the 80s.

It still kicks some ass today, too.

[ileus]

103. Red Dawn

[Fire Walk With Me]

104. I say that only Skittles can truly resolve this conundrum.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

105. Raw Deal, Arnold Schwarzenegger, 1986

And I can say that because TODAY I proudly purchased the DVD (my VHS-from-Cinemax is buried in a box of old VHS tapes that I have no intention of rummaging through).

WHY is it the greatest? Easy. Around the 1 hour 24 minute mark, Arnie pops a tape of The Rolling Stones' "Satisfaction" into his car's deck and proceeds to blow away organized crime. Not one or two guys, all of it. It's like "Braveheart" except it's Arnie driving a big Detroit gas-guzzler with a semi-automatic and Mick & Keith as his soundtrack.



Wrong?

No, my friend. Watch "Raw Deal" and bask in your WRONG-itude.

:rofl:

:toast:

[JoePhilly]

107. I might add "The Warriors".

[NJmaverick]

109. Is there even a question???? Big Trouble rules and Buckeroo drools