Husbands making significantly less than their wives

[Nikia]

My husband makes significantly less money than I do. His parents, my mother, and some of the people who I work with give us a hard time about that. As a egalatarian type feminist, I don't really care fundamentally although we would have less financial pressure if he made as much as I did and give me more options for finding a job that I might like better. He says that it does not bother him. Although men generally make more than women, I think that this thing is becoming more common.
Are there are other DUers like me who have the wife making significantly more than the husband. Does this bother either one of you? Does anyone in your life give you problems about this? For those of you who are unmarried or not in this situation, would it bother you if this was the case?
I would think that DU would be more progressive in attitudes this way, although some of the things I have seen posted have suggested otherwise. I am just interested.

[GOPisEvil]

1. I wouldn't care if my wife made more than me, but

all the crap I'd have to hear from other people would drive me nuts.

[commander bunnypants]

2. sheeesh

What is the big deal. I have masters my wife never gradigtated college and makes a hundred bucks less then me. Hell inthis economy any money is good money.


DDQM

[XanaDUer]

3. How do people know what either of you earn?

Lord knows I would tell them I don't discuss personal issues like that.

[underpants]

4. My wife makes about $10K more than I do but it doesn't bother me

I don't know I grew up in a household with only one parent for a long time, my mother, so it doesn't matter to me at all. People are people and money is money.

[boxster]

5. Until recently, my wife made significantly more than I did.

I'm closing the gap, however! :D

It's never bothered me - the more we make as a couple, the merrier.

I think a lot of men resent that their wives make more because of competitiveness and the whole breadwinner thing. A lot of it is ego.

My take is: who cares? It's all going to the same place anyway, paying the same bills, etc. I have too many other things to worry about than outearning my wife! :)

[finecraft]

6. I'm in that situation, too

but it doesn't bother us in the least. My husband and I have been married for 25 years, and at different points during our life, I have been the "major breadwinner". In fact, there was a point about 15 years ago when for 5 years or so he was a "stay at home dad" with our son. Never bothered us, and no one we knew ever said anything about it to us.

[NuckinFutz]

7. It's been like that in my house for

several years. My husband did have ego problems with it pretty bad for a while, but he's either dealing better with it now, or faking it really well. We've never been bothered by anybody about it much. He was having trouble keeping a job, but things have settled now, and he's been in the same place for almost three years now, and this has alot to do with his improved attitude.

[RandomKoolzip]

8. My wife makes more than I do....

But she is five years older than me and she finished college (I did not) to boot. So she has marketable skills and a piece of paper to go with 'em, and I hafta work in the food service industry.

Honestly, it DOES bother me. It makes me feel like a failure that she's carrying the both of us sometimes. She tells me that she doesn't care, but I worry, you know? I plan on going back to school soon, so that I can get my degree and hopefully approach her earning power. I'm tired of being a mooch.

As far as being a man/woman issue, I feel no damaged pride that a WOMAN is making more than me - that's not the problem here- the problem is that we're on the poverty line and she's paying more of the bills and rent than me.. No hurt pride...just a lot of stress when we can't pay the bills and her bank account is depleted. I want to help shoulder her burden, not zoom past her and make her feel inferior.

I really wouldn't care what she did for a living, as long as I'm not bleeding her dry monetarily and we both were doing something we LIKED to do for a job.

[veganwitch]

15. good luck with going back to school

what are you going to study.

[RandomKoolzip]

17. Technical writing, hopefully....

Contrary to how I write on DU, I'm actually quite adept at using the language. (Yeah, right, I hear you say....)

[Donkeyboy75]

9. My wife makes four times what I do.

Doesn't bother me, except that both she and I would like her to be able to stay home with the children. I'm on a grad school fellowship, so hopefully this won't be a problem.

Our families are pretty cool with the arrangement. My brother gives me a rough time, but it's all in good fun.

[Mr. McD]

10. My wife currently makes almost double what I make.

It's a non issue.

[capriccio]

11. Chump change

My wife makes significantly more than I do; she also spends significantly more. I don't get blasted for it at all, but until they learn otherwise, most everyone we meet assumes that I'm responsible for our comfortable lifestyle.

The real problem is that she and I view money differently. $100 to me is still $100. To her it's chump change...

Fie $100...$1000!

[TXlib]

18. And does that difference in perception of money value cause friction?

[capriccio]

26. Yes

[FlaGranny]

12. I used to make more than my husband.

Now my husband makes more than me. It never made any difference to either one of us. We both have worked and pooled our money. It never occured to us to worry about who was making more. No one has ever had any problems with it, as far as I know. If someone had said something, I would have considered it very rude, to say the least.

[slor]

13. My wife makes more than me and it makes me...

HAPPY!!!!!!!!! I ask men this simple question to fix those that have issues with a bigger-slice-of-bread winning wife. If you make $20,000 and your wife makes $60,000, would you change her rate of pay to match your own? Most say "Hell NO!"

[veganwitch]

14. currently my partner is unemployed

so i make lots more than him. that will hopefully change in the near future but he will just be temping and im fully employed with opportunities for overtime. once again i will make more.

but after the baby is born, we are, for now, planning on me returning to work while he stays home, therefore he will not be participating in paid employment but doing work nonetheless. and he is hoping to use the opportunity to write, which could lead to some income.

[POed_Ex_Repub]

16. My wife is the only one making money right now

And she's been close to a saint as far as being patient as I look for a job. When we were first together (and the IT market was still good) I made more money, but marriage is all about the sharing. We're in it for the long haul collective good not looking for a "winner" to the occupation game. I don't really mind if she makes more money. The more money she makes, the more money WE make. And that can't be a bad thing right?

[Kamika]

19. I can understand if guys don't want to make less money

Isn't how much money a guy make a big penis increaser? I mean if their wife earns more I bet his friends make a big deal out of it

[terryg11]

20. I'm there

and I'm ok with it.

[Nikia]

21. I am glad your all cool with that

I have been on the threads in GD and was really wondering if DU was as sexist as the general population.

[Eureka]

22. We alternate

At times I've earned up to 60% more than Mrs Eureka, at the moment she is earning about 60% more than me.

As background, both IT workers, although she is far more qualified than me, and smarter, looks much better, the whole bit :-)

It doesn't cause any troubles at all, money and effort put into our 'life' aren't necessarily equated, we balance things in other ways.

[Deja Q]

23. Right now, I'd settle for a boyfriend or girlfriend...

Never mind the bollocks about money, it's togetherness and caring for each other that counts.

But what do I know... :-(

[central scrutinizer]

24. that fits our family

I (the husband) work a 9-month grant funded education position at a university - my gross is probably around $27K per year. My wife is a licensed electrician and she made around $60K last year. But she is more likely to get laid off than I am so this year, I may make $27K and she may make $15K.

[stanwyck]

25. This is good for men

as more and more women make more money. It's time we quit viewing men as "wallets". It's not fair. And for years, many men were trapped in jobs they hated because they were the sole breadwinner or the breadwinner making the substantial money. Marriages should be partnerships. Unfortunately, I do not make more than my husband. But I have several friends who do. This gives the husbands, finally, more freedom to spend time with their kids, help at their kids' schools, and pursue careers which truly interest them. Several of the men I know have started their own businesses. Their wives are able to make enough to sustain the family plus cover the health insurance. These men might have opted for a safer route if they didn't have the support, financially and emotionally, of their wives. I can't help but think the scenario of women contributing more to the family's finances helps men be better fathers. When I was growing up, too many men didn't have adequate time for their families. I hope that is changing. Men are so much more than their paycheck; we do our daughters a huge disservice if we teach them the best man is the richest man. Marry that man and the woman will be an employee, not a wife.