I just turned my profile on - ask me anything

[ForrestGump]

Silly me - I thought displaying my DUser profile would tell everyone my real name and bodily measurements and and detail under which mat I hide my key. It doesn't, apparently. I hope not, anyway.

[Darth_Kitten]

1. no.

:evilgrin:

[ForrestGump]

4. Good, 'cos I didn't expect anyone to

:-)

Weird, too - I had no idea that I'd gone past 3000 posts. Half of them related to your....um....kitty.

[Darth_Kitten]

8. now I hurt your feelings....

and I feel sad. :(

after all the attention you gave to the kitten. :evilgrin:

[ForrestGump]

11. Well, when I know that she's still purring, at least when

you lovingly stroke her fur, I'll begin to feel myself again.

[Itascapark]

2. So, sailor, about those measurements...

:evilgrin:

[ForrestGump]

5. Sailor? You want them in nautical miles?

What a nautical boy you are!

And why knot....

[Itascapark]

7. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh...

*rim shot*

B-)

[ForrestGump]

9. :-)

But kindly keep your rim to yourself...I'm not that kind of boy. :D

[short bus president]

3. How does it feel

To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

[ForrestGump]

6. It feels pretty damn depressing, actually, when you put it that way

Lighten up, Bob - how about a rousing chorus of "Roll Out The Barrel"?

[short bus president]

12. If you insist:

here you go!

yes, the .wav file is safe.

[short bus president]

23. HEY WHAT THE F*CK, FORREST?!?

You ask me to sing, and I go to all the trouble of arranging to perform my German Dance und Song, and then you leave me hangin'?

I swear, if I didn't know you were a little slow I'd hafta kick yer ass!

[ForrestGump]

24. Dude! I'm totally sorry!

I must've blanked it from my consciousness!

Bob Dylan's sure got a different sound going, I'll tell you....sounds like he might be using speed, too. So sad. :o

But still, I must adornigly thank you, from the heart of my bottom, for that gift of song. I am simply stunned by its....well, by its volume.

[short bus president]

28. Why, thank you.

I was afraid I might have to call "shenanigans" on your ass! Get yer broomsticks! Someone's declared shenanigans!"

[realFedUp]

10. sneakers or wingtips?

:-)

[ForrestGump]

14. Sneakers!

[ForrestGump]

15. What are 'wingtips,' anyway?

(apart from those things on aircraft)

[nuxvomica]

13. How do you like your shrimp prepared?

And by shrimp, I mean the little sea creatures.

[ForrestGump]

16. Shrimp is the fruit of the sea....

You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, sauté it....there's, uh, shrimp kebabs, shrimp Creole.....shrimp gumbo, panfried, deep fried, stir fried...there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp....shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.....

....that's....that's about it....



Bubba was my best good friend, and even I know that ain't something you cna find just around the corner.

[Skittles]

17. YOU'RE A GEEK FORREST

I'D COME OVER NOW AND KICK YOUR ASS IF I DIDN'T HAVE TO GO TO HOME DEPOT.

[ForrestGump]

18. *sigh* There's always an excuse......

I'll wait. Just me and my ass..... :loveya:

[Kamika]

19. Who's your daddy, and what does he do?

hmm

[ForrestGump]

20. He's on vacation!

Kamika and I? We was like peas and carrots!

[LWolf]

21. You look sorta familiar.

Have we met before?

[ForrestGump]

22. Yes!

Well, maybe.

I don't know, really.

But we have now, so we ain't strangers.....

[dorktv]

25. I have query...

What is the question that gave rise to the answer for the meaning of the life, the universe and everything?

[ForrestGump]

26. What is 6x7?

Did I make it through to Final Jeopardy?

[SOteric]

27. What did you say that made it hot...?

[ForrestGump]

30. I said

"Bella profile....ciao, mama" and then I ran out of Italian so I just let it sniff my armpits. Boy, did that ever do the trick....

[SOteric]

32. And just how

did that particular aromatic mugging keep your profile from screaming for 'momma' and dropping into a coma?

[ForrestGump]

33. Aren't screaming for momma and dropping into a coma the very

hallmarks of being 'turned on'? 'cos that's what they all do. Do you mean that, all this time, I've been going about it wrong?

Hope not. :-(

Hello? Are you still there?

Hello?

[SOteric]

34. "Momma..."

[ForrestGump]

35. Stand back!! I'm a trained Emergency First Responder!

This woman desperately needs my lips against hers and possibly my hands on her chest!

[SOteric]

36. Desperate?! Dude.

[ForrestGump]

37. Sorry. Please forgive me. My left hand didn't know what my right hand

was doing, and I was only typing with one hand.

:P

[Rhiannon12866]

29. If you're Elvis, I know all I need to know. You're a legend. n/t

[ForrestGump]

31. You got it, baby. And this, hot off my Web cam....

[Rhiannon12866]

38. LOL!

I am glad to know that you're still among us!:D

[ForrestGump]

39. Uh-huh-huh....here, have a scarf.....

:D

[Rhiannon12866]

40. Thanks! I will treasure it always!

:D