Dr. KittenHearts advice to the Lonely and Lookin'.......

[Darth_Kitten]

Dr.KittenHearts here to offer well-thought out advice to the Lonely and Lookin' out there. (not a real doctor just someone who thinks highly of herself) :evilgrin:

Any really simple, and I mean simple, lovelife questions you have? :crazy:

[ForrestGump]

1. Why, when women

are being held captive in chains and light-bondage gear by the evil Dr Putzkopf, do they always wait 'til after I've swung across rooms by chandelier and defeated Uzi-armed hordes of minions with mere snaps of my whip before telling me that they're seeing someone else (usually some little dweeb like Russell Crowe) and are really not interested and, besides, I'm all hot and sweaty and just just, like, a major turnoff?

Or is that just me?

[Raven]

4. Well, you just answered my question...

on the other thread.

[ForrestGump]

7. Me? Answer something?

:D

As if! :P

[Darth_Kitten]

6. My advice......

these broads just ain't for you, bud. You are expending too much energy with people who just cannot give back. Lovin' Russell Crowe is not a very healthy sign, do you need the hurt?
Join a chains and light bondage gear group near you and stay away from this evil Dr. Putzkopf dude, and who knows, you may meet some really good friends, and that potential Ms. Right, in your class. It's worth a shot, and YES, you deserve LOVE. :)
Let me know what happens.

Whoops!! wrong smilie...

[ForrestGump]

8. Thank you for your profoundly wise response and your compassion.....

And I'll send the Purple People Eater over to take care of your problem with errant smilies....

:loveya:

[Itascapark]

2. Dr. KittenHearts...?

Why do all the women I date keep handcuffing me to the bed, and stealing my wallet?:wtf:

[Darth_Kitten]

9. They are kinky thieves....

or perhaps they are misunderstood. Main thing is, YOU are not responsible for their issues. You have to work on YOU!!!
There seems to be a trend here, women who take from you all the time. I think you are better than that, why don't join a "broads handcuffing me and stealing my wallet" anonymous support group.
I think it'll help you realize your TRUE potential!!

Let me know what happens!


Oopsie Again!! WRONG smilie....so sorry!!!!!

[Itascapark]

10. Thank you Doctor...

I have seen the light, and, thanks to those snazzy icons, what a terrible fool I've been...oh...oh, no...bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...;(

[Paragon]

3. Exactly how are you qualified?

I'm pretty convinced that love is a mystery to everyone (especially the ones who give advice) and that experience is the one and only teacher.

[Darth_Kitten]

11. I have a need to connect, and heal.......

The world of love can sometimes be a lonely and scary place....just doing my little part to help!

[Raven]

5. Why is it that all the men I'm attracted to

are gay? Really.

[Darth_Kitten]

12. hmmm.....this is a toughy....

Ask yourself some serious questions, what is it you REALLY want in a relationship? And what quality did each of these men have that attracted you to them?

When you know what attracts you about a person, you can begin a search to find that very special man for YOU. And yes, YOU deserve LOVE with someone available.
I suggest joining a "hot raring to go all-around wonderful women formerly attracted to guys who are unavailable" support group. There should be one near you.

Please keep me posted, and remember, YOU MATTER!!!

(whoops!! unsupportive smilie!!!!!)


Believe in LOVE!!!!!!!

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

13. I have a question.

Why does no guy want to go out with me? :shrug: If you can answer that you may get a prize.

[short bus president]

20. If you'd just been born a decade earlier...

;-)







:loveya:

[Darth_Kitten]

24. Doctor is in........

Well, that's a falsehood. There are lots of men out there, and you must be patient. :)

Just do things differently, and put yourself in the path of eligible single men. Go where they hang out and who know who you will meet?


Best of luck, and remember, you MUST believe in yourself!!! and be confident!!!


On that happy note......


Uh, on that happy note (again).....

[Darth_Kitten]

14. The doctor is currently out.....

But please leave your concerns and questions here and I will promise to answer them when I get back. :)

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

16. oh sure!

right when the questions are getting tough! :D

[Darth_Kitten]

17. Honest! I will answer when I get back.....

every needy person ;) will get a response from me.

[KG]

15. Why won't Darth_Kitten come to Florida and share

a Krispy Kreme Donut and a hot wet kiss that last three days with me?

:(

[Darth_Kitten]

18. You will get your answer...

later... :evilgrin:

It's been a hectic day.... :)

[Darth_Kitten]

25. This is a challenging case.......

The doctor makes it a point of never mixing her personal and professional lives.

Sure, sex and donuts are indeed, wonderful things to share in a relationship, but are strict no-nos in a love advice doctor/willing dupe, er, "patient" one.

