How does one stop hating oneself, when one remains oneself?

[Lady Effingbroke]

That which cannot be changed?

[LeftyFingerPop]

1. By understanding that there is a reason for everything....

And I am not talking religion here.

And by understanding that we do not see everything we impact.

[Lady Effingbroke]

6. Thank you for your thoughtful reply.

It is succinct, yet encouraging.

I do not post often, yet I lurk on a daily basis. I always enjoy reading the threads you start.

Thanks!

[LeftyFingerPop]

23. Thank you...your brief comment here actually brightened my day.

:)

Imagine how you brighten the days of those you know in person.

[datasuspect]

15. 9 times out of ten the "reason" is rather pedestrian and mundane

[Fire Walk With Me]

2. Find where it -can- be changed.

When you see change that you would like for yourself, do what they are doing. In 12-Step groups, for example, there is community and support for positive change in spite of the worst internal circumstances.

[Lady Effingbroke]

7. Thank you.

I have considered 12-step programs before, specifically al-anon. I do not drink, but my family is beset with alcoholism, as so many others sadly are.

Time to get moving and change what I can.

[Fire Walk With Me]

18. That would make you a prime candidate for the benefits of al-anon

and ACA (adult children of alcoholics) if they were especially abusive. Check it out and find a better way.

[JeffR]

3. Extend to yourself the benefit of the doubt you probably extend

to others you care about. You deserve it just as much as they do.

[Lady Effingbroke]

8. Thank you for reminding me of something which is so easily forgotten.

When one forgives, often the last to be forgiven is oneself.

[puerco-bellies]

4. Recognize your defects, and act contrary to them.

By taking conscious contrary actions, practiced over time, your thoughts that lead to negative acts will morph in to positive thoughts.
Act as if, and you will change.

Stop reliving past actions, and events. Don't bind yourself to what causes you pain. It sounds hokey, but I know that it works.

[Lady Effingbroke]

9. Thank you for your reply. Breaking the cycle of past thoughts and actions is difficult.

What you advise is a daily exercise that must be consciously practiced, and yes, it does work. One must consciously pause, reassess the troubling situation, choose to act in a new and more positive way.

[Iggo]

5. Change what you can.

You'll always be yourself, but you don't have to be a hater. Change that.

[XemaSab]

10. Be the hero of your own story

Heros make mistakes, but go on to do good things and be better people.

Alternative: be the antihero of your own story. :evilgrin:

[taterguy]

11. Drink til you forget why you don't like yourself

[KansDem]

14. I've tried that...

I usually end up hating myself for not buying enough hooch.

[Ivan Sputnik]

12. re-examine the whole concept of "self"

I recommend some spiritual (not necessarily "religious") questing.

[Danger Mouse]

13. Find your reason for being.

:hug:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

16. Focus outside of yourself.

:hug:

[Phillycat]

17. Try helping others.

Nothing for getting you out of self-centered fear and self-pity like humbling yourself and being helpful to others. That's how you build real self-esteem.

[applegrove]

19. Your greatest fault is your best asset. If you are boring and quiet...you likely are a good listener

Look at it that way.

[SoxFan]

20. If you figure it out, PM me.

[Midlodemocrat]

21. By recognizing that you have gifts that others deem valuable.

Even if you don't see it right at this moment. By recognizing that you are important to others and their lives are enriched simply by your presence.

[Redstone]

22. Hey, I was thinking about you just the other day! Not only because

I like your screen name so much, but also because I hadn't seen you here for a while.

Hope all is well with you these days.

Redstone