I feel safe here. I am going to reveal what I am going to do for the inauguration.

[LeftyFingerPop]

I have had this planned for 2 years.

On inauguration day, I awaken at 3 am and start drinking heavily.

I drink copious amounts for 3 hours, then a HUMMER limo picks me up.

I drink heavily in the limo from NY to DC. By the way, this limo has special security privileges. I paid $1,590,000 for it, just for this one day.

The limo stops 50 YARDS from where President-elect Obama takes his oath.

I step out of the limo, stinking drunk, and start screaming....YEAH!!!!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! OBAMA!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKIN' A!!!!

Secret service arrests me, but I get out on bail which is included in the $1,590.000.

What a day it is going to be.