I hope I have let you down gently....


(off the record, just HOW wet could that kiss get???)

[KG]

28. thanks doc.

i appreciate your concern about my feelings, but i've grown quite used to unrequited love. actually starting to prefer it. :)

(off the record - that kiss would be SO wet, you would get lost in it and never find your way back to canada.)

[Fridays Child]

19. Hey, did you have that book, too?

Katie Kittenheart from the Scholastic book order form in 1963.

[leftist_rebel1569]

21. a question....for when you get back

WHY DOES NO ONE LOVE ME? :(

[Darth_Kitten]

26. I understand your hurt.....

but YOU are loved....

When you say "no one", how can you be so sure? Are you sure it's not some "negative nelly" thinking on your part? You only imagine you are unlovable because of your mindset? Hmmm?

Behind every dark rain cloud there's a blue sky waiting to happen!!!


Really!!! there is!!!


So, just think positively, and things will start to fall into place. You will realize YOU are LOVED!!!

Best of wishes to you, and please keep in touch.

Uh, please ignore the above smilie!!!

[SyracuseDemocrat]

22. Well,

first of all, where can I get an expert markswoman kitty like that one, right there in your post. :P

Secondly, should I shave against the grain until I have a baby face, or should I leave a little?

[Darth_Kitten]

27. You can find a kitty like markswoman kitty....

in ANY apartment without adequate air conditioning and/or kookie catnip toys left lying about.
Only so much a kitten will take. :evilgrin:

[sasquatch]

23. Are you ticklish?

I say it's time to get the Kitty:evilgrin:

[Elidor]

29. Doctor

Why does dating suck so bad? I've beaten my head against the same brick wall more times than I care to count, and I finally stopped and said, "Why am I banging my head against this wall?"

Dizzy in Dixie

[Darth_Kitten]

30. Hmmmm.....

So you are getting the dates, but have found them somewhat lacking?


I'm concerned that the "quality" of your dating partners is causing you stress and anxiety.

Here's a dating "exercise" I've developed to help you with your situation. Next time you go out on a date with someone who is causing you grief ie: has weird teeth odor, or talks only about themselves, WHATEVER! say out loud "NO! You will not cause me grief! I deserve the BEST!" and walk away from the situation. Don't look back.


See, if you stand up for yourself, and refuse to let dating boors cheapen your dating experience, eventually you will gain so much confidence and courage that you will only attract those who are scared of your powers and who aim to please you!!!!! (now wouldn't someone being scared and in awe of you the ideal person to date?) see, it's so easy!!

My methods may be controversial, but, I believe, effective.



On that positive note...


Uh, scrap that smilie. Keep me posted how things are going!

[Elidor]

31. Lol, you QUACK!

So shock and awe is the way to go, eh? ROFL

[NightTrain]

32. Dear Dr. Kittenhearts....

I decided quite some time ago that I would never again become serious about a woman with whom I have nothing in common musically and/or politically. When I tell people this, often they opine that I'm too choosy and that if I don't get off my high horse, I'll die alone.

Since music and politics are my two biggest passions, I simply can't imagine myself being happy with a mate with whom I have little to nothing in common in those areas. I refuse to subscribe to the mindset that it's always better to be involved with someone than to be by yourself, mainly because personal experience has shown me otherwise.

While I sometimes feel lonely, I'm generally OK with being by myself. What I find irksome is that the older I get, the greater the number of people who consider it strange that I've never been married, or that I haven't been in a relationship lately. And they rarely hesitate to make their feelings known to me!

So, how do I deal with the irritation these individuals often make me feel? My instinct is to tell them to mind their own fucking business, but often I'm in situations where that simply is not an option. (Like when I'm making a delivery to one of my employer's longtime clients.)

So Dr. K, what would you recommend that I do?

[Darth_Kitten]

33. Hmmmmmm........

It seems like you have made a choice to be "choosy", and are comfortable with your decision. It's not for anybody else to decide whom YOU are compatible with!!! When the right person comes along, YOU will know!!!!

Why do people feel they can tell you what to do and ask about your personal life? :nuke:
Since you feel you cannot point out so-called "inadequacies" about them (ie: so you are not getting any at home and that's why you are obsessed about my love life, you miserable troll-like creature!? )in defence of yourself , then try this.

INWARDLY know yourself to be SUPERIOR to these nosy nincompoops and just smile and quietly chuckle to yourself whenever they ask one of their dumb questions!!! Let them guess what all that is all about!!! You will be seen as elusive and mysterious to boot!! YOU WIN!!!!!!!!

Let me know how this works out!!!

Oh, that should be:

[Darth_Kitten]

34. The doctor is back in....

:evilgrin